why is that I am always that last kid to be picked for gym of for a group project the teacher has to put me into a group and everyone has to hate on me because they were happy with their friends before I showed up.. I am always such a burden to everyone. Even my mom says that I am a burden. So why am I still here if no one gives a damn about me? and being the last pick of the bunch or the “thing” that no one wants. I am the ugly duckling and no one really gives a damn. I mean its like I am always going to be alone and that’s that. I don’t understand why I am all alone and no one seems to notice my screams or my cries. I don’t want to be here any more and I am better off gone if I do say so myself. Cutting is one way of coping but I the fact of the matter is.. people don’t even care about my mental health and I could have a whole arm covered with cuts and no one would seem to notice? I mean even if they did they would just want to chain me to a hospital bed and make me feel even worse about myself and tell me that I am no good or that “rotten thing” that always is bringing things down. I mean I am pretty much trying to fight the urges and the sadness all on my own because when I do try and speak up for myself? no one believes me! It’s like I am a attention seeker and that I am perfectly fine. well let me be clear I WANT TO DIE, can’t anyone see that? I mean I have tried and tried to be someone I am not to please others but what good does that do? I mean people don’t see me. NO ONE sees me with the pain and suffering that I have to carry with me every day. So tell me what is the point of me being here when no one will ever see that I just want to be normal and that I have a battle that apparently no one knows nothing about. I really don’t know anymore what to do or how to find my way around. I am stuck in this rut and I am left to hang dry. Well my mom says that I have it better then nine tenths of the world and that I should be lucky to have a mom like her. I am being verbally abused by her with the blaming that I tire her out and that I am this monster of a daughter. If everyone views me as a bother and someone that they don’t want to be around? then why am I still here……
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Why do you give other people control over you? 70% of your post was about how you can’t please people, as though that’s your duty in this world. Are you dedicating your life to earning the paltry attention of others?
And hello again. I see the soup is still falling.
Oh no I definitely understand.. I have a lot of the same thing going on and for some reason yes It DOES matter! But your young yet.. God knows what you COULD become.. What lies ahead.. I’ve seen people change over a summer.. Come back to school and knock people’s socks off!! But, it really does only take you so far.. I can tell you that!! I’ve been the ugly duckling and I’ve been the swan! It’s what you allow in!! Do you know that one day.. Very soon.. (life goes fast sweetie) those that hurt you will be hurting.. Karma.. God.. Angels.. Whatever it is.. Basically what goes around eventually comes around.. Just REMEMBER THAT!!
Don’t give up until you’re at least out of high school. Your field of vision is really narrow right now and you feel hopeless. Life gets better after high school. I promise! I even liked high school (even though I didn’t have friends, it was a simple life!).
i agree with Scar504, everytime that happens just tell them: “yano wat? it wasnt my fault i was chosen for this specific thing and i didnt chose to be brought into this world and if you hate it so much then you and go complain to ur parents, not that there gonna give a damn, AND if you jest want me to rot and die then ill be laughing at u in heaven will watching you burn in HELL.” and continue on. Don’t hate yourself just be on top of others and back yourself up when someone craps on you.
“I mean I have tried and tried to be someone I am not to please others but what good does that do?”
It does no good at all, so be yourself.