ok so about 9 months ago i started dating this guy named mike and we would last 3-4 months break up and get back together about 3 months ago we broke up and hardly talked for thoes three months but then about 2 weeks ago i started talking more to his sister cause shes pretty cool and then i startd talking to him again because this whole time we have been broken up hes all i can think about… well we made plans that after i worked saturday i would get picked up and go to mikes sisters house, kim, but then friday mike was […]
tust thinking… Yesterday I had a big conversation with two friends about all what’s going on in my life. It really felt so comforting to talk honestly about my feelings. And I thought about coming out to them, but I just couldn’t.
They’re two of my newest friends. In fact, I still find hard to call them friends, not because of how I feel to them, but because I think they may not see me as one. But they act like really good friends, so maybe I should just stop over thinking things.
It should be easy. They’re open-minded people, I’m too. My old friends know it. […]
I’ve been doing pretty good with handling my emotions lately, that was until yesterday. I could feel the depression slowly start to smother me again in it’s natural repetitious state. I managed to get through work with only one break down. I work with a bunch of men (being one myself) so I’m always having to mask my emotions and depression at work. Sometimes it’s easy, and other times it’s really hard to do. I mask my depression and emotions at work because I don’t think they would understand, and I don’t want people to either feel sorry for me, think of me differently and […]
basically my life is hopeless no matter any situation, I’m always the one in the back corner by myself. I don’t want to live, I’ve been on and off suicidal for 2 years now, not one person in my family knows I am suicidal, and that I tied a noose and put it around my neck ready to jump one night. No one knows. Even in this moment I type, I want to stab myself in the throat every waking moment.
I just wanted to tell someone finally. Get it out after so long.
“I’m not depressed and I’m not unhappy, because I believe that happiness is not a destination to reach and set up camp at, it’s a place you visit every once in a while when the stars are aligned just right or something along those lines.”
This was sent to me by someone in an E-mail a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking. I (like many other people here, I’m sure) have not been happy in many years and I wonder if constant, true happiness is common even for those who possess all of the things many of us relate to happiness – money, […]
I have been visiting this site for a couple months now, never registering and just using it as a tool to feel relatable to someone..anyone anymore. Though I didn’t post, I came to know a lot of the regulars through their posts and took solace vicariously, as the problems others listed with depression mimicked mine. Anyway…
The depression I’ve spun into has become worse. I had a long term relationship (7 years) end and a lot of it was my fault. I had everything I wanted once and I squandered it. To make matters worse, booze and drugs had become my outlet to cope. This would […]
I’m 21 and I’m already tired of this life. I don’t want to die..just want to disappear. I’m ready to give up everything I have, just to be in a better place. I started self harming last year. All these years, I was trying to be strong and pretending that I was normal after every shit that I’ve been through. Lying is more of a habit because nobody really wants to listen to your shit. Family still thinks that I’m fine and I’m scared to ask for help.
Day by day, I’m losing my sanity, cuts are getting more deeper and memories are fading.
Sometimes […]
It all started on111914 when I fell inlove with my boyfriend he was eveythinng I wanted a swimmer soccer play and a good looking guy he was so sweet and caring. This past friday he had a big swim meet I was so proud of him. After we hung at his house and got icecream we go in a fight and he broke up with me I was a reck. The next night I find my self taking 12 pills and my family yelling and me. The next morming I think I will never kiss him or hear his voice or anything again. So now […]
Ever since I was born, I have always been a shy person. I would try to ignore my own feelings to help others. In fact, I was forced to at such a young age since my friends were all a few months younger than me. Therefore, since I was the eldest, I was the one who got reprimanded and to my young mind, did everything wrong. This idea was reinforced by my mother shouting at both me and my dad a lot. My dad and her yelled at each other every night. They tried to hide it from me, but I was a poor sleeper. […]
I’ve been thinking alot lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that life is a waste. I kinda just want to disappear. Crumble away and let a primordial wind blow away my remains. I don’t have anyone to talk to. My “friends” only show up when they need stuff so I’ve distanced myself from them. I don’t have family. I might as well be an orphan, they let me drift around aimlessly and treat me like scum. I was a good child. Great grades. Nice job. Almost finish with college. But I guess all they see is someone to benefit from. As for love, I […]
I tired of life of my family and I have no one they are never there for me and I’m sick of it I’m always confused and scared to die because of hell… But whats a quick way to die but nothing like stab myself in the gut just quick and easy
She talked to me for the first time in a month today. Just to tell me she has no feelings for me. After five years. We were raising a family together. Thats what I get, I was an asshole. I cant be mad at her. But damn the truth hurts. Wasn’t this supposed to get easier? I just want to give up so bad. Fuck me.
I feel bad right now.. I keep doing bad things, but suddenly sometimes I get a moment of clear mind, I feel guilty from what I’ve done. But later on when my mind is hazy, I’ll start doing those bad things again.. The hell is wrong with my brain. I don’t want to do it yet here I am. I hate my own self. I hate my own indecisiveness. I gradually become worsen, am I not? I need to maintain my good side for the sake of my family and friends, while in an other side, I practically became darker and darker. T-T how should […]
I don’t want to kill myself. I really don’t. I just don’t know how to live anymore.
I feel emotionally exhausted, and I don’t see any way to get out of this situation.
I’ve experienced the suicide of a family member recently, and I don’t want my family to go through that again. So I won’t do it. But this decision makes me feel even worse. It’s like I don’t even have the choice to end all this suffering.
I’m living with my severely depressed mother, and I do also take care of her business, which is worthless because it doesn’t make money enough to […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]
i’m 17, in high school. The doctors
told me i have depression but i still don’t believe its real. It’s unbearable sometimes. Humans have glass hearts meaning we are so easily emotionally crippled. I just ripped two of my stitches out ( I […]
I’m not looking for suggestions on how to Exit, but rather how best to tie up the loose ends of my life in advance of my Exit. I want to leave in a manner that is as compassionate and uncomplicated as possible for those I’ll be leaving behind. There is a great deal to consider here, and it is very difficult for me to process the details in my current emotional state. I’m a practical person, and what I need is some practical advice, and unfortunately I can’t consult any of my trusted friends for obvious reasons. So I would appreciate any thoughtful words on […]
And I’m afraid I can’t ignore it. I have put it off so many times. I even hate myself for not going through with it before, I regret going to the ER when I had the will to end it all.
Even now as a mother, I am full of pain, loneliness, sorrow. I see no light at the end of the tunnel even though I try. I love my son but the pain is too much to live with. From age 4 ’til now my life has been terrible. One bad thing after the next. Where is my break? Where’s my happiness? Apparently, there isn’t […]
I have done a lot of thinking lately and I just realized that no one in this god damn world cares and loves me. I mean all I do is bring agony and pain to my family and friends. I keep on making them sad and disappointed because of me. Which has led me to the conclusion that I will commit suicide soon as in really soon. I might use a gun, or jump from a certain height, or even drink poison or something like that. Because right now I give up. I don’t care about my life anymore. Peoples lives would be better without […]
Loneliness is the worst part of all of this. I feel like no one truly knows me, like I can’t be truly honest to anyone. My family knows some parts of me, the only guy I’d call a real friend knows some other parts, you guys know still other things about me and there’s stuff that no one knows. There’s things I can only talk about with my family, some things only with my friends, some things only via SP and some things I can’t tell anyone. It’s like my personality is split in many parts, and whoever I am depends on who I am […]