Don’t read this if you don’t want to. I don’t expect people to do it. I just need to summarize the past months to see where I fucked up once again.
I started highschool, alone, like always.
People came to me asking why was I alone and if I wanted to be with them.
I befriended them.
I started meeting more and more people. They all seemed really nice.
Probably I fell in love with someone.
All my friends are “divided” into 2 different groups.
Group 1.
-The girl I accidentally fell in love with even when I know I will never accomplish anything.
-The girl’s best friend who leaves me aside when they 2 are together.
-The girl who doesn’t like me.
-The couple that forget everyone around them when they are together, and when they’re not they just don’t notice me at all.
-My first friend who is now socializing more with people from group number 2.
Group 2.
-In general, they all are guys who seem like brothers, supporting each other always and having a really nice time, but don’t seem to notice others much, or socialize more with others.
Where do I fit in here? I’ve tried but people always forget about me. I’m like “the guy who helps others when it comes to school-related things but gets thrown away at the first chance”. Why can’t I have true friends? Why is everyone just putting me aside like some old toy? Was it my fault? Is it maybe because of something I did? Why can’t I feel happy even though people say I have a wonderful life?
Am I destined to be alone? To feel empty? Am I being too dramatic? Am I exaggerating?
I just don’t know it anymore… I don’t want to sound like an attention whore, but I just don’t want to be a burden to anyone… I’ll leave if it helps. Everyone deserves to be fine… even if that means I must leave…
2 comments
I’ll read, glad to. You are important and need to be remembered by your friends. HS is a tough place- people take for granted others feelings. Sounds like this happens with you and your friends. I had only two friends in HS and I could tell you two things about each- that is about all. Crazy since I knew them for all of HS.
Reach out to your friends. Tell them you need them to remember you. I know that may be hard. But communication is important in any relationship. Maybe you could talk to a trusted teacher, to get their opinion and how you might communicate your needs to your friends.
You have needs and you have to speak up for those needs. If you sit back and hope your friends will just see what you need because you see theirs… you may be disappointed.
You have two groups to focus on. Now, try to relate to them in a little different way.
Best wishes!
I have friend issues no real friends feel left out and alone my own sister doesn’t want neither does my dad they want to send me to a program I have bad grades