This is my way to say goodbye to the ones I couldn’t reach. Sorry I couldn’t be helped out of this and not because you guys didn’t try. Thanks for everything.
Tag:
everything
everything is crumbling beneath me, i’ve lost two jobs. me and my dad are getting evicted, and we have to move out by the 28th and we still haven’t found a house to live in. i wrecked my car the other day and the whole right side is totaled, then i found out, my windshield is cracked and now my battery is dead so we have to buy a new one. i’m sick of everything. and i’ve had close calls with attempting suicide again like one time, i was driving down the road and i was speeding and i almost just threw my car off […]
The king is dead
Once apon a time, he walked the streets a king
Happy,proud
safe and sound
Life was a joy
His home was his heart
He loved so much
No hatred in his thoughts
He was happy in his home
He was living his dream
Now life’s got him down
Chained through his knees
No turning back
He’s to tied to this place
Stuck
Roaming the same streets
No crown on his head;
The king is dead
Responsibilities like cement to his back
Never ending nights and no one’s up late
The world he once loved
Have turned him it’s back
The days are the same
Through his […]
I want to disappear but the only thing that stops me from doing it is my love from my family and friends because i don’t want to see them crying because of me.
I almost got what i want(nice circle of friends, loving family, money) but still, i want to disappear. I commit suicide once and that’s the dumbest thing i ever did because all of us have our time but me, i’m rushing it.
When i’m alone, i want to commit suicide. But the things that are always sinking in my mind are “How about your family? How about your friends? Are you crazy?” Yes i […]
I don’t know what i’m doing, i’m trying to find reasons not to die but its becoming exceedingly difficult each day. I don’t feel i’m worth anything to anyone, i know i’m not. I don’t make attachments or really feel anything towards anyone, but there is always this one person it all goes into. Every time i love i’m brought to a grinding halt, reminded why i shouldn’t go there.
I really wish i knew what the point to all this is, everything is just pointless bullshit. What’s the point of living when you’re brain dead? when nothing makes you happy, sad or excited?
I’m trying to […]
Why does this happen to me? Why does this happen to us. I’m tired of the scars uprising, but I cant seem to hide. Love ain’t the answer. Death won’t pick up the phone when I call and all I ask is why me? Do people really care or is it all a show we are supposed to give into? My souls been annihilated & death still won’t take me… Where did I go wrong? Was being born not supposed to be? Is this punishment for my parents mistake? I don’t fucking get it one bit. They gone and everything in my life is gone […]
I just mess everything up for myself, I don’t know why I cant just make the right choices for once in my life. I’m clinging on to an ex, hooking up telling him I love him still that I want him to be happy even if it isn’t with me. But I havent let go I can’t and I don’t understand why he won’t let go either. I over think it and wonder if maybe because this time I’m suppose to be strong enough on my own to let go. But I can’t just thinking about it rips me up from the inside out. But […]
For 5 years I’ve been depressed. That’s a long time. And thinking that it’s all over and I’m finally feeling better about everything in life is only a joke. My 18th birthday comes and no one in my family remembers. I blow out the candles alone and make my wish. Then just one day later, my parents tell me they are divorcing.. constant yelling and screaming. All I can do is collapse on the ground in tears. I’m completely alone now. My parents arnt there. My family is broken. My depression is back. I struggle to hold back anger. Anger at myself. Anger at God […]
“I guess everything happens for a reason. With love, goodbye.” These are the last lines found in the suicide note of my close friend Melissa Cameron who died nearly five years ago. Melissa and I were close friends in high school with a common struggle, we both suffered with extreme depression and thoughts of suicide, and although our friendship was originally formed on much lighter principals, it quickly turned into a relationship based on secrecy and what we considered to be “support.” Due to our suicidal tendencies, sharing ideas on different ways to kill ourselves became normal conversation, and we eventually made an agreement that […]
How come when I set the goal to kill myself and begin working towards it I have this feeling of drive and passion, but when I set any other goal and work towards it, it feels like a waste of time.
I’ve begun taking inventory of everything I own. I’m building a simple website to list everything so I can sell it. The idea is instead of placing a million classified ads, I just post a few and link back to my site for a complete list of what’s for sale. The money earned should help me correct my finances. I don’t want to leave any […]
Not really in the mood to delve in the whys and where-to’s. About a month ago, now, I decided that perhaps it would be best to end my life. I’m setting into motion what I feel should be done before I leave, and it will take me a while. I have a lot of student loans, and if I die, I’m sure the burden may go to my family. I still need to find out how true this is. I also would like to help my mother pay for her house and get it together; she needs a few new appliances and perhaps I can […]
Hello!
I think you guys deserve an update on how I am. 🙂
Also, how are you guys? I haven’t talked to you in a bit. So yeah please do tell me how you are.
If you know about my little technology problem, (I got locked out of my iPad with no back up, no previously synced computer, and practically no way getting access to my iPad without wiping everything) it is okay now. I wiped my things. I just did it. And I only deleted like 80 pictures, 2 notes, 3 videos, and that’s it. 😀 I got my music back and my apps, […]
I hate how awful my brother makes me feel. I hate how I have to smile for my mom. I hate how my brother is like my mom and gets easily mad. I hate how I do the same to my little brother and have to try to stop myself. I hate how I do the same things all day. I hate when it’s my mom’s off days because she is always watching to make sure I act happy. I hate how my mom hates the real me. I hate how she loves this mask, this facade. I hate how even on here I’m just […]
I am brand new to this site. Brand new. This is my first post.
Happened to stumble across seppuku’s comment about being the golden child. I can relate, too. Growing up, I was successful at everything I tried. Now, I am worthless in the eyes of my parents and older siblings.
I am almost 34. I am female. Married. Clinical Depression. Tried ECT. Tried everything it would seem. The only thing that worked for me was 425mg of Effexor combined with the lowest dose of methylphenidate (a form of ritalin), but then the night terrors started where I would put out three changes of clothes a night, […]
There are times in my life where I don’t feel like the girl I normally am. Normally I feel strong, happy and just filled with life. Other times I feel like I am not even real. I feel as though I’m lost, scared and worthless. I have these times at least two or three times a year. I keep everything that upsets me in a box in the back of my mind and never tell anyone. I always feel as though I’m not allowed to share my sad thoughts with others because I shouldn’t have them and people would tell me to stop complaining because […]
I like this guy. He broke up with his girlfriend for me and for some other reasons. Their relationship had gone on for roughly 18 months. See just last night I thought, you know I’ll be honest with her, so I told her that I liked him and that I was so sorry. We had a row. I’d just like to point out me and this girl were close. I hate myself. I fucked up a relationship, a friendship and everything happy in my life. I don’t deserve to be happy because this girl loves this guy. But he likes me and I like him.
This […]
My first time on here so please bare w me. I’m 36, was married at 23 to an emotionally abusive man. After many years of medications, therapy, hospitalization, failed suicide attempt, family pissed, lost most friends, finally left him, was happier than I’d ever been in my life….. Was fine being alone…. Friends came back into my life… Wasn’t looking for anything, enjoying new found freedom…. And then, my dearest friend since I was 18 suddenly back in my life, he saw change in me, gave him hope to get out of equally horrible marriage, we grew much closer and evolved into romantic relationship. […]
Why do I remember still? Why can’t I forget? And why do they keep reminding me how useless I am???… I just want to escape everything… be happy and free for once… I don’t care if I fall asleep and never wake up again… in fact, I welcome that..
My story is different. I never thought I would end up here, but here I am, struggling with everything. I can’t remember the last time I was happy.
In the spring of 2012, I met my best friend. Let’s call her Anna. She was pregnant and we instantly began doing everything together. My boyfriend and his best friend and me and Anna would do everything together. She had her son in August and everything changed after that. She was always a mild person. Never got into any trouble. From September 2012-June 2013, the four of us got into all kinds of things we shouldn’t have. Drugs, […]
I found the only thing stronger than grief, pain, and despair its name is what we call fear
On the 31 of july i woke up whit just one thougth on my head the thougth of dying i planned everything that very morning, yeah i even wrote here i just needed to talk myself off before well you know crossing over, im not a writer so im going to say the things as they happened and everything i felt on my self frustrated “try”
I phone called my gradfather in order to check if he was going to be in home (nobody suspect my condition, yeah im […]