In fourth grade I moved to a new school..I was heavier than most of the students there and they made sure I knew. They constantly bullied me n called me fat and said worst thing about me. My teacher even pulled me by my hair and threw me into the principles office. I always went home crying. After that year I moved schools. I made sure I worked out so I wasn’t as fat by the time 5th grade came, I entered that school (I left my grammas house n moved in with my mom) I made some friends but I still heard the words […]
Getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do. It would be so much easier if I just didn’t wake up. I feel extremely alone and nothing anybody says helps. Sometimes I stop what I’m doing and I just stare at the wall and I feel completely numb. I feel like I’m not really here. When I tell people I suffer from depression, anxiety, and bi-polar disorder they just stare at me. Many tell me to simply “get over it”. I can’t explain how mad that makes me. People nowadays are not informed at all and they think that it’s easy to just “get […]
He said that he doesn’t trust me to have our baby and maybe he’s right. He think I will let something bad happen to her.
I’ve considered all of the options. All I wanted was for us to be a family. But he said I’m not good enough to have his baby or to be his family. I feel cold and numb. I have no one. He was the only person who ever loved me. I can’t live without my daughter. I can’t have an abortion. I will never be OK with that. I can’t let her live without me. She’ll think it was her fault. […]
I’m 19 years old and I thought that I could change. My entire life has seemed to be nothing but struggle. For years I waited for God to save me and my family, but he didn’t. I’ve seen many things and done many things I wish I didn’t have to. I’ve stopped my mom from drowning herself in the bathtub, I stopped my dad from hitting my mom when they got into a heated discussion; on numerous occasions I’ve stopped my dad from hitting my brother and my mom from choking him because he wouldn’t be quiet. I’ve watched my dad beg for food and […]
Well, I am going to write about what has occurred in my life; when my depression started etcetera. I don’t really care if someone reads this or not, I just really need to write it down. I was in a abusive friendship with a girl who lived 3 doors down from my house. I met her when I 3 years old and stayed best friends with her for 10 years. I know what you are thinking. An abusive friendship from the ages of 3-13? Well this “friendship” contained of me feeling like complete and utter crap 24/7 because of the friend mentally destroying me (intensely I […]
I am just tired I am so sorry.
I hate the smell of my own family nowhere is home for me
They tried to make me ok but the damage is done. Interacting with them does not make ne feel warmth or joy or anything at all i feel like i do not have a family. They became strangers. I am a disappointer in every sense but my sister isnt she is small and fragile and beautiful i hope she can be everything i failed to be. Baby you are a fairy abd im past the age of believeing them so trust me you truly are
I had […]
I’m absolutely fucked. No one knows but its true. If your read this through than you’ll know but those that know me they won’t know, i’ll make sure of it. I’m 18 years old, just finished high school and going to be starting college next year. This absolutely should be the best time of my life right, or at least that’s what all those movies made me believe. I’m the one in the family that you probably get compared to. The one who is polite and behaves and has never had a boyfriend even though shes smart and easy to talk to. The reality is […]
I don’t normally tell people about what I’ve been through and well since this is a website where no judgement will be placed on a person if they express themselves, I might as well use this opportunity to release some of my pains and emotions.
This is just a summary….
Hi my name is__________________.
I’m a girl with many fears and very little memory of what I’ve done in the past. I can only remember the key points in my life that really messed me up, it’s rare that I’m able to remember something happy.
I’m 19 years old. I have two half sisters, that I’ve never met. Me […]
How long until it gets better? I have struggled with bipolar depression for the last 2 years, severely. I wake up and I think about dying, I go to sleep and I think about dying. I just moved so I don’t have a therapist or psychiatrist yet but I have had both and went to them both every single time. Therapy once a week and the psychiatrist as needed. It’s not like I have done nothing to fix me… I even admitted my OWN self into the hospital to get better. I’m still sooooo severely depressed. No matter what I do it has not seem […]
I hate life everything about it I can’t honestly tell you something I genuinely like about it. Life hurts me so much that I’m afraid to even live it because I know the pain will come. Im afraid to let anyone in, to love, to trust, to believe. Because I see things negative and I don’t think I can change that, happiness is temporary and pain is forever. I’m afraid that I won’t make it through the next branch of pain so I don’t want to let go of this one. I don’t want to be happy that way I won’t feel the pain of […]
You could look at your family right now and judge them just by looking at them because no one knows their family better than a outsider. I’m the type of person who doesn’t talk much, but feels a lot. Keeps everything in and listens to others. Having parents who smoke weed and drink alcohol everyday, gives you a different look on things. You mature faster, but don’t make good decisions. I smoke weed and yet my parents tell me not to. They think I don’t know about it but actually I take their weed and call them hypocritical. I’ve cut myself and I’m not proud […]
I don’t know how to get through the rest of the day.
There is no happiness when your life is bare of family and love.
I look for a purpose to go on living.
I find none.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
Betrayal!
I was 6 years old when it happened
It felt like the end,
When you betrayed us
To mum’s best friend.
At the start she was just a nail lady,
Then we started having tea,
I was never really fond of her,
She did always charge a high fee.
But then she met you
This was when I knew she was bad
She took a liking to you,
My so called loving Dad.
It then developed to sleepovers
With her in a fold out bed,
One time I came out and saw you
Under her quilt that was red.
Then there was the year of the teen formal
I didn’t ask for any of this. I was born and my path was thrust upon me. I am not looking for your approval or sympathy because I simply no longer give a fuck. I hate people. I started out as a kid does; Innocent and gullible. I didn’t realize that I would be despised by family and friends for recieving gifts that I DID NOT ask for. I don’t believe in evolution but I am not religious in any manner. I was probably the MOST DEPRESSED PERSON on this site a few years ago. I have been here a while… I hate life and […]
It is automn and I am five. I m a lonely child, my friend are more ghost I created than real ones. I m thinking about death. Dad is dead. I I m wondering were his soul is and if his body is eaten by worms. But I now I m not supposed to ask myself this questions so as Mom asked I just smile and say “hello” to the all lady speaking to a grave.
AI m 8 and Mom says I will have a new father. He gave me a beautiful doll and de hide together in the moutains. I love him as I […]
My mother has always suffered from severe, chronic (mono-polar) depression, and constant suicidal ideation. My brother and I inherited/learned this, but I am the only one in our family who has become “actively” suicidal. So far I’ve been committed more than a dozen times to various laughing academies for the spiritually bewildered, not to mention 3 comas, and other extended stays in hospital ICU’s due to my addiction to self abbreviation. I was even dead for more than two glorious, velvet black minutes, before they revived […]
Hello,I have planned to end my life soon.I find it better than wasting time wandering around for help,which,in my case,i never got.
I am 18 yrs old.My family are religious fanatics.The kind of people who would run to God for every silly thing.They are weak people.Never gained the strength to live life.And they tried really hard to instill this “attribute” or “goodness” in me.But i simply dont understand all this nonsense.My mother has separated from my dad 5 yrs back.And shez extremely touchy and volatile.I cannot share anything with her as things blow up out of control.
I am left all alone now.I have lost my esteem;much […]
So I’m 24.
I am on the edge of understanding, people say like a baby bird getting ready to leap from the nest for the first time. but it feels like the closer i get to the edge i will either fall down and my wings will give out with nothing to break my fall… Or life will head off in an infinite spiral of discovery with joy beyond my wildest dreams. -.-
I am super attached to my ego and pain, I am self destructive and use that to put off rebirth.
First some background…
I am of illegitimate birth, when I was born my father never touched […]
This is the first time I have wrote on one of these so not sure what to expect. I’m looking for maybe an answer or someone to agree with me, anything really.
So I’ve been with my fiancé for ten years and we have three amazing children together, we have had so much bad luck together and lots of ups and downs. I have made a fair few decisions that have not helped us in our relationship two just recently, I got a number off a girl and arranged to meet but didn’t because I realised it was wrong, I know that’s not the […]