I panic so much because of how I feel inside. My girlfriend wants me to get better but I cant right now. I know I should be happy with where I am in my life but everything that’s going on in my mind won’t let me.
I want her to get mad at me and tell me im wrong for not wanting to be here because if i leave this world ill be leaving her behind. one of my only reasons for being here is her because she wants me to. if she told me to kill myself tonight i would think about it for two […]
Tomorrow is the day my sister died exactly one year ago.. She was the fourth death I’ve suffered in 3 years now. The first one was somebody I loved a lot, Emily. She died to a car accident. Then my grandmother died to cancer.. Then my Father drank himself to death. Finally, my sister hung herself. I just.. don’t know anymore. Every day I wake up, sit in bed and just stare at the wall. My family is entirely unsupportive about everything, now. Every day of my life I get told, “You don’t deserve to be sad” or “You have no reason to be sad.” […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m lost and no ones helping me find my way. I’ve fallen out major with the person who saved me, I want to talk to him but he’s deleted me from everything except my number. Seeing him happy without me at school breaks my heart because I’m not happy without him. I miss him so much. Makes it worse when I’ve got to spend a week with him in Poland with my school. It’s going to be so awkward.
I’m even making myself go deaf by how loud my music is when I have my earphones. I like to […]
when people say stay strong things will get better i promise.. it never turns out to be like that in my case i get over everything. and it comes back cuz of something else happened to top that problem..
feeling like shit and nothing going right in your life. called whore by your dad and telling him to pack your things cuz she dont want you living with him anymore. then moving in with my mom everything starts getting better then BAMM you get raped by your step dad then end up getting a bf that same night and scared your gonna lose him your […]
im actually so sick and tired of the problems i have with my boyfriend. All he seems to do is blame me for everything but i honestly cant see what i have been doing wrong. Then he just chooses to ignore me instead of actually telling me what i have done wrong. We havent seen eachother in 3 weeks because he is always ‘busy’, but hopefully i should be seeing him this weekend but im really doubting that. I really don’t know what i should do? Any suggestions?
I distract myself, i try to move away from everything but in those moments when ii dont get sleep and all i can think about is everything, that loneliness, the complete sense of failure within me and i realize that if this is life now, the future will not be any better. I’m looking for a way to end this existence because i cant continue any longer..
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This is what I read upon arrival. Is this a joke? Don’t post hateful things? THATS WHAT SUICIDAL PEOPLE DO! It’s MY life and I hate it and everything it stands for and everything it might stand for because others always think they have the right to tell me what to do then they turn and hightail it through their brainwashed cerebral psyche feeling proud that they stuck their nose into my business then run me up the […]
Im living this life that isnt even mine. I dont know what im living for anymore..I was once a happy little girl but everything chance for me im not the same person anymore….how do I get my life back?
You see that girl? She looks so happy, right? Telling jokes, smiling, having a great time and… Dying inside. She’s hurt, And tired. Tired of the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn’t want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything’s perfect but cries at night. So everyone thinks that she’s a happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is perfect. If only they knew the trust…  :’(
I can’t do this anymore, I really can’t…
I wish I […]
You say you understand but do you, do you feel the razor inside you?
Feel the demons around your head floating, finding every little thing you cant do, everything wrong with you,
Do you?
You see it’s like the disease is haunting me over and over and over, every day of my life i cant even have a good time.
But you understand.
Don’t you?
Hi, I just want to rant here. I am 22 and already tired of life. I have been without friends for a long time. Last time I have some friends in doing things is in my junior high school. I have been told to do everything by myself because that is what adults do: doing everything independently. I have a good role model for that: my mother. She is very reliable and can do everything by herself. I too want to be like her. I have been trying to live on without a friend since junior high. It’s scary and tiring to do everything alone. […]
all my life I have been the freak, the weird one, the one nobody wanted to be friends with. people would look at me and laugh, call me ugly make me feel uselss. fat ugly weird scary whore slut emo, were only some of the names….
grade 2 was when it started. I never realy knew what it was, and I thought it was all a joke, I dident really care, cuz hey I was young. grade 4 was when it hit me, this is bullying. I never wanted to tell anyone because I was scared it would make it worse. the names that I was called […]
I started cutting myself when I was 11 years old, after my best friend die from cancer. My mom was everything to me, when she left I felt like there was no point in being happy when the person you love is gone now. With my mom I feel like im nothing with out her she was my everything. People ask how im doing all I have to do is put a FAKE SMILE on so that they dontsee right through me. WHAT IS LIFE ABOUT ANYMORE!!
So I did my GCSE mock exams and just got my results back… I got D’s in everything but English where I got an A… My mum, she told me that I tried my best and that’s all that matters, and that’s she’s proud I got an A, but my dad wasn’t so easy to please… He just kept telling me I should have straight A’s in all my subjects and that if I don’t get them he’ll disown me, and then slapped me.. Me being me I didnt know what to do, at first it was just crying but then I started cutting… I […]
Who honestly gets into a fight over a bag of fucking chips? Me and my family do. I have been living back with my family because I have a medical condition and can no longer work. No work equals no money to pay for my old apartment. After finally earning some money for myself from working the odd nights at my friends hall, all I wanted to do was enjoy a bag of chips that i finally bought with my own money. I bought other foods for everyone else and all I wanted was to have this to myself. Stupid isn’t it?
I go to grab […]
I have fucking everything
I wear namebrand makeup
guys who wanna talk to me
decent car,money,looks,young big boobs pathetic ass *****
So many things have changed. My best friend/cousin is dead. My relationship is deteriorating. Every night it’s the same. I think of her and how I wish she was still alive and how I want to be dead. It should have been me instead of her. Everything right now is such a mess. School. Friends. My relationship. I don’t eat right. All I have been thinking about is death. It’s been a year now with these thoughts. Maybe more time. My daydreams are about suicide, how I’d do it and when..
Things have changed for the better, I can’t believe that things really do “get better”. That saying has always been bs to me, I never believed that things could just one day be better and the suicidal feelings would fade. Ever since having a mental breakdown and coming so close to suicide, my eyes have opened. It’s barely been a week and things are a whole lot clearer. Things only begin to change when you realize they can. I know most of the time it feels like everything bad possible just happens to us, but most of the time it’s the way we handle the […]
I am sort of in a conundrum and I would like advice.
I guess I’ll start at the beginning. I am in a group of friends that are all dating(or at least have someone), and they were trying to set me up with people. They think that me getting a boyfriend would somehow cure my depression. Well I got set up with this guy. He is a lot like me, he is battling depression and is super awkward.
But I don’t know honestly. I don’t know if I am pretending to like him just for my friends sake, or maybe I’m just overthinking everything. But […]
I know it is selfish for me to be jealous of my family and friends that are dating their boyfriends or girlfriends. I just can’t help it. Ever since I fell for you and you decided to rip my heart out I just can’t stand seeing others happy. I mean sure I am really happy for them because I care about them, but I just don’t understand why I’m not happy like them. They have everything going for them and a man or lady on there side. Oh man, how I wish to kiss a boy. I haven’t in so long. I just want to […]
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