so i burned myself the other day feel like doing it again cause im not satisfied with the amount of damage.school is also tommorow dont know why im trying again at something im bound to fail at.I want to do good but you cant live in the world if you dont want to live in the world.
I do have good reasons for wanting to leave.My whole family is alive and i dont want to watch them die in the next ten years.I want things to like pause forever and the only way i can do that is by dying.this world is crazy nobody is […]
Tag:
family
growing up in this house has been very difficult for as long as i can remember. prior to that, though ive been told its not possible (by my perfect controlling mother) i remember sitting on the couch at just about 2 yrs old watching my mother and father sitting at the dining table arguing, then he ripping his gold necklace from around his neck and sliding it across table to my mother, a gift from her. then storming out and taking off in his brown camaro. i dont remember very much whatsoever of the next 6 yrs at all. as if i skipped right over […]
I delay suicide because I’m afraid of the other side but deep down I know things will never be OK. Everything’s telling that I’ve long past my welcome… I’ve no money or friends and I’m financially dependent upon society and family to stay alive, everyone who’s known me thinks I’m a joke of a person, and i’m too damaged to function in society or ever be good at anything. I am either brain damaged or was born with an intellectual disability and I have no ability or personality to belong on this earth. I fooled myself into thinking I was getting better but I’ll always be […]
my real name is Mark, but I prefer to be called Maciee. I came on here to find advice and possibly a way past this time.
it started when I was 7 or 8, wanting to be dressed up as a girl and to wear makeup, to be beautiful and comfortable in the pink and frills instead of the disgusting monster truck t-shirts and baseball caps. my mom died before i turned 5, but i know if she was still here she would have supported me now. i’m 12 years old, (soon to be 13 in a week counting today!). I live with my dad and […]
I’ve been more depressed these days, listening to sad songs such as;
Youth – Daughter
Who you are – Jessie J
To build a Home – The Cinematic Orchestra
Before You Start Your Day – Twenty One Pilots
Those songs really get to me. They have a huge background, because I used to listen to them two or three years ago when my life was really going downhill.
I’ve met some friends online, but two of them lied to me. But not just a little white lie.. It was like huge ones for both of them.
One of them – Named Lauren – She lied about getting raped, getting pregnant, then being stabbed.. […]
Surprisingly the Seattle football team is putting me in good spirits. Knowing everyone there is having such a wonderful time cheering with friends and family distracts my mind from the darker ideas. I’m not sad tonight. Which is a good thing. It helps to read these posts and understand how others feel and live with what goes on inside them. Thank you for this site
What it’s like to live under a bridge.
Living under a bridge can be rough. It’s dirty, muggy, and this often results in the troll being grumpy. The troll has good reason to be grumpy though. Not only are its living conditions disgusting, but also it gets to hear the footsteps of those above him all day long. All day…clunk thump; people walk by without noticing the grumpy old troll under the bridge. The troll didn’t used to be so grumpy. He was born into a nice family, but he was a fidgety troll. Therefore, his family began to dislike him and identify him as being […]
It’s a strange feeling when you can actually feel your heart breaking. It’s not the break-up kind of heart break. It’s the certainty that I know I’m going to kill myself kind of heart break. It’s the crying on the floor asking God “why?” kind of heart break. It’s the understanding and knowledge that your life, your supposedly “purposeful” life is completely insignificant. It’s the kind of heart break when you decided it’s over. It’s the kind of hear break knowing that you are the equivalent of celebrity’s homeless, drugged up, beat up sister. It’s certain that I’ll kill myself. I’m tired of all […]
There is always one moment in childhood, when the door opens and lets the future in. – Graham Green.
I can remember a moment such as this occurring many times in my own life. Whether it was the kindness of strangers, or in some cases the complete opposite, the cruelness of my family or peers, I can remember so many milestones in my life where I have come to the point where enough is enough, and I have opened that door, seen the future, and attempted to embrace it.
I have always considered myself to be an all or nothing kind of person. Whether […]
So… I really don’t know where to start or what I’m even meant to say… My head is so full of racing thoughts that I can’t even work out what the thoughts are, they’re just a complete mess. I don’t want this anymore, I don’t want to live like this. I’ve tried so hard to beat it but I can’t fight anymore, I’m pretty sure fighting with your own mind is impossible anyway? I feel like there’s nothing left to do… I just desperately need to end this, I need to hurry up and do it. I just wish that this guilt wouldn’t stop me/ […]
I honestly believe I live a privileged life. My parents have wealthy paying jobs, and I am able to go to a very nice high school. Nothing awful besides the deaths of my loved ones, and regular crappy teenage drama has happened in my life. I’m lucky. I’ve never been abused or assaulted, but I’m still sad. I was briefly bullied in middle school, but who hasn’t been in their own way? No matter how many incredible things happen in my life, I somehow fall back into a dark place. I have periods where I am so happy, and then I have times where I […]
There is always one moment in childhood, when the door opens and lets the future in. – Graham Green.
I can remember a moment such as this occurring many times in my own life. Whether it was the kindness of strangers, or in some cases the complete opposite, the cruelness of my family or peers, I can remember so many milestones in my life where I have come to the point where enough is enough, and I have opened that door, seen the future, and attempted to embrace it.
I have always considered myself to be an all or nothing kind of person. Whether […]
Even in sleep my mind is filled with thoughts that all come back to the same finality.
As I have been unable to work for almost 2 years, the old grey matter hasn’t been getting much of a work out, say for the odd long walk with my dog’s. There are some times several days where the 3 of us just stay in our own little ‘nest’, only surfacing about 20 minutes before my other half arrives home, and painting on that smile that says everything is ok.
Then it’s a few cans of lager, my sleeping meds, and a few blessed hours of rest. This time […]
I was abused as a child. I can’t remember so many things! I have so many empty spots in my memory that I can’t deal with! I began self harming in elementary school. I haven’t been clean for longer than two weeks since. I want to die so badly! I can’t deal with the pressure from my family, the disappointment in their eyes when they look at me, knowing how much more disappointed they’d be if they found out I’m not as straight as they think. I am everything they hate. I can’t do anything right in their eyes, yet they expect so much from […]
Let’s just say, the last six years of my life haven’t been easy.. and now I’m at a point in life where I’m starting to struggle. When I was fourteen, I lost my mum to cancer, and that was when my world started to come crashing down. I went off the rails.. I spent all of my time drinking, taking drugs, trying to shut everything out and for a while it worked. That was until my brother got ill, since we’d lost mum, he was severely depressed and wouldn’t leave the house. He started to act strange and had a few episodes in which he […]
Hi. My name is mike. I’m only 22 and I have two sons. My life has been a train wreck. In had my second son with a woman who stole my heart. She is my everything. I messed up in the beginning of the relationship, talking to other girls online. She found out later after we got married. Yea we worked passed it but we had problems thru out the marriage. I was always drinking when I got emotional and down. I threatened to cut myself or not take my insulin. Things I should of never done. We would have problems an I would run […]
Life is always balanced out like a scale. Take this, if I was a billionaire, sure I could buy everything I want. But if I was a billionaire, I wouldn’t be able to walk on the street normally like everyone else. I would also have to worry about my, and my family’s protection. I would have all that I want physically, but it would be a prison emotionally. PS. This is probably what Robin Williams felt. I would rather be average.
Just saw a preview for the movie, If I Stay. Seems that a girl gets into an accident and she is left to decide whether to live or die. Then, she probably gets a glimpse of the life she would lead if she chooses to stay.
I wish I could see how my life would turn out if I stayed. I already made the decision to die but I am still here. Some days I am planning for my death and others I act as if I am going to live to 90. It is actually quite exhausting to live in two extremes.
It is crazy because […]
Dear all,
Some of you may have communicated with my brother here. His username was “Noom”. On April the 19th 2013 he drove to a secluded place and carried out his suicide via helium.
I love my brother and accepted his decision, but I’m here to give you an insight into the lives of those who have lost someone special who they love unconditionally to the tragedy you all so casually discuss.
I was married for four years – my wife couldn’t handle it and left a month after my brother died. I have spent months on end contemplating suicide and trying to cope with anti-depressants while doing my […]
To those tempted today to ask what Robin Williams had to be depressed about, with his success, fame, wealth, lovely home, lovely family, tons of opportunities and great moments in his life, please just stop. If he had died of cancer, would you ask what he had had to be cancerous about? If he had been run over by a car, would you have aske – See more at: http://www.alastaircampbell.org/blog/2014/08/12/may-robin-williams-tragic-end-herald-the-start-of-new-attitudes-to-depression/#sthash.vz4Hfjrj.dpuf