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everyone

With Your Beautiful Blue Eyes, Or Were They Green?

by Matt 2/16/2015

written by Matt

… I can’t remember them that clearly anymore.

It doesn’t mean I didn’t spend hours staring into them, but times makes all memories hazy, even the best of them.

I’d like to imagine those beautiful eyes filled with tears when you’d heard what I’d done. Maybe they would if you saw what I’ve done to myself.

The mutilation.

It was never because of you, it was in spite of you. And in truth, I got off on the pain.

Why do I torture myself and peek behind the curtain to the world you’re still in? The world that everyone is in, but I’m not anymore.

I walked out of that world, […]

2/16/2015 3 comments

scars

by maxwell 2/15/2015

written by maxwell

We all have our own stories some may be worse than others but Every scar that buries deep within my skin holds its own story, every one of them shows a victory, its showing that I have won yet another battle with life, so why hate me and judge me for what lies on my arm, you don’t judge a soldier for a battle wound or scars because he got that fighting a war for his life, I did the same thing I have won a war for my life and these are the wounds and scars that have been left behind for me to […]

2/15/2015 2 comments

do you think anyone actually cares

by stupidppl8 2/11/2015

written by stupidppl8

im debating whether or not to kill myself simply because i dont think anyone is there for me like im there for them and i just feel so alone. i dont know if im becoming depressed or not but everyone in my life is constantly making me feel like a sad story and that im not good enough and that i dont belong there . But judt to let you know i probably wouldnt kill myself beacause i dont have the guts to do it. id probably just try to pull the trigger and break down crying.

2/11/2015 7 comments

Nothing but confusion

by myownhero9422 2/11/2015

written by myownhero9422

To be completely honest, the thought of taking my own life is terrifying. I’ve thought of it a lot of times, but I can’t seem to find any other way out. I’m only 20 years old, for many life is just beginning, but for me it feels like there is nothing left ahead. I can’t continue in school, I can’t afford it even with scholarships and financial aid. I have other options but they all end in debt. My life at home is bad, my parents argue all the time. They never really listen to what I have to say. I get yelled at for […]

2/11/2015 1 comment

Bravery is different for us all…

by theforgottenfew 2/4/2015

written by theforgottenfew

“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.

But sometimes it doesn’t.

Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life.”
Veronica Roth, Insurgent #3

This passage resonates so deeply in me.

2/4/2015 15 comments

Three types of people

by theforgottenfew 2/4/2015

written by theforgottenfew

People can be narrowed into three simple categories just by watching the way they act and the things they do.
Category 1. The people who care, even if it’s not genuine concern these people still show some level of empathy for those around them.
Category 2. People who destroy, these people carelessly flit through their lives and the lives of everyone around them heedless of the consequences of their actions.
Category 3. The people who constantly fuck up despite whoever effort they put forth, these people try to be good friends, or try to be careless, but the continually feel like failures, like nothing they […]

2/4/2015 4 comments

Things I’ll Miss

by Matt 2/4/2015

written by Matt

1. My dog.

2. nothing else.

Things I won’t miss

1. Disappointing everyone

2. Putting everyone on edge.

3. Messing up on a daily basis

4. The friends I thought I had.

5. The fact that you moved on before you’d scrubbed my blood off of your doorstep.

6. That you told me to die because I said I loved you and I needed your help.

I am sorry if you thought I ever blamed you, I really didn’t and I still don’t. You never were the cause of my problems, but I tried to make you the solution. I hope you’re happy in everything you do. I hope you never tell your kids […]

2/4/2015 3 comments

Everyone is suicidal…everyone

by ofifoto 2/3/2015

written by ofifoto

I’m suicidal and have been for over 30 years, living one day at a time. That method of surviving has made life long and exhausting. I’m not suicidal because of some previous abuse (physical, sexual, etc.) or anything traumatic such as that. I’ve had a great life by most people’s standards. I just observed early in life as a shy, quiet, Asperger’s kid that there was not much to look forward to other than going through the same motions as everyone else–get educated, further that education, get some sort of job, advance in one’s career, make money, and pay bills–oh, and die. Sure there are […]

2/3/2015 3 comments

What I Said

by effystonem 2/2/2015

written by effystonem

And this is what she heard:

I am not afraid of death.

Fuck everything.

A suicide letter poem.

My therapist was my best friend for months.

What is death like?

Let’s run in circles forever.

I hate everyone.

——————————-

3 knocks.

No response.

She ran, for I was dead.

-effy stonem

2/2/2015 1 comment

I just need to do it

by TheRoadSoFar 2/2/2015

written by TheRoadSoFar

Don’t read this if you don’t want to. I don’t expect people to do it. I just need to summarize the past months to see where I fucked up once again.

I started highschool, alone, like always.
People came to me asking why was I alone and if I wanted to be with them.
I befriended them.
I started meeting more and more people. They all seemed really nice.
Probably I fell in love with someone.
All my friends are “divided” into 2 different groups.

Group 1.
-The girl I accidentally fell in love with even when I know I will never accomplish anything.
-The girl’s best […]

2/2/2015 2 comments

Who’s Worth Saving

by sleepisjustgivingin 2/1/2015

written by sleepisjustgivingin

Hello. I’m 23, a college student, and was just diagnosed back in September with an anxiety disorder and depression.

I don’t know who to blame. Or didn’t for a long time. I’ve dealt with what I suppose is considered self loathing since I was eight years old, and always assumed this was just a result of causality. I didn’t have many friends, my grades were shit, I often felt angry and isolated from people around me. I assumed that I hated myself for these reasons- because I was somebody worth hating. Because if I were somebody else, I’d probably hate me still. Now I don’t know.

I […]

2/1/2015 3 comments

can’t handle it anymore

by lissbabe 2/1/2015

written by lissbabe

I don’t wanna do this anymore I can’t handle it anymore everyone trying to change me into a person I don’t wanna be and it upsets me to be hating myself everyday. Everyone thinks yeah she’s happy she’s smiling but they never ask me if I’m alright or see if I’m upset, why are people judged on the outter look I hate it people thinking they know me and thinking it don’t upset when it does. I hate that people judge me through. I just feel like everyone is against me even though I know their not, I can’t do this anymore I just don’t […]

2/1/2015 1 comment

Versions

by melodymd 1/31/2015

written by melodymd

I have many secrets that I keep from everyone in my life. There is no one person who knows everything about me. Not even my family knows who I really am.

I don’t really like to have conversations with people, regardless of how close they supposedly are to me. I find it hard to have small talk, I usually don’t find anything interesting to talk about to them. I usually end up talking about myself, which I know comes off as being arrogant. When I do talk about myself, I end up talking about a version of myself that isn’t really true. I exaggerate and underplay […]

1/31/2015 1 comment

Knots

by falling_soup 1/27/2015

written by falling_soup

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA1Xvgauffc

Let me begin to say that my stomach is in knots. Just the thought of killing myself makes me want to throw up, yet all I think about is killing myself. The fact that I will never be happy and “normal” (if you must use that word) again frightens me. I want to get better so badly and yet I am still the same person who won’t ever do well in life, I am always going to be the person I have always been. A monster, a monster is the best way to put it because I scare everyone and my sadness and feelings I […]

1/27/2015 1 comment

Laugh

by Hey_Jude_You_Let_Me_Down 1/27/2015

written by Hey_Jude_You_Let_Me_Down

If I killed myself right now, everyone around me would laugh.

1/27/2015 3 comments

Counting Down The Days

by Matt 1/26/2015

written by Matt

A long time ago I used to count down the days until stupid things like when school would start again, or when I would finally move out of the house. Now that I’m a sort of adult those things are just ridiculous. I count down to something much more important. To the day that I will attempt suicide again and I will succeed. It’s scary that I’m writing this down publicly because it’s been a secret I’ve kept to myself for so long now. I’m not looking for a way out, I’m not looking to change my mind, I’ve tried all that and it’s exhausting, […]

1/26/2015 1 comment

Watching.

by WhereIsTheSilverLining 1/23/2015

written by WhereIsTheSilverLining

It was one of those nights where I was hanging with a large group of friends.

Even though I say friends, i just felt like an outsider looking in, I didnt have much input to give on their conversations. I just wound up sitting there thinking if i wasnt here it would make no difference. The group consisted of my roommates and some more friends ( we were at my house).

One of the friends is debating living with us next year so they spent the night entertaining everyone with stories. Everyone was so happy and lively. When i’m around i have never have good news or […]

1/23/2015 0 comment

Grey Area

by insignificantobserver 1/23/2015

written by insignificantobserver

It’s hard to remember that there is never truly a ‘right way’ of dealing with suicide, whether it’s you or a family member that has attempted. People will always get hurt, there will always be those feelings of shame, pointing fingers, those that will calls us melodramatic and say things that could tighten the noose a day sooner.
So knowing that, why not just buck up and take on that added shame when you reach out? I tell myself. Why am I so afraid of uttering my deepest secrets to the person that I’m expected to do that with?

Because the moment I do, he will […]

1/23/2015 4 comments

WHYYYYY I don’t know anymore.

by falling_soup 1/22/2015

written by falling_soup

why is that I am always that last kid to be picked for gym of for a group project the teacher has to put me into a group and everyone has to hate on me because they were happy with their friends before I showed up.. I am always such a burden to everyone. Even my mom says that I am a burden. So why am I still here if no one gives a damn about me? and being the last pick of the bunch or the “thing” that no one wants. I am the ugly duckling and no one really gives a damn. I […]

1/22/2015 6 comments

The world in what we live in now…

by Deleted.from.society 1/22/2015

written by Deleted.from.society

The world? Getting angrier. Society? Getting shittier. People taking their own lives? Is occurring more and more. And the bullies? They never stop. They continue to bring someone down to their death. Everyone asks me what I want in life… I just simply want to be happy and I want world peace. But the happiness? Can happen. But world peace…. never is going to happen.

1/22/2015 2 comments

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