What I think of.

Just imagine. One day you come home from school. Where you were already having a horrible day. All your teachers were extra hard on you today. . You and your boyfriend got into an argument again. This time it’s over. He already has a new girl friend. You go to your bestfriend for help. She’s always with her boyfriend. So, she never has time for you. You send her multiple text messages telling her that it’s over tonight. You’ll finally be happy. You wait six hours; no reply. She’s to busy with her boyfriend to reply. You grab that blade for the last time and just cut. The blade just won’t do it anymore. You know it’s time. You have to go. Your life starts flashing before your eyes. You fall to your bed and just sob. More tears than ever before. You turn on your camera to bid for well. You sit there and explain that it’s not your parents’ fault. You keep repeating the words “I’m sorry” and “it’s not your fault”. You tell them to stay strong and tell everyone you love them. You apologize to your bestfriend. You tell her that you’re sorry for always being mean to her. You tell her that she’s strong for making it this far when she almost gave up before. Sorry for feeling like your never there for her. When it’s always the opposite. She’s never there for you. Sorry to the only people you care about in this world. Family. You tell them that you love them. Oh so much. Family was the only one there for you. You still felt lonely. You can’t live like this anymore. You’re depressed more than anyone ever should be. Most say it’s just a phase, it’s not. No one truly knows. You’ve been hiding all your scars from your family and trying to be the happiest you can be around them. They’re the only ones who kept you hear this long. You finally shut the camera off. It’s time to go. You put that pistol to your head. Farewell dear friend. Your parents come home that night, mad. You haven’t answered their texts or calls. Your mom keeps screaming your name. She marches upstairs to your room. You’re nowhere in sight. She knows you must be home. Your favorite music is playing and Your phone is on your bed; unlocked. Your video is on the screen. She just starts screaming followed by sobbing. Your dad runs up the stairs asking what’s wrong. Your mom can’t spit out the words. Your dad is confused and questioning where you are. Your mom hands your dad your cellphone. His face goes pale. They call 911. Your dad can’t even say the words “My daughter is dead. My daughter commited suicide. ” Your siblings are down stairs confused about what’s going on. Your mom finds your body in the closet. You’re coated in blood. No one knows what to do. The ambulance arrives. They bring in the stretcher. They force everyone out of your room. They put your resting body on the stretcher and cover you up. They take you downstairs, strolling right past your siblings. The eldest begins to scream. “Why?! Why her?!” No one understands why. Why did you kill yourself? Could they have done something? Spring break is over. Your mom informs your school. It’s quiet, not a word is said. Everyone is crying. Multiple people posted memorial videos of all the great times they had with you. Your bestfriend doesn’t go to School anymore. She doesn’t know what to do with herself anymore. She starts cutting as deep as she can. She can’t deal with the stress. She starts to take pills, one for each good memory you guys had together. Your bestfriend is now truly an angel. God’s angel. Word gets out. Your favorite band, your idols, wish they could’ve done something. Anything to make you smile. They create a song in your memory. To bad you will never get the chance to hear it. No one knows what to do anymore. Your mom stares out the window all the time. She goes into a very deep depression. She feels like she can’t go on anymore. She has to for your siblings. That’s it. Your dad spends all his time at work. He can’t bear being home anymore. Why would he want to be in the place where his baby girl ended her life? Your siblings were taken in by your grandmother because your parents were incapable to take care of them. Two years after your passing, your mom finally gets alittle courage to return to your room again. She finds your favorite album of your favorite band and just sits there listening to it. Sobbing. She finds alittle collage of you and your family members on the side of your bed. She starts smiling just by looking at your beautiful face again. She flips it over and there’s a little extra message just for her. You wrote her a message saying, “No matter what happens, I love you. I always will. Nothing would be your fault at all. Sorry If I’m ever rude to you. I’m a very stressful person. Don’t miss me. You’re beautiful mommy, stay strong. Love you! XOXO” Your mom just stares at the wall, smiling so much. Saying she misses you too much. She starts to recite your obituary. “God saw you were getting tired, and a cure was not to be. So he put his arms around you and whispered, “Come to me.” With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away. Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, he only takes the best.” You’re gone. Your actions affect other greatly.