I’m thinkin about to tell my family that I’m goin through wit this. If they don’t like oh well.
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family
Hi, I’m new here. I suppose I’ll start with a brief reflection of my life. I apologize if my sentences are extremely scattered. Currently, I’m 24 and a bi-curious/bisexual male. However, being a closeted bi is the least of my problems… My problems started long before everything hit the fan. I was born a little over 1-pound and close to the end of the 2nd trimester. I had brain trauma from the birth itself which caused the doctors to never think I’ll walk or talk. Almost a quarter of a century later, I definitely defied their expectations. Yet in the eyes’ of “normal” society, I […]
Follow up from my last post where I admitted to my sister I needed mental help. Usually admitting you need help is a great first step to getting better. I guess that all really depends on who you admit it to, though, and I made a huge mistake in my choice apparently.
Before I got to bad depressed, I use to write video game storylines. I’d like to share one with you called Hopeless
by wndozh8er
written by wndozh8er
I guess I’ll call the genre a Nihilistic Psychological/Survival Horror game. My goal was to create the darkest, scariest, most depressing and psychologically disturbing game ever conceived. Also the game will monitor your heart rate so when it goes up to much…you die. I got the game story achieved on Microsoft word on but it’s on my PC. I’ll write from memory.
You wake up as a naked female (or male) in a dirty bed and room with your memory erased. There is notes in the first room giving you directions on what to do to escape. There is also pictures of you and your family. […]
My life starts with my mom who we will call “B”. I was sort of a mistake I guess you could call it. My dad was one of those people you’d only have a one night stand. Stuff happened and I was born. He missed my birth, him being in the military and all, but was able to come about 2 hours after my birth (His unit hadn’t left yet).
Half the reason I stick around anywhere is because I have nowhere else to go
if it was so easy to walk out on my job and my friends and family, I would step right into a new life. But there’s nothing else out there for me.
There’s nowhere left to turn
When my family tells me to stand up for myself and when I do they tell me that I’m not choosing the right path. I swear these people can’t make up their mind. It’s my life and my choices. I am the one who has to live with them. I’m 18 years old and in college for heaven sakes -_- . I can make my own choices and do what the hell I feel like. Jesus. I’m so ready to get out of this fucking house. They think I won’t leave. Smh. The stress I’m in I’ll pack my shit and leave tonight..
I don’t […]
I am so depressed. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want my sister to die, she has terminal cancer. and she can’t be treated where I live ( Jordan ) And I dont have the money to send her outside for treatment. I tried asking people, the government, i made a campaign to raise money I tried everything nobody want’s to help me, I am so depressed I can’t even go to work. I live in the UAE and work here, what kills me is that I am not there with her and she is in so much pain. she is so depressed […]
I’m sick and tired of fighting for something that’s never going to happen. My body can’t take it anymore. Ughhh.
My sister tells me she is scared that I’m going to kill my self. Maybe I should. Then my family doesn’t have to worry about me anymore.
I want to die. I just dont know how ! I cant live anymore, my father passed away and now my only sister is dying of cancer I have no family left. How can I possibly end my life in the easier most painless way possible ?
Still feeling sick. Sick like slow, tired, dizzy, nauseous… This awful headache. No appetite. Intense amounts of sleep. Going through benzo withdrawal as an unintended side effect of overdosing and the hospital prescribed hydroxyzine to help with anxiety and withdrawal symptoms. The hydroxyzine makes me tired and blank cognitively but I kind of like it because it’s better than being alone with my thoughts.
I haven’t told my family anything. We are the type of family where this sort of thing is swept under the rug and considered a weakness. I had my friend check me out of the hospital which I know was […]
The guy I like asked me to be his.
I said yes.
I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into though.
What if hes like most other guys? If he doesn’t really like me and just wants a fling?
Ill just end up hurt in the end, but for now hes making me smile even when I’m in the worst of moods.
I was with him yesterday. I saw scars on his arms. I wasn’t going to mention it to him, that would be insensitive of me, but maybe if he sees my scars he will understand? I’m not openly going to show him though, I don’t know if I […]
I have this major fear of losing people. i have lost a lot of people in my life, including basically every family member. i have a small group of close friends and im scared that one day i might lose them. they are all i have. we have graduated from high school and we are all doing our own things, some are in college and some are in the armed forces, we dont live near each other any more. we all live in different places because of college and the armed forces and i am terrified that i will lose them! i cant lose them! […]
Where do i start, my life has not been the easiest in terms of growing up. I’ve had problems from all fronts from varying categories. This list of problems I manage to put off everyday, just trying to ignore this world on my shoulders as I go to school and pretend to be happy with people I pretend to be friends with. My life in public is but a mask to hide my face covered in years of abuse and hardships. This list manages to grow with my best efforts of keeping the problems down, and it seems with every jab at the list that […]
I’m a loving husband and father. After taking an a antidepressant and subsequently stopping it a matter of weeks later I developed a rare physical condition for which prognosis is dubious and treatment is extremely painful. It has interfered with EVERY aspect of my life and is debilitating both physically and mentally.
I was negligently put on a benzodiazepine which I’m trying to taper off and is proving difficult, it’s destroyed my health. I have fought this for over a year via physical therapy and various different forms of medication. I look and feel awful, I have had to move in with my parents and can […]
Growing up i had a really rough life. i was never happy, even as a kid. i have thought about killing myself before, many times actually, and i have tried once before but i stopped myself. I try to stay happy but it is really hard for me. i have been through a lot. my family has put me through a lot, my old friends have put me through a lot. i am trying so hard to be happy. i am 18 years old and i feel so broken and destroyed. my family has destroyed me. i break down everyday and i just find it […]
I am so disgusting. I hate the way I look. I will never be happy. I’ve never been happy. I just want to die. It’s not even about me escaping my pain. It’s more about saving other people from having to tolerate me being around. Friends abandon me, relationships fail. My family are oblivious. I mean nothing in this world, so why can’t I just die? I’ve tried so many many times to end it, and it never works. I don’t want help. I just want to go.
Why?
Why am I so unhappy?
Why can’t I appreciate what I have right now?
My dad still gambles. My brother still has a “don’t care” attitude. My mom is still always stressed. But my family isn’t what upsets me anymore. I’ve given up on getting better with my family. My school is the issue. I have friends and they’re amazing people, but for some odd reason I feel like crap. Is it because I can’t trust them? Is it just me that’s being bratty? The school I go to is a good school. Nice people, good education, pretty decent teachers. But I hate it. […]
So I haven’t been updating recently and a lot has happened in my life, so I decided that I needed to somehow let it all out and share with you guys. DISCLAIMER: It will be long …
So idk if I told you but my cousin moved back to my city (he used to live in Chicago) and he’s currently training to be a police man, but something that has been bothering me since he got here.. First of all, he doesn’t live with us, he lives with his other grandma. Second of all, my mom and grandma spend every single night during the week making […]