Fingers positioned readily on the keyboard, pondering: ‘What story could I possibly recount that would validate my decision to end my life?’ Dispassionate and solemn, I dismissed the momentary notion to expatiate philosophically or quixotically –– I’ve had enough of cerebral & idealistic quests… ‘Has the nexus of your identity transmogrified into a psychogenic tabula rasa?’ Nonsense… Re: personal past and present-day, I have nothing to offer but silence; I simply want to die.
Tag:
enough
Full-alert here, if you are going to try to bash me, insult me, or talk me out of this, please leave this thread. I am not asking for your judgement or opinions. You are not me, you have not lived my life, and so you have no right to decide what I should do with it Second warning, this is a very long post. Please bear with me.
Okay, after getting that point across, I was wondering the certain fatality doses for prescription medications. I am trying to garner as much information from people as possible, so if you know any other websites/forums where I won’t […]
Most days, I don’t think I’m addicted to cutting. I can get by without it, but then sometimes, I can’t breathe or think until I let the blood flow. Does anyone else feel like that? We don’t have enough alcohol in our house for me to have an addiction (my mom only drinks wine) but I never want to hang out with my friends unless we can drink or smoke.
it’s not a big problem, sorry. And I would have discuss it in a chat, but hey, it’s blocked here at my work.
Why on earth do I always feel so stupid, disappointed and empty when I ask someone to see me, and they can’t ? Really ? My mind knows it’s not personnal, but I can’t help the feelings. I rarely am courageous enough to offer activities to people, and when I do, it’s always like this. Well, maybe not always, but you know what I mean…
maybe it does matter
that im broken
and sometimes very lonely
maybe it does matter
that i want to die
and sometimes i think i deserve to
maybe it does matter
that when i say im fine that its a lie
and in reality im so far from fine
maybe it does matter
that some people care about me
and others just hate me
maybe it does matter
that i should live
and not die
maybe it does matter…
but who knows?
maybe it doesn’t.
maybe it doesn’t matter that im broken
that im alone
that i want to die
that im not fine
that people care about me
that […]
im not meant to be here. ive decided that. i have no purpose here. no one out there really tries for me to live. no one is stopping me. i try my best. but it doesn’t work. maybe i wasnt meant to live. maybe i was meant to die. im not sure. but all i know is im a burden. i guess im one of those mistakes you tried to erase, but you couldnt get the job done well enough so im just a scratched out mark. i dont know guys. i know you dont have an answer i guess it doesnt really matter. but […]
i don’t get it. why am i not good enough? why does he not tell me he’s cheating. he is. i know he is. he knows i know, so just admit it. why can’t i break up with him? he was supposed to be my sanctuary. now he’s my pain. i can’t go or be anywhere with him because i know what he’s doing. this sucks. can’t i get some peace? happiness? should i leave? it’d probably better – for both of us. he could be with the person he wants to be with. he won’t have to worry about hurting me. he can be […]
For those who read my post yesterday, I feel the need to give you a feedback on how things went last night.
So I did talk with my friend. I was really anxious about it and unsure if she was the right person to tell everything. Some of you gave me a little strength to just try it. and I gave it a shot. I’ve always been a better writter than a talker when it comes to feelings and I thought I wouldn’t be able to express it clearly enough. But I did, and I guess that the way I told her things were ok ’cause […]
I’m 21, (ya I know I’m young) .. My whole life has been nothing but suffering. I’ve been bullied since I could remember. I’ve had my ups and down’s but have been depressed for many years. It’s at its worst right now. I don’t have a licence, I don’t have a job, I don’t have highschool, I will never see college. I don’t even know what I want to do for my future. I don’t even see me having a future. My boyfriend left me because he “doesn’t love me” anymore. He can’t understand what I’m going through. We still talk. He’s going to be dating someone […]
Rachel Ferguson- Never Good Enough
The story of me. I wrote this after my first hospital visit, it was going to be my suicide note but a close friend of mine found me before I died. He has an uncanny ability to call me whenever I’m seriously debating suicide even though he’s moved all the way across the world from me.
Born to the urban monster,
Raised to be mindless,
Her curiosity brought pain,
Tears of blood shed in silence.
Ostracized by her peers,
In the shadows she played.
Her “friends†cruel like the rest,
As she was bullied there came no aid.
Fragile, she often wept,
They laughed and pointed.
Ridiculed and mocked into […]
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