I hope everyone who sees this reads it, I am no one special, I’m an 18 year old girl with so much baggage. When I was 15 I met this guy & at first I didn’t let him in didn’t trust him or love him, but at some point my guards came down & I let him in, September 27, 2009 was our day and it all ended after a year & a half. Imagine me vulnerable & alone. In love with someone who promised me the world. Said he fucking loved me forever and ever and always and eternity. Then one day he didn’t […]
Tag:
Feelings
I don’t want to die, at least I don’t think I do. I just want to make that clear.
2 years ago I was cutting. Often. Almost everyday. I was angry and sad and angry at being sad. I didn’t know how to respond to these feelings, I pushed my mum away and I cut. Not very deep, but frequently, and over and over again in the same place Each fresh cut over a healing one The sight of that blood it helped.
Then i moved in with my dad and he caught me. I got better. I stopped. Every now and them I admired those fading […]
A storyÂ
These scars tell a story
A story of me
My life, my feelings, my history
Each scar has it’s own meaning
This one on my wrist was from the day you kissed me goodbye and left me to die
These down my arm are from the months of self harm ending with an attemptÂ
These circles on my arm are lighter burns from the zippo I carved with your name on it
These scratches here and there are from the times someone else was there with me but yet I felt aloneÂ
This one on my chest is from where I was stabbed, this ring around my wrist […]
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I do have a sense of relief right now, since I found this page. And I know it seems stupid that something as simple as stumbling across a website can give me any relief from the way I feel right now, but I’ll take what I can get. I feel like things couldn’t possibly be any worse, but I know thats not true at all, because they have been worse before. I suppose it is a bit comforting to be able to get this off my chest without having the repercussions that telling an actual person can […]
I’m new to this, I’ll admit. I just happened to stumble upon this and started reading stories and it gave me this breif moment of feeling secure in telling my story. I’ll be honest in that my story isn’t that bad and is really quite dumb, but now that I’ve found this breif confidence, I have to let it out and hope that maybe someone will hear me and understand my pain. I’ve contemplated suicide, I even planned out how my funeral would go, but I’m afraid to upset my friends, afraid that they’ll blame themselves, but they don’t know any of this. I’ve never […]
I do not believe that I will live to see the next year. I have no exact date yet to fulfill my plan, but I do not believe that I can carry on much long. I still have many things to do, to make things as painless as possible for my dearest ones. There so much to do, but in the end I’ll be at peace.
For years I’ve been handling this feelings, but nowadays I mostly feel emptiness. I’ve been tired too long to carry on anymore for long, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just too tired and empty. I just hope that they […]
Hey guys here is my story of selfishness, and my un valid reasons for wanting to take my life. Im 23 I live in the UK. Basicly think im a person who just doesnt know how to survive in realworld and make sensible adult decisions. Been to university twice to persue my dream career of becoming an actor or a drama teacher. Both times ended up dropping out due to just [artying all time and making terrible choices. I spend money like an absolurte moron take out payday loans just to spend money to try and make myself feel better. Last octoper I self admitted […]
This song really sums up my feelings I just want to go be done with it
Tonight I Will Retire
Oh tonight I will retire
To the arms of my lover
The sweetest kiss she will give
As I lay down beside her
What will she think
When she awakes
Just to find I have left here
Oh tonight I will retire
To these hands with revolver
And I don`t fear death
I will commit
Like an old friend I`ve known forever
So come on in, take me on
No I won`t stay here no longer
And if I should taste fire
Save me not, I deserve to die
And oh tonight […]
I don’t know why I’m writing this, maybe it’s to release all my feelings somehow but I don’t think it’ll make a difference. I didn’t have a great childhood. My parents always fought and my dad was/is abusive. It hurt to see him hurt my mom and my two younger sisters. I used to care that he hit me but I got used to it and I just wanted to protect everybody else. Heck, I used to crave him abusing me because in my head that meant scars, bruises, belt marks. Evidence. I hoped that one day it would get so bad that someone would […]
I push people away when I’m afraid, because I don’t think they could ever handle my feelings, I’m still trying.
Have you ever had one of those days, when you just hate everything? And even dropping your pen makes you want to break down and cry?
I always feel as if I treat people right, I strive to make sure the people I love are alright, even the ones that hate me. But have you ever had someone that continues to tell you that they dont deserve you? or they just keep rejecting your love? but they still stick around. It confuses me, do you […]
Nobody understands why cutting is an addiction. Nobody understands why when I’m angry or sad, my first thought it to bleed, my next is to feed my drug addiction. Nobody understands that I’d be able to quit drugs easier than I would be able to quit cutting. I wrote this last night in hopes of trying to eliminate the confusion. I hope this poem is acknowledged.
Have you ever been hurt?
But I don’t mean for real.
I mean the kind that can’t be seen,
the kind only you can feel.
You keep it to yourself
the feelings you’ve come to accept.
But still, every time […]
Rusted veins..
Shallow pain..
So much shame..
Regret..
Feelings of loss
Feelings of change..
Am i to blame..
My thoughts and desires..
Burn in this fire..
Never again will i love..
Your face..
Your embrace..
My heart stops..
Bloods gone..
My hands are red..
Is she dead?
No..
Not her..
Shes… not here..
I am weak..
My life is bleak.
Tonight she died..
Not in reality..
In her head.
She died in mine
ive made myself a tumblr account where Ill post poems n pictures. Same name as I’ve got here. N yes I’ll still put them here first. Speaking of which.
I saw you yesterday
You were sitting on the bench in an outdoor mall
And suddenly, all the feelings I had for you
Rushed to my head. I loved them all.
I’m sorry about what happened
The things I said wrong
And I understand
If you don’t want anything to do with me at all
But I thought you should know
That though it didn’t show
I haven’t forgotten you
You’ve been in my dreams since the […]
I hate it when you like someone so much, but their in love with someone that repeatedly hurts them but their to loyal just like you. you just want to be like dump her ass and date me goddammit. why can’t people sees what they have when its right in front of them. I hate feeling they make me feel weak.
“My name is unimportant. I am neither male, nor female. My age has no relevance to my grief. Consider me a faceless representation of depression. An anonymous death seeker. A hopeless nobody.”
I’ve met someone. At this point in time I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse, a cure to my life-long battle with depression, or a catalyst. This someone is special. The way I feel when I’m with them is astonishing. I feel happy, and content with myself. I feel at ease. At peace. And when I am with them it feels like my troubles have slipped through my […]
Here goes another post.
I’m Amber. I’m fourteen years old. I just finished my freshman year. I visit this website often & I take into consideration everything everyone posts on here. I feel like shit all of the time. I have severe depression & I sometimes don’t know how to control my emotions. I like to post on here to let all of my feelings out. I have been suicidal quite a few times. It’s probably the worst feeling in the world to sit there & cry & have nobody understand how hurt you are. I’ve been hurt ALOT. I always thought God […]
It’s weird to know yourself so well, and still have no clue who you are or what to expect from yourself. I know what I do is wrong. I know I have a drinking problem, a depression problem, and I know my past has given me issues with men. I start dating them, sleeping with them, and only then do I realize I have no feelings for them and break their heart after leading them on for a month or two. The problem is that none of them understand me and the shit I deal with.
I’m in therapy, I’ve been on pills, nothing’s ever […]
I dont want you to know my name. everyone says ‘ you know my name, not my story’ and i want this to be the other way round.
So my mum and my dad split up when i was a baby, things were fine then when i was 11 i stopped talking to my dad. he said some stuff, and i got upset, anyway, we dont talk anymore. So thats that, and then when i was 14 my mum got this new boyfriend. i just dont like him, i dont know why, maybe its because theres ten years between them, i dont know. hes very […]
Is it possible?
To be able to feel better simply by writing down feelings and thoughts?
Is that what I needed to do all this time?
After writing my first post I felt like shit, bringing all those memories back up again after spending so long trying to forget. But now. Now- I feel better. Lighter maybe, more resilient. Perhaps, dare I say it..  A little closer to how I used to feel.
Lets hope this thing sticks with me when I feel I need to bring up darker memories.
Fingers crossed.
And.. damnit. Reading over what I’ve just written is making me question wether what I felt way back when […]
im not gonna say that my feelings for life doesn’t change every now and then. that would be a lie. i have good days and bad days like everyone else. and this lady’s and gentlemen is a really bad day.
no its not a bad day as in: someone f**** me over or i’ve been stabbed with a knife or my boss hates me or anything like that. its just the god damn feeling of being alive. people say its a lovely feeling. i think its gross and uncomfortable. and just FYI. don’t try and say that you know how to fix this or. just give […]