This page is a graveyard. This page is where we come to die. We stop by for a fleeting moment, trying to write something of meaning, to express the void that encompasses our lives. Soon enough though, we get bored of this site to, and we move on.
“Could it be possible! This old saint in his woods has not yet heard the news that God is dead!” – Nietzsche
(TW mentions cutting)
I’m scared. I can’t shake this misery. I don’t know how to.
I’m so afraid of death but so afraid of carrying on with my life- is it just going to be like this from now on? Hurt piled upon hurt upon hurt and the remedy all in other people’s hands?
I don’t know how other people live. How do they know who they are? The only identity I have is my achievements and when I’m prevented from achieving (by rejection, by being overlooked, by not being WHAT PEOPLE WANT) my drive to live just runs out immediately.
This morning I cried and […]
Hi folks.
Well today ive tried to go for some shopping, looks like i need to buy a suit (new year party thingy), oh sweet, like i said i tried, i went to some shopping, but its so messy, so many people.. I had to give up, it took all my strengh. Than ive tried to go get a coffee in midle of town you know, just wanted to get it and to go near the river to sit in there and cry, yes because this try , sucked all i had, and again, people and traffic everywhere, gave up again.
Here i AM, tired, confused, near […]
S.P.I.R.I.T.
Spirit, let’s hear it
S.P.I.R.I.T.
Spirit, let’s hear it
Let’s go!
I’ve had enough
There’s a voice in my head
Says I’m better off dead
But if I sing along
A little fucking louder
To a happy song
I’ll be alright
You want to give up
Gave it all that you’ve got
And it still doesn’t cut
But if you sing along
A little fucking louder
To a happy song
You’ll be just fine cause’
Every now and again we get that feeling
And the great big void inside us opens up
And I really wish that you could help
But my head is like a carousel
And I’m […]
I’m only fourteen, closing up on fifteen in April. I’ve got my whole damn life ahead of me and countless near-death experiences and suicide attempts have gotten me nothing BUT treatment. This is the first time I’m relapsing – not because it’s new, but because recently (earlier this year) is the first time I’d gotten treatment. You see, my depression and anxiety had been with me since birth. I never had a broken home or anything, the closest thing I had was a few bullies at school that made fun of me for talking to myself and having strange behavior. I was an extremely delusional […]
I feel bad for telling people how I feel . Most say that I am too much , and that they cannot handle it .
God I wish I just had someone to sit with me and that would let me lay in their lap and cry .
I can’t even talk about my suicidal thoughts and it kills me .
I wish I could leave this life, I just want to see things more beautifully .
I want to wake up and see the sun and trees and birds outside and feel happy to be alive . I’d rather sleep , and that’s all the energy I have […]
I promised a not to take enough to kill myself to my girlfriend. I relapses and had a paid attack and stole my dads pain meds but they were really strong ad I drank alot of vodka with itandnow I can’t focus get well can you tell me what to do to help my system deal with them? Becaus3 I’m not ready yet in so numb….
Hello my lovelies 🙂 I haven’t been on here for quite some time now… I thought if I stayed away long enough, my negativity would cease to exist. That it wouldn’t affect you guys- I like bringing positivity here! I like letting you all know that you are loved and cherished are are beautiful and strong and inspiring (BECAUSE YOU ARE, YOU FUCKING FABULOUS PEOPLE YOU) but I… you know what? Never mind. That’s all I want to say. I missed you all, and I hope I can help in any way I can 🙂 Love and hugs to all *opens arms for giant group […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m left wondering how genuine these posts are. everyone on the suicideproject is run by their emotions (myself included), and I’m wondering how a depressed man/woman can think clearly enough to type as much as everyone here has, or if everything here is typed simply out of angst, rendering it all meaningless.
Imagination.
Imagine having no spouse, no significant other. Nobody that gives a shit whether you live, or die.
Imagine losing your house, or rather having it taken from you on the whims of others. Imagine this happening multiple times.
Imagine your children scoffing at your efforts, your love, your time, your value in their lives. Imagine living as a money tree, only visited when the fruits of your efforts are desirable pickings.
Imagine not being worthy of friendship, companionship, or love. You know this through constant and consistent demonstration.
Imagine being shunned by coworkers and peers. You are not enough. You are weird. Why do you wear that hat freak?
Imagine […]
My boyfriend broke up with me. I finally had the courage to tell him about my struggle with depression, and he broke up with me. There is a line of guys wanting to date me and wait on me hand and foot. How was I lucky enough to fall in love with the one guy who couldn’t love me? I’m devastated.
I absolutely hate the whole “suicide is selfish” bullshit. I really feel that people are selfish for making me stay alive & suffer. Sure, they’re not forcing me to stay alive, but I’ve been given the guilt trip & all of that stuff. Pretty much everyone in my life knows that I want to die. Family, friends, doctors, etc. I’m rather open about it. I’ve made all sorts of promises, but I really don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve had various plans. Some halfhearted attempts. Most of my plans now are pretty full proof, but complicated. I just stumbled across a new […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
you are you and i am me.we could be us…it would be..how can i put this..brilliant would be an understatement.i lose myself in your details and i lose myself more when u tell me that “i love you is because i don t love you yet” . i ask you again..can you see yourself? can u observe yourself like i do? i don t know you…i mean come on…i don t know you but it s enough to hear you…to listen to how you laugh and speak..and to imagine the expression of your face..and i already know i like you. and jesus…i so like you.i […]
this year has been horrid, I lost my girlfriend after a drug induced psychosis and wasted all of my money, I’ve managed to save some up again but I’m over feeling hopelessly depressed everyday. I’m buying enough pure nicotine to make sure it works, I tried oleander but nothing happened. My family will be upset but I just can’t do it anymore
The two sexiest men in the world exist as ghosts. We know they’re there, but they’re unreachable and untouchable, and only make themselves available to the most unworthy people at random, and then disappear back into the void where they can only be admired from a distance and torture the heart and soul of the one who would truly care.
——
In the end I’m always alone. Always forgotten. Not important. Never was enough to be more than a passing thought only because I dared to insert myself.
While meeting my husband, I need a mask that tells him that he is a real nice, caring spouse and he does knows everything about me. While meeting my parents, I need a mask that tells them that they were right in their every parenting decision, including arranging my marriage. While talking to the siblings, yet another mask that makes them feel secure and protected by their big sis. Yet another mask for co-workers and acquaintances (well I don’t have friends, Let me rephrase it, I never HAD any friends) to make them like me. Sometimes, I feel I need a mask just to look in the […]
I’ve made too many mistakes. My life is like a painting that’s been painted over again and again, so much that the errors, the repulsive missteps can’t be hidden anymore. It’s just a big, hot mess. I never knew what Selective Service was until I was too old to register. I waited to start college too late in life. That’s how I found out. I was filing for aid and discovered a problem that I would eventually realize would keep me from ever attending college. I can never get federal aid. My credit has never been good enough to qualify for private loans. So, that’s […]
Thought I would feel better if I punched that steel door a few times. And I did, for a bit. But now the redness is fading and I don’t even have any bruises to look at. What a waste. Apparently I don’t hit hard enough.
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