I have been in a battle with myself for about 2 years. Ever since I was 9 my family has told me that I need to lose weight because im fat. Yeah a 9 year old should lose weight. I’m actually not fat at all but I’m still in a battle to lose weight. i strain myself to work out. I know what you’re thinking just find someone to talk to. Well guess what I don’t have anyone. My mom never listens to me when I try to talk to her about my day or something she completely tunes me out. She has some “mental […]
There’s a story of a little girl. She was kind and beautiful. And, happy. At least, she used to be. That was until middle school got to her. I remember the way her eyes lit up every single day. I remember how she spoke. Just one smile brightened everyone’s morning. She was fun. She was adventurous. She was confident.
There’s a story of a little girl. Who went home from school excited for tomorrow. She always did her homework the first chance she got. She was the loving sister, the helpful friend. She was Daddy’s Little Girl. The only things in her mind were her […]
I mean, I have no real reason to live. No family. Health is terminal. There are movies coming out that I could see, but I don’t see why I should wait to see them, considering the ever-increasing pain.
But. I don’t need to bow out now.
That’s my justification from day to day and hour to hour. “It doesn’t have to be now”.
We’ll see how long that lasts.
So, I’ll start with some background information.
My name is Sarah, I’m 15, I live in the United States, have a rocky relationship with my parents, have one younger brother, and I’m struggling.
I’m struggling to keep myself alive. I’m struggling to feel confident and accept myself. But I’ve found something to help. Color guard. So what is color guard? It’s a team that spins and throws: 6ft long metal flag poles, solid blocks of wood in the shape of a rifle, and sabers (swords). And yes, it’s a sport.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 10 years old, so that’s a grand total of 5 years. I […]
I got married about 22 years ago. Since day one I looked after my wife with love and affection. I am 5’11” and she is just under 5′. I have suffered all thru’ my life due to uncaring siblings and parents. Thus when i got married I took liking to this girl that played a perfect game to get me married to her. Once after marriage, her games began almost as soon as the marriage was over. She back stabbed me all the time, with her brother […]
I’m tired of religious groups going out and trying to make people believe in what they want them to believe. Especially the Mormons in my neighborhood. They think they can just come into my house and tell my family what’s right and what’s wrong. They think that they can just tell us a couple lame stories(or scriptures) and make us believe in what they believe. And they may have gotten my family to believe that but they’ll never do the same to me. I’ve got my own beliefs and as long as they aren’t hurting anyone then I’m not changing them. I’m just sicken tired […]
Just imagine. One day you come home from school. Where you were already having a horrible day. All your teachers were extra hard on you today. . You and your boyfriend got into an argument again. This time it’s over. He already has a new girl friend. You go to your bestfriend for help. She’s always with her boyfriend. So, she never has time for you. You send her multiple text messages telling her that it’s over tonight. You’ll finally be happy. You wait six hours; no reply. She’s to busy with her boyfriend to reply. You grab that blade for the last time […]
I feel so lost.. So empty.
Everyone I talk to.. they disappear.
My thoughts are filled of suicide and selfharm thoughts.
All I do is disappoint my family….
And myself.
I hate myself more than people hate me, which is a lot..
Sometimes, I think about dying…
And I might do it.
I might end my life
I’ve tried not to be depressed, and I’ve tried not to let suicidal thoughts creep back into my mind. Â One tenet of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that if someone can change the way he or she thinks that will affect their behavior–sort of the scientific version of the power of positive thinking.
When I was released from the hospital and my residential treatment program I could relate to CBT. Â It was last July that I transitioned to out-patient treatment. Â For so long I haven’t had suicidal thoughts. Â But that’s changing, and I’m thinking more and more of killing myself. Â (There I said it.) Â Being hospitalized and […]
All I can think about every minute is dying. I want to fucking die today, right now, so badly. Â :'(
I am a b.tech student in united. I just don’t want to disrespect my father by all this my life. My family is expecting much from me. So, I want to die .
This is my first ‘story’ on here, and quite frankly I don’t really get how to navigate this whole thing.
But that’s not what I’m on here to talk about.
Nobody in my family that is close to me has died. I mean, my great aunt and my mom’s cousin’s dad died, but nothing effecting me too much. I’m not poor, my parent’s aren’t divorced, and I have a relatively happy and functional family.
If your still reading this, and you haven’t clicked out because it looks like im trying to brag about what i have, thanks. Because I’m not bragging.
I want to die. See now, that’s the […]
Tomorrow is another squadron meeting. I don’t think the chaplain would be a safe bet. my only friend suggested, if i treat the squadron like family, then I should tell at least someone, someone I could trust there. although I know and trust lots of them, there are a few I would never tell. example? My DCC. I’m really nervous, and if I even get the nerve to say anything, then I imagine they’d help me. Please, pray for me.
on dec 3rd of 2004 2 years after my grandmother past away and i was dealing with bullies, school, and family problems.My brother just told our parents that he was gay, now you can imagine what mom and dad were going through, well that night they had went out and i was home alone i found a box cutter and hid it in my room. well after mom and dad left i wrote the note made sure i told them i loved them, and i filled the sink with hot water and put both wrist in the water after grabbing the box cutter and placing […]
Hi.
I started writing down my feelings in  journal but I thought it would be nice to share with people finally.
I don’t know it all started but what I know is that I’m messed up. My family, my body, my mind, and my emotions. I’m not going to say I’m in this emotionless trance.
I still have friends but I hid my true feelings. It’s all starts with my family and how my mother is this fucked up parent. You can basically say I live by myself , but my dads the only one who supports me. He has to work all the time and my mom […]
So I turned to this blog last June in the hope of relieving myself of some my bottled up stories and emotions. It helped for all of 10 seconds. I’m still a closet gay (by my family’s demand and not my choice). My family would have me locked in a cage if they could, they have recently told me I’m the biggest problem my family has. I’m at university now so I’ve had a little bit of free time to experiment and be me. But being me has come at the price of my family and their respect. When I came out they took it […]
I was better. I was great. I had friends, lots of them. I felt accepted, I was less anxious. My family was the same, but I can’t change that. I’m not really suicidal now, because I realize the importance of life after my sister suicide atempt. But now we fight, my whole family. They say I’m not socialible, that I’m egotistical, that I’m impossible. They tease and I’ve asked them to stop but they don’t. I’m annoying, I’m conceited and I’m awkward again. I can’t ask a question without scrutiny, and I’m fearful that I’ll disappoint them. But why tonight? Did it build up, their […]
My parents fights everyday but sometimes it gets so bad that my dad will throw things at her,like the huge touch screen computer,I’m thankful that it didn’t hit her,and I want them to divorce but we live on a state far away from where the rest of the family on my dad’s side lives,and I don’t want to leave him somewhere he still isn’t familiar with.But at the same time I know if they don’t divorce then my mom will be really hurt,but at the same time I can’t even imagine we all not being together,and thank who ever is reading this.
I cut myself for the first time in a year…I hate on what I did but I had to get the pain out one eay or other…im trying to hide it from my family because my grandparents said if I do it again they are going to make me go to a hospital so I can get help…but here the thing no one can help me only I can help myself because its my doing
Wow, where to begin? I guess i can start off by saying this is not normal for me. Iv always been that girl that’s strong when nobody else is. Iv had straight As through high school and iv participated in a lot of sports and other activities. Iv been through many relationships, being dumped and doing the dumping. I lost the love of my life about 4 months ago, he was my rock, my support. He came into my life when things weren’t good at home, just when i was ready to say i couldn’t take it anymore.. the last 3 years iv depended on […]