So, Friday I had a very embarrassing panic attack at the hospital. I fainted and was taked to the ER. I was discharged same day.
I couldn’t handle the pain anymore, so yesterday I took a bunch of my sleeping tablets and antidepressants. I woke up in hospital today. I’m on a hospital bed even now as I’m writing this, await a consultation with a psychiatrist.
I’m fucked. Why didn’t I just die?
In July of 2015 I attempted suicide. I tried to overdose on a full prescription of Xanax. I was prescribed quite a bit. What happened between when I took the bottle, and when I woke up over 24 hours later in the ER is a blur to me. I would hardly call myself a “suicide survivor” because all I can think about is dying. I have always been depressed, mostly due to my severe, crippling anxiety. I can hardly function and that is no stretch of the truth. My desires in life I can never achieve. I become paralyzed when I interact with anyone who […]
I have been passively suicidal all my life. I know, some say there is no way, but I remember wanting to die at 7. I was not abused overly much. My dad a little to harsh with corporal punishment. My mom never said I was stupid, but she always gave me a look or used a tone that said I was stupid. I guess she had no patience. idk. I was always depressed. Borderline personality I was told once, but never stuck with therapy. I have had more jobs and sexual encounters than I can remember. I just can’t stick with anything. Then get all […]
I thought the therapy was great at the time while I was in the psyche ward. Problem is, what really helped was the “friends” I thought I made. I have severe attachment issues and can’t stand to be alone and rejection brings out my PTSD. If they was going to do therapy, it should have been some sort of 1 on 1 thing. Now I feel this huge empty void again but without the suicidal thoughts. Because nobody returned my calls and deleted my friends request on Facebook, my self confidence is one again in a graveyard. I’d be right where I was if I […]
I just took 15 ibuprofen . I did it because I want my parents to know I need help. I don’t want to die. I’m home alone should I call my dad to take me to the ER? PLEASE HELP I DONT WANT TO DIE 🙁
A few weeks ago me and my fiance were to pick my mom up for an appointment she had. I opened the door all I saw was her legs and pills everywhere. I ran to her screaming “MOM”. She could speak she threw up all over herself her eyes were red. She looked so hopeless! My fiance got on the phone called an ambulance they came and asked her what she took all she kept saying was ” 5 bottles”, all we saw was Percocets on the floor. After she was brought to the ER and was settled we went back to her place to […]
“I’m tempted to leave the car in drive, and leave it all behind.”
No more medication. I refuse to take another freaking pill. I am NOT going to take another pill. I’m so sick and tired of having to take medication everyday. Taking that pill is like pretending to be somebody I’m not, it makes me act happy and as if everything is okay. News flash, I’m not happy and nothing is okay. If I don’t want to be happy then get over it and let me just be miserable. If I’m going to be happy it’s not going to be because of some pill. It’s […]
Hi, this is my first post on SP. I don’t want to live in this hell anymore. I am a 40 year old man who has been battling addiction/depression for more than 20yr’s now. I have never been able to put more than 3 months of sobriety together in a row. My addiction/depression has progressed over the years and has left me with nothing but the cloths on my back and the contents of my backpack. I’ve been homeless for about 2 1/2 years now, some of it on the streets, the hospital or homeless shelters. I have made 5 suicide attempts in the last […]
Please log in to report posts