at times when you just want to give up. for sum stupid idiotic reason your still walking this gosh damn Earth for everyone else’s sake but your own because your just alone suffering in a cold cold cold section of the Earth where it feels like there is absolutely no life, no help, no care etc… I know for sure there are people out there feeling the same way because I know all of you guys do. but u guys know what I mean when I say feel alone. right? that ONE person who I know is the only one that can help, has no […]
Tag:
Feeling The Same Way
i think iam done with life is it bad to be sucidal i guess if theres a god then i will be burning in hell for entrintey mabe idk i dont really belive in it i guess iam going down as a athesist idk honstley evryhtings meant to happen and lifes worth living its all bullshit i think so the question is is it bad to take ur own life well its a form of destruction agnaist self so it is viloenet but do u keep living with all this pain and shit from people or do u enter into the next world weather good […]
You never know how alone you really are until you look around and no one is there. Yes, I have friends who say that they’re there for me, but are they really? Well, that’s what they want me to think. By them telling me that they are, they think I believe it. Where are they now? Where have they been? They may be here physically, right beside me most of the time, but they aren’t really. For the last two years I have suffered from depression, gone though a long phase of anorexia, bulimia and cutting, no one knows about my struggle other than my closest […]
I read about all these teenagers and people in their early 20s feeling suicidal. I remember being in that age group and feeling the same way. Hope always got me through. Now I’m 51. I’m single. Nothing to show for my life except that I’ve survived. That’s my accomplishment. I still feel like giving up. Every day. Themes such as ‘hope’ and ‘potential’ don’t mean as much once you cross into your 50s. I used to think that one day I would meet a girl and we would fall in love have a great life together with children and family trips and I would be […]
So another day has come and past, another pointless, meaningless empty feeling remains and all that is left is the cold embrace of an empty bed.
5 Suicide attempts, 2 last minute resuscitations in hospital, endless weeks in a psychiatric unit and each and every time come out feeling the same way and return to the same emptiness and nothingness that is my life. Medications make me feel numb, neither happy nor sad, just more of that feeling of nothingness, again. It is so ironic that ALL antidepressants just make you docile, slow, bored and unable to feel anything of meaning. I have decided that with […]