I know that for a lot the new year doesn’t seem like it is going to be full of great things or maybe so far the year hasn’t been good. Just keep positive because I have been there and I know what it feels like to be completely alone and wanting everything to slow down and stop. Sometimes no matter what people said to me like ” don’t worry, this will pass” or ” ignore what others say” or the best..” this is just temporary” ended up pissing me off more because when it is you personally going through a rough time no one knows […]
Tag:
Feelings
I’m alone. Sad, tired of trying, of living. Tired of waking  up to a bright happy world, and seeing nothing except grey, and things only I can see, hearing sounds of joy, but only hearing the voices of my despair. Franks gone now. Replaced, forgotten. Austins here. He’s just as bad. Eyes are staring, watching with a pointed loaded gun,  or a knife waiting for the right time. I am forgotten, none cares for the sake of me, waiting for the right time. 17. The magic number. 15, countdown. They say if I die, I’ll be back in my world, back in Hallaqu, with Austin, and Goob, Frank, and 200. My […]
I woke up a little earlier than normal today considering how late I went to sleep last night, I didn’t feel angry or frustrated today but I definitely felt how normally do during school which is like I won’t be able to think or work on anything because I’ve got so much going through my mind like a storm of nerves. I feel that every person with depression(maybe not all) can relate to the shame and the loneliness it brings, for me I’ve been wanting to be understood more than anything. I’ve felt very small and impressionable because I hear things like you should do […]
Im 12 years old and i know you are wondering what a twelve year old can POSSIBLY Â have gone through that she wants to commit suicide well ive been bullied ive made a big mistake once and i did that mistake again i dont know why but i did it and i never let my thought out i always keep them locked in cause im scared..scared of what people will think..scared if i will get hurt..scared i might end up killing my self if i did say something but then again if i dont i will probably kill my self no one understands me NO […]
i kind of feel like nothing. you know?
as in. i feel empty, literally.
like i have no stomach, or liver, or kidneys, or lungs just nothing. i feel nothing. im just an outline of a figure holding a sad soul, that has already died.
the only thing i know exists is my brain, because the voices are haunting it.
my feelings are gone. i thought i felt numb before, and would occasionally notice a feeling, of somewhat happiness that would last mere seconds.
but now. it’s like i don’t even recognise emotion.
i ‘smile’.
it feels like any other movement.
it doesn’t hold any true feeling of happiness. nothing. […]
Hi. I am a teenage girl. Over the last few months I’ve been under depression. I have suicidal thoughts. I really think that I do not deserve to live. I hate myself.. I am very ugly and have no talents. I’ve been bullied at school. I’ve heard so many horrible things about my appearance that really hurt my feelings. However I really agree with all those who call me ugly. I want to change, but I can’t. I cry every single day and night, I’m in great pain. I can’t stop these feelings. Because of being ugly I have no self-confidence ani I don’t […]
90% of my thoughts are suicide.
I can never be happy, I’m convinced. I cry literally every day and I’m just really sick of it. I used to be normal, I really did. Then, I started high school.
In the beginning of my freshman year, I made some new friends. About three months into the year, for whatever reason, these “friends” decided that they didn’t like me very much anymore. I was severely bullied by them for the next two years, which caused me to start self-harming.
As soon as this started, I met a boy on the internet. He seemed nice enough, whatever. Over the next three […]
Its been over a year since I attempted suicide and I am still struggling with some aspects of my experience. I decided to participate in this project because I think that suicidal people need a voice to speak about their experiences with, especially since there is an onslaught of media messages and peer pressure that distorts perceptions of suicide. Since I came through my attempt, I have decided to talk about it and hope that my story helps others, so here goes.
I’ve been suicidal for years. My Mom said that moodiness and sadness were all part of being a teenager and that it would pass, […]
Days like today makes me feel like I’m a fucking piece of shit waiting to rot away, or a waste of skin maybe. Fucking tire of people feeling ofended with the things I say or do… and people pushing me to care about them when it’s fucking clear they don’t give a shit about me, or else they would call me or text me or look for me…
What a wonderful fucking world !
Simply put… I am tired of feeling like I don’t belong. In fact, wanting to belong felt like the only thing I could believe in.
Up till this present moment in time, I have been a poser. That may not be the right word to use but it is true. I have lied about my feelings, my personality, and in general, my life. Now I won’t go into details about how I hate my life and nothing is working out, so, here is a rant for you.
Optimism is a false belief which many people face. I, being a teenager and a homosexual, have learnt this the […]
I was physically abused by my brother until I was 16 and left home. I admitted it to my parents, with whom I have always been very close with 3 years ago.
They claim to believe me. The claim to back me up. But after my last suicide attempt, after 3 days in 4 points in the ICU, when sent to the psych ward..they promised me certain things.
You see I uprooted my entire life on the West Coast to move back to the Midwest and help care for my sick father. He’s very young, only 65. But has a host of degenerative diseases. I went from […]
i dont want compliments, or anyone to tell me it will get better. if you understand, you will know why i feel like i can’t go on. i want to kill myself so badly. it’s just scary to think about it. i cut myself so much its getting crazy. and i just can’t eat anymore. i’m so tired of feeling rejected and lost. i am so tired of living. i’m not even joking when i say no one would care if i died. and i’m not lying when i say im not pretty. i mean it. i mean every word i say. i can’t even […]
I’m numb. No emotions, no feelings. Nothing.
I don’t care if I get hurt. I kick my toe, nothing.
I hit my head, nothing. I cut my wrists, nothing.
I don’t feel heart ache anymore. I don’t care if I cut to deep.
I don’t even care if my family find out what I write on here.
I’m 16 name is Chaifair, I live in a nothing town with people who just don’t care.
I’m over living my life like a happy little trooper. I’ve been faking my smile all day.
No one knows what goes on in my mind, because I don’t know either.
Hi, my name is Liz. I don’t know how to start talking about my feelings, it seems like they haven’t been around for a while, The thing is, I turned 20 and realised that a whole moment in my life was skipped. Now, everything is basically wake up, go to college, go to work and sleep. It’s like the world no longer exist and I’m a machine. I’ve tried to get into society, to be around other people, but I just didn’t fit. It seems like everything is controlled by a biological rule, you need to have a good appearance so you will have the […]
hey guys, have you ever been made aware that you were going to lose someone and the person you were going to lose didnt want to talk about it or didnt want you to help them?almost like they wanted to die, just give up and die. and you cant really talk to anyone but that one person. and because they dont want to talk about it ect. you bottle it up inside, and its like a wounded dragon who cant lick its wounds. so eventually it lashes out to make people feel or aware of what your feeling, and of course you look like an […]
I don’t enjoy my life. I havent suffered a major tragedy or anything, I just dont enjoy it. I dont like my body but seem unable to change it. I’m tired ALL the time. Completely unmotivated. A job I cant stand. Friends who all have their own families and things going on. Always worrying about bills and how I’ll get by. And I just dont see it changing. I mean, I really dont.
This isn’t an emotional decision, it’s a logical one. I have thought and thought about it. If I dont enjoy my life and I dont see it getting better, why shouldn’t I just […]
Right now I don’t even know how to put my feelings in writing.
Everything seems so far away. So unreachable. I have registered, and am going to write the entrance examination on January for university admission. But I can’t hold on any longer.
Recently all I want is just to die. I’m fed up of my life. I have lost everything. I have no family. I have cut myself off entirely from facebook etc. I have turned off my phone. I want to die alone.
Yesterday I took a razor and tried slithing my wrist… but I couldn’t. I wasn’t brave enough. When I tried cutting… it hurt. […]
I have thought about this for so long now. Why should I complain about wanting to die? I have a pretty good home life, an amazing boyfriend, supportive friends, even a good life going for me.
But there’s this tiny side of me that scares me.
I have my parents bitting at each others throats, jerks who wantto talk trash about my boyfriend, friends who abuse my feelings, and all these bad traits I see in myself.
Who said life is perfect? Why do I have the right to want to die?
I do though.
I really Do.
I have lied to so many […]
I have always seen life as a quest. It works like a game plan. Every level gets tougher and the monsters and hurdles get more and more dangerous and difficult to cross. I don’t regret having my life but all I wish is to have someone who I can share it with. I did fall in love and then ended up with a crushed heart when the relationship ended. Occupying yourself definitely helps but the loneliness remains. I have plenty of friends but I miss the existence of the special one. Work can substitute thoughts but not feelings. I don’t know what I feel about […]
*WARNING I talk a little bit about religion in this post, now I’m not trying to preach the gospel or telling anyone to convert, I’m just talking about my experience*
My last post I mentioned that a pastor wanted to see me because he noticed a sadness in me keep in mind I have not told anybody about my depression, now I’ve already seen him twice he wanted to focus on  getting me out of my shell I know he means well but when I went there I didn’t feel comfortable. Every time I met with him I felt like I wasn’t going there for me […]