We haven’t heard from Januray…But.. I missed all these people who doesn’t know how much I love them.. Maybe they aren’t perfect to someone else,bu to me you are perfect just the way you are. I love you guys,all of you.
My status,of emotions are distroyed.Of health so much better,but I still feel empty. And if someone is willing to share their story can send me a mail on lanamajetic33@gmail.com . I will always be there for anyone of you. I can’t say it will be better,maybe it won’t be like you want. You have to stay strong. I sound like my therapist. haha. I […]
hello there.
my name is Ian, i’m 18 years old. I hate myself. i’ve been cutting myself since 13, but i’m not even remotely an emo. it just calms me down. it was okay, but tonight i thought that maybe just self-harm is not enough. i had this picture of me inside my head where i lie on my bed, bleeding to death, listening to my favorite album by Swans.
my mother despises me. unlike my two perfect brothers, children that she made with the man she loves, not my father. she hates my father. and me. my father doesn’t remember me. haven’t seen him for 15 […]
In spite of the upward trend in my life over the last couple of months, tonight I am just feeling so alone and deeply sad….both indications of a depressive episode. All indications are that my life will continue to trend upward. But Sam Harris’ rendition of the Bonnie Raitt classic I Can’t Make You Love Me is just speaking for me. I love the phrasing, his obvious pain and the fact that he didn’t over sing it….none of those ridiculous runs that prevent you from hearing the raw ache of the melody. I was able to sing like this until heart failure and other complications robbed me of my […]
I hate having a friend that has a life. Â It makes me feel so out of place. Â Honestly, It’s like I need that person but they don’t need me. Â It’s the truth, and it sucks. Â Really, they are just there out of pity. Â Pity, pity, pity. Fuck you, pity.
Yeah whatever.
I hate I hate I hate,
It never ends,
Am engulfed,
en-flamed,
en-raged,
end; it never,
i feel, i hurt,
i hurt, i feel,
loop by loop,
around we go, everlasting,
full circle we come,
perpetuating.
I have this wild urge to drop everything to move away and be a stripper in a big city.
Is that considered reckless behavior? or reckless thinking in this case?
I’m almost drawing up a game plan here to leave this winter.
I’ll end up destroying myself.. I can feel it
Everyone else going out with their group of friends. I’m not, because I don’t have any true friend. I’m twenty, and in college, i met two friends, but one was a backstabber, so we’re not friends with each other anymore, so left one friend, but this one friend who stay with me till now, she never made any effort to go out or hang out with me, and it’s been 3 years, so i feel highly that there’s something wrong in this friendship. If she considered me as her friend, not just in college, then why can’t she asked me? because every time i did […]
Why did you rape me? Why did you kill me? Why did I wake up again? Why did my heart start beating again? Why did you hurt me? When I was only 2 or 3 years old? I feel so sorry. I feel like it’s my fault. I feel like I should have been a better child and given you more. I am confused. I am scared. I suffered 18 years of a difficult time at home. And the problem was: My parents didn’t even know. They didn’t even realise what was going on. They didn’t even realise they were wrong. They thought they were good and […]
i’ve finally decided to do it. the date will be april 30, after watching the new spiderman 🙂 it’s been a great 25 years of life, but the past two years have just been too much to deal with anymore. somebody told me to love myself, and in this sense, i feel like i am. at least i wont feel anymore pain, right?
i’ve decided to use the hibachi method, hopefully, i can find burning coals along the way.
hey, whoever you are, thanks for reading this. i’ve lost people to talk to. i didn’t want to bother my friends anymore, and my family will just label […]
i realized i’m very self centered.
i’m all about me. i feel like the world should stop and help me fix all my feelings. but that never happens nor will it ever.
i’m a broken record reiterating my problems, feelings and concerns to the world expecting help or consolation.
screw it
I wrote this song for the broken people out there.
It’s been posted in mp3 format on sp, but for those who may need encouragement, or for those who may just need to feel that someone cares, this song is for you.
You can always comment, or drop me a line. On my chanel is also a song called in this world, of which has been posted on this site as well, and you can check that one out as well, if you would like.
brl.cents@gmail.com
There is black hole that lives inside me.
It slowly takes away everything. It slowly got bigger and bigger and I feel emptier and emptier. I can feel it crushing my bones, pushing and squeezing my organs.
I don’t remember how I got infected or if it was always there. But now I am filled with emptiness. I know what happiness is, I understand it and I know I will never feel it. There is nothing in this world that I want or that could stop my black hole from devouring me.
I only remember a routine I am suppose to follow to fit in […]
i am truly sorry if my last post offended you.i never meant to offend you.well its been two or three weeks since i tried and commit suicide. i feel so stupid because i tried because of just some fvcking stupid shit that i did and because she wants to be really mean and say everything ismy fault when it never was. now i understand what parents mea by if she loves or cares about you she wouldn’t want to hurt you.
Why do i always make such a mess of everything, best friend yeah she hates my guts right now because of something small i did, , my bf has made me feel im unworthy of love and my parents constantly express their disappointment in me. Everything i try to do i mess up or screws up for me, why should i even bother.
the only thing multiple overdoses, slicing my body to shreds And smacking my head against walls has done is bring negativity. any problems of insecurity I had have gotten worse from the amount of scars I have and the vomiting has fucked my body shape. the overdosing has made me get sick often and feel “not all there”.
not only is my physical body suffering from that but my soul is to. The more you lose the battle the more of yourself you lose… And all I can say is from the time I’ve spent reading, meditating.. this isn’t as bad as it gets.. I can […]
I should be careful and not come here too often…
I’ve been quite depressed, lacking hope and feeling generally worthless yadda yadda, uninspired to do anything but wallow in self pity.
Being so full of hate that I even learned how to tie a noose.
That made me feel better.
Because although we can all theoretically end it all when we want, it is often quite difficult. Not everyone has handy drugs in the closet. Some will just have to do it the tried and true old school way.
So it’s not always comforting enough to think: well hold on one more day because you can always end it, because […]
Hello I am a 19 year old girl and feel so terribly scared. I am currently in a clinic. I am no longer with my family because they abused me. I just wanna die. I feel so terribly alone. Every second, every minute, all I ever see is fear and feel pain. The people here in the clinic are nice but I feel like they don’t understand me. Besides they don’t seem to know how to deal with me. I have panick attacks all the time and my body jerks whilst I remember horrible memories in my head which I just can’t turn off. My […]
Eventually crying yourself to sleep will go away and your mind will tell your brain to just stop, give up, stop. Obviously the tears aren’t helping your depression. They won’t fix things, they won’t make you feel better, the only make you feel worse. Tears drown you in your pain and sorrow and make you over think why you were crying in the first place. Then you find yourself thinking of all the times you fucked up and how you wish things were different and how much you don’t want to deal with people, emotions. And thats all you need to make the biggest decision […]
Nothing really matters to me anymore. If you need a listening ear, I’ll be there for you. If you told me something funny, I’ll smile and even crack a joke back. If you cried, I’ll offer you my shoulder and spend all my time comforting you till you feel alright. And then I’ll feel really numb, I don’t really know how to describe it, but I don’t feel happy anymore. It hurts to laugh and smile sometimes, when I just honestly want to curl up in a corner. I think I’m just being insecure, but all these thoughts will rush into my head, and I’m […]
The moments when I sit at home alone, and everyone I know is busy. That’s when I finally realize how alone I truly am and it Makes me sad. To know that I have no real true friends nor family that care even just a little. No one ever notices, i feel like I’m not allowed to cry to be weak. But today I feel alone and everything that I push away comes up to the surface and I feel the pain, the emptiness.