I  want all the pain to go away that feel inside but know never going to happen. iv got to  much of it for it to disapear.
Hard times last forever but true friendships do!
Tag:
feel
I just read a few stories here. They are sobering to say the least. And if you’re reading this, and you posted something recently I want to say sorry for thinking I had depression, or wanting to kill myself, because it’s nothing compared to what you guys went through or are still going through.
I feel sickened to think that anyone would find out my actual identity. That’s why I’m thankful this is anonymous.
I was bullied for a while up to lately but everything  is going okay.I’m fine in school, really stressed and probably could do a bit more study but okay. I have an idea […]
I’ve read all the posts here and i can’t help but feel horrible. I feel stupid that i’m feeling this way when my life is actually okay.
i want the feeling to go away so bad because i’m not worthy of feeling depressed
I really don’t understand myself. One moment I’m full of joy, the next I feel like I want to die. I am so tired of feeling this way and I can’t tell anyone about this because they will always say I’m being overly dramatic. I wish there was a way to fix myself. Why am I even posting here? Why do I always have to feel sad?
I really wish that I didn’t have mental health it trulry sucks! You don’t know how ur going to feel from one day to the next especially with bpd. Why can’t I just be free from all this pain.
its not about waiting for ðthe sorm to pass its about learning  tood dance in the rain 🙂
I sit here thinking.. why couldn’t it have all been fine. It all started when i was around the age of 7. Mom got arrested. Dad wanted nothing to do with me. I felt lost, abandoned, unwanted, helpless, worthless, even forgotten. I didn’t know what to think or what was going on. Theres times now where i still feel lost, unwanted, and forgotten. Forgotten by the world, like no one ever even knew I existed. I go to school, just to get bullied on a daily basis. I sit and wonder what I did to deserve this, why is this even happening. Am I really […]
well this is the first time I’ve ever wrote on a site like this.im just trying it out to see if it helps me to deal with my problems as there’s no one I can talk to about it.”I fell like all my male friends think it’s “gay” to show emotions “don’t get me wrong there’s noting wrong with being gay” So a little bit about me, im a 16 year old male I’m into lots of stuff like music and art but not sport (wierd I no ) and I was diagnosed with depression just over a year ago. I find it hard to […]
You thought you could control me and you did, you still do. One thing I want most in life is to become the bigger person, and be able to forgive and forget. Why is it that you make this so impossible for me. I hate you with every inch of my being, my core, soul, or whatever it is that comprises this sad excuse of a human being that I am.
Every hit you gave, physical or emotional, scarred me to an extent which I am ashamed to admit. No one should have such control over another human being like you do with me. I see […]
This isn’t really how I feel NOW, but I wrote that earlier this week ’cause this is something I do a lot :
Bath time was over. It was enough. So I pulled the bathtub plug. Then the water started to go away, slowly. I didn’t really want this bath to end, so I stayed there waiting for the water to vanish. Then I started thinking about you. About how it was over and that I didn’t really want it to end. When the water was leaving me, I felt as insecure as I was when you first started to walk away. At first, it was […]
It’s been a week or 2 since I lasst posted, but I figured I would give you all an update. That is, if anyone cares.
So I went to the state tournament. And won, then lost, then won again. At this point, I was one match away from placing in my state tournament. Tough kid I had to take, but I was confident. Anyways, 3, 2, 1, wrestle! So we did, and I was winning for a time, then he got desperate, and I ended up losing.
After that, I cried for a bit. (I know I know, men don’t cry, but since I am […]
I feel like I’m such a failure, I’m 23 nothing to show for my life… I have a dead-end job with a small company… I’ve attempted college several times already, just don’t seem to have enough ambition. I can’t afford anything, I barely make enough to pay rent, electric, & gas… Yet I don’t qualify for help from the government… I look around at everyone else and wonder why am I in such a shitty situation, why can’t I be happy, why can’t I afford to eat everyday; pay my bills; and live a normal life… I am feel everyone is always judging me… I […]
I used to think that I was strong, that nothing could break me. Untill one day when I was in 6th grade I was with my step dad and He raped me. I told my mom and she got mad at me and said I’m a liar and not to say anything to anyone. I couldn’t keep it in. It hurt me so much. I told my 5 closest friends, and I thiught I could trust them. I was wrong. They told everyone. I came back to school 2 weeks later and these girls said I wanted it and i was a slut […]
i’m thinking about cutting again. its probably the only thing that will make me feel better at the moment. i don’t know maybe i will, maybe i won’t.
I feel like my life is just a series of bad days strung up together in one endless cycle, I can’t seem to escape.
It is like you wake up with a hang over to realize you’re late. You stub your toe on the way to the bathroom, and you realize there is no hot water for a shower. You get stuck in traffic, then there is no place to park and your boss gives you hell that day. You’re doing a mind numbing, meaningless job to pay the bills for the things you don’t really need. No body gets you at work, you wonder […]
I feel so lost.. So empty.
Everyone I talk to.. they disappear.
My thoughts are filled of suicide and selfharm thoughts.
All I do is disappoint my family….
And myself.
I hate myself more than people hate me, which is a lot..
Sometimes, I think about dying…
And I might do it.
I might end my life
I feel like I’m nearing the end. I am trying my hardest to hold on. I started cutting. I’m drinking and oversleeping again.
I tried to talk to my therapist but she mentioned something about ‘not losing my license’ and the deep sighing is all starting to make me feel like she’s frustrated with me.
I am certain no one dislikes me more than I dislike myself. When I feel that someone I respect becomes irritated with me then I just embrace self-hate that much more.
If your own shrink is done with you then why would I keep trying?
I want to be happy. I want to be […]
From the musical “Next to Normal:”
Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head?
Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?
I do.
I am self medicating interior pain at extreme ends with substance abuse, it cannot go on much longer.
My “shut down” cocktail: 400 seroquel, 4 klonopin, 4 tylenol PM plus mult oz of alcohol.
I seek cessation of all the pain, the noise and the agony of the present and future tense.
But its never enough, and I end up waking up to face it all over again.
Can some “bartender” here PLEASE help me create a cocktail that will put […]
on some days I feel probably okay..i try not to think much but most of the time..i feel exhausted! with my life..it’s just been one failure after another and add to that low self confidence and high self loathing..i just want it to end..if this is life..i don’t want it.. I have issues but I can never talk about them with anyone because whoever I consider close don’t know what it’s like..the whole “move on, fight, get on with it” thing doesn’t work for me..i’m tired of doing all that..im just exhausted and want some permanent rest and I’m in the final stages of getting […]
Nobody understands, I don’t understand it myself.
I don’t open up to anybody and don’t feel the need too, I think I can talk about my problems and work out my problems in my head and for a while, its worked. It worked up until this point, the point I realize I have absolutely nothing. Its taken me all these years, all those times when I thought I was better, All those pills prescribed for something that I didn’t quite understand myself, I just thought I was normal, being in touch with my feelings was normal, everything was normal.
To make matters worse, I started using drugs, […]
i feel like I’m walking into a sacred temple of sorts and I’m defiling the marble staircases just by stepping onto them. If I walk past the oak doors and into the cathedral, the stained glass windows will shatter and the pillars will crack and crumble at my undeserved and unwanted entry; i have no place here, I’m barely lost. I am a wandering destruction.
I wrote something a few days ago, and i’m sharing it here, now.
“To the Readers”
Slip.
You slip and nothing is as it should be; the world around you is but an endless dream, a mere coffee stain on your notebook […]