I know from experience what getting close to that moment is. I know it emotionally and physically. I have the means. I’ve just got some family matters to sort out and then there’s nothing standing in my way. It’s liberating, THAT moment.
Tag:
experience
Short one.
About 4 days ago I ate 20 castor seeds. I kept them down for about an hour to two hours so they should have been fully dissolved. I peuked and had bad diarreah for about a day then the throwing up went away. The liquid poops I still have. And I havent had a solid one since. I know that its supposed to take a few days but it seems like its not going to work. Any body have any experience trying with ricin/castor seeds?
The stomach doesnt dissolve it as were in another form. We dont have to go into that though because of […]
I have two questions regard death by hanging, suspension , without breaking of the neck. The first question is will you feel anything after losing consciousness ? I know the feeling of lungs heaving must be painful but I want to know if someone would experience it at all, since after 10 seconds or so the person would be passed out. Is it a painful experience? The second question is how loud is the sound of someone suffocating during suspension hanging?? Is it possible for someone to hear, gagging, choking, or lungs heaving while passing? If so from how far away? through a wall? More […]
In March 2014, I was sent to the mental ward for suicidal thoughts. Here is my experience.
One day, I had an appointment with my doctor, during which we discussed my depression. He asked me if I ever attempted suicide. I said yes, and told him about the previous day, when I had tried to hang myself but was interrupted by my dad. My doctor told me to promise not to try again. My response was, “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” With that, he walked out the room without a word. He was gone for a long time-at least half an hour. Suddenly, the […]
Suicidal thoughts don’t make you a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed. These thoughts occur to when our pain is greater than we can cope with. Will power has nothing to do with it. If we could cheer ourselves up, we would. We all experience different kinds of pain and we all have different limits. If you ever feel like giving up, just know that you are not alone. There are many of us feeling the same way. But don’t give in, talk to someone first. Talk to a friend, a stranger, talk to me..
I’m not suicidal. In fact, I found this website by accident. I had no idea that people even contemplate suicide and it’s very hard for me to understand. No horrific event has happened to me, I went to a £15000 ($23000) private school in London and it’s because of my closed life that only recently that I’ve even reali(s/z)ed that so many people had such difficult and heart-breaking emotions.
Many problems may be hard to fix but could someone (preferably with experience) explain to me why anyone would ever feel it necessary to end their life.
I don’t have an NDE (near death experience) story to share. But I’m wondering if anyone has one to share. Did you survive a suicide attempt, and have an NDE? Tell me about it. I’d like to hear your story. Bright lights, did you go to heaven, or hell???? Tell me about your NDE!
In everybody’s life there are ups and downs, but it seems like in my life there are ups and downs and downs and some more downs. And that goes for each and every day. I can’t stand it. This thing is driving me crazy. Correction – driving me to the edge of fucking putting a bullet through my freaking skull, because crazy I already am.
I’m on the verge of knocking myself out, hopefully with enough pills this time.
There is a part of me that do wants to live, to experience whatever may, but that part is very small. The other part, the dominent part, say […]
It’s a smile, a laugh, an ejaculation. Whatever it may be for you, the combination of neurotransmitters causing it will return to baseline and you will be sober, normal again, slowly but surely and without fail. The only rational way to preserve your sanity is to be 100% content with normal, sober existence which is unspeakably difficult for innumerable reasons that are beyond our control a huge majority of the time. You’re not 5 years old, I’m not going to go into why.
My innermost desire is to be at the very peak of pure, unadulterated happiness a human can experience and get beheaded right then. […]
Life is a depressing experience. Each day at college, I feel like I’m being forced against my will to conform to society. I’m only going to college because it’s either that, work for no reason, or suicide (such great choices). Seriously, there is no reason for me to work because I don’t want life. I’ve thought I might want a boyfriend, but I’ve never had one, and why bother? Relationships never last, and I’ve been told that I’m too sick to have one (so I guess I’m also unworthy of love). I don’t look forward to anything after college, or life in general. To be […]
I don’t know how much longer I can live.
I’ll give you all a final update when I end it.
All I can say is thank you to everyone on this site for an amazing experience.
.Im hoping to find some like minded people (just one person will be Enough)…who DONT think that suicide is wrong and who, like me, feel it can possibly be a very compassionate act to relieve a painful OR Unsatisfying Life. I want to go for reasons I can explain later but I havnt worked out all the details yet. So its not an exact immediate thing and fortunately Im not so miserable YET as to do ANYTHING to leave. If this resonates with anyone , I would very much appreciate speaking to someone like minded. I dont feel afraid at all of the […]
I want to know what you really would like to see from people who are supporting you?
I see these ads for a self-help depression website on TV and online a lot. It’s depression.org.nz and it’s for New Zealanders (though I’d imagine others can access it). Heaps of the media messages have been about getting out there and telling people, family and friends, about how you are feeling. However no mass-media campaign in NZ has yet to inform people specifically how they can help.
Since I started talking about my experience, I’ve had mixed reactions to my struggles ranging from “Oh that sounds hard” to “Don’t worry, sometimes […]
It’s too late for me I’m already damaged goods. I’m nothing but a concoction of regrets and despair. My insides are full of darkness. Wallowing in despair plotting my own demise smiling is my best disguise. People keep telling me to “keep pushing it gets better” and when it doesn’t they say it again but they never really mean. I ask them “what for?” and they tell me “because that’s just how life is. Well I don’t enjoy “life” and I never really have. Disappointment after disappointment embarrassing moments always feeling uncomfortable. I guess thats just how it is when you’re a foster child, constantly […]
Be carful of your own mind,it may not seem like it but u could be in denial,its a tricky thing really there isnt many ways to tell if your lying to yourself.well I can give you one way to absolutely tell if your in denial about something.Look for the tick.that split second feeling of unsure and insecure.that one off moment.if u pay attention you’ll realize just how big of a lie you’ve told yourself.I talk from experience it works but only if you have sharp senses about what goes on in your mind.A tip so u dont have to be like the rest of the […]
I don’t have a set date, but I finally have all the material needed to carry it out. I’d dare say that I’m actually excited about it; it’s like I’m planning for a vacation that I won’t come back from, nor would I want to. As of lately, I’ve thought more of the proper location for this event. Apparently, there are quite a number of choices, but I thought somewhere out in nature would be nice. Typically, in my previous experience, when I discuss suicide among those who are also contemplating it, it seems to be mostly born from a feeling of dread and doom, […]
So it’s been a while since I last posted anything. I feel like I’m getting worse as the day passes by, voices are still telling me to give up and die. Last night I broke my chain of self harming. The last time I self harmed was a couple of months and that’s all I think about now, all I want to do is die, why can’t I be happy as I use to. There ain’t many issues happening in my life but I still experience a psychological war against myself. I just need out.
I found this site by simply typing “I can’t do this anymore”, into Google. I do that often because I’m experienced enough in my roller coaster of depression to know that nobody wants to hear it, it makes them uncomfortable.
I’m a 23 year old female. I can’t remember a time in my life where I didn’t experience extreme sadness. It peaked when I was 14, lasted until around 17. A therapist once told me she thought I might be bipolar. But I was never truthful with her. I wasn’t truthful at the crisis centers I was in and out of either. I diagnoised myself with […]
pues no se porque estoy escribiendo esto. casi cinco anos de depresion y todavia tengo sentimientos oscuros. ya tengo experiencia con “therapy” y mas de dos meses en un hospital…pero nunca de esa me ayudara. pienso que nunca va a ayudarme y es dificil despertar en la manana sabiendo que esta es mi vida ahora.
I don’t know why im writing this. nearly 5 years of depression and still i have dark feelings. ive already had experience with therapy and more than 2 months in a hospital…but none of this helped me. I think that nothing is going to help me and its hard to […]
I actually reached out tonight to the National Suicide Prevention chat online. I’m still on it in another window. It’s a little comforting so far. My urges to end my life aren’t so overwhelming now. Has anyone else had experience with them? I was actually kind of afraid that they would dispatch cops or someone to come take me to a hospital. It sounds absurd, but I’ve heard of it happening before.