So for about three years I’ve always wanted to kill myself, the thought never goes away, I tried everything to get it out of my head but nothing works..I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, feels like I’m locked up in chains
please, how do I get this feeling away, how do I live a happier live witbout the consumption of poisons into my body, I’m lohelp my mind is slowing dying, my soul slowly vanishing, please help.
My emotions are like waves, threatening to overtake me at one moment, and then soft, serene..At peace with everything the next..
Experiencing this is incredibly hard and makes me feel crazy, but I don’t know that I’d change it. We who experience depression and the more difficult of strong feelings also have the chance to experience the other side.
It’s hard to read what I write during times of distress. It’s hard reading what you all write during times of distress.
It’s hard knowing that some people don’t know what happiness feels like. It’s hard forgetting what it feels like yourself..
What would help? Maybe it’s something different for […]
Its nights like these that I really fucking miss what we had. Holy shit we clicked like I never had with anyone else. I miss laying bed with you watching anime or some other lame ass shit on your lap top. Then making trips at 1 am to the store and picking up $40 worth of junk food. I wonder if you give a shit all the time. That maybe if I gave you a call or a text maybe we could try again. I know that will never happen, but it feels good thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I didnt have these memories […]
Don’t read this if you don’t want to, you probably have better things to do.
I’m a 15 year old boy. I haven’t been diagnosed with depression but it’s not necessary. I’ve been depressed since I was 11. I started cutting a year ago. I feel worthless and alone all the time.
It was when I was 11 that I found out how easy is for people to use you when they need something and then forget you immediately. It was when I was 12 that I found out how your “friends” talk shit about you at your back and criticize you in your face. People […]
Breathing feels as though I’m being tormented.Waking up in the morning strains my heart that little bit more.Acting as though I’m happy infests the majority of my mind.I seek peace through knowing that leaving this world is the inevitable.I’m told to heal myself, but how is that possible when those who tell me are the problem. They’ve ruined me. I let them ruin me. All that remains are the ruins of a girl, interrupted. Breathing feels as though I’m being tormented. Waking up in the morning strains my heart that little bit more. Acting as though I’m happy infests the majority of my […]
Are any of you depressed people experiencing not only depression, sorrow, and boredom of life but also HORROR? Is anyone experiencing trauma and panic from existing in a cruel and violent world? Afraid to wake up in the morning, afraid to exist, afraid of gods and devils? Do you feel like you are living in a horror movie? Fear of someone torturing you? For me life feels like the movie Saw with God being Jigsaw. I am trapped in a very evil body and if I want to get out, I have to literally cut myself out or do some other gruesome thing in which […]
Hello, I’m new here. I have stumbled upon this site before while doing research for my own sad suicidal thoughts. Â I’m 24 years old and I am a wife, mother of two, and full time college student. Â My life has been a constant uphill battle against depression, which started when my father took his life when I was 11 years old. Â Sometimes I feel so alone in this world and I just want to disappear. Â I wish there was a place where I could just be numb and have no feeling at all. Â I started attempting suicide in my teenage years by cutting myself and […]
the raven colored hair
falls upon her smooth face
the once warm and inviting eyes
are now shedding tears
dripping dropping ever so quickly
pittering pattering in her lap
as she curls up in a ball
wanting so badly to die and go
she opens up her mouth
and sighs ever so silently
she goes to speak to tell the world
but the room is dark and silent
will anyone hear her silent pleas
alas they will not because
she will mask them and hide them
hides her tears from the world
puts on a fake smile to mask her frown
looks down when passing […]
I once felt so worthless that I tried to kill myself. I stopped thinking about everyone I loved – my mum, my sisters, my dad, my grandparents and my friends. And I tried to kill myself. I set out two packets of antidepressants, a packet of sleeping tablets and a packet of prescription painkillers and I got myself a glass of water and filled up two bottles. I spent about two and a half hours taking pills, swallowing a tablet every minute or so. After about 30 tablets I started to slow down, and feel drowsy. I also kept getting up to go to the […]
My mind? I’m intelligent, you’re smart too!, we’re smart.
But our knowledge, sometimes it’s worthless.We know there’s no hope, we know the situation is bad, we know no matter how many times we try it won’t work, we know the things will get even worse.We know.But the feelings…the feelings…we’re almost breathless, crying, slappin’ our own faces, screaming, preparing ourselves, methods already chosen, we got the stuff, almost doing…
But even in a rainy day, when everything is going wrong…I dunno, when I feel certain emotions I completely forget about suicide.When I see something cute, when I hear an inspiring art, when I hear babytalk*, I […]
Hey names jane 12
my life was good up to age 7. My got ill with dementia. Her side doesnt help much. My dad and his family took care of us. My mum has been taken in and out of hospital for the past 4 years. It has taken alot out of all of us. Me and my sisters were taken in to care before my dad got full custody of us. (He and my mum seperated) my dad is stressed all the time. My mum doesn’t want to take her medicine. Â She always talks about God god god god. He hasnt done anything. Â My life […]
A little about myself.
I’m a 24 year old male from the UK, and I have suffered with depression on an official basis since 2009 after a failed suicide attempt, it began in 2005 I think. I work in food retail (Don’t do it, it’ll make you want to kill people). And I’ve done it for over 5 years.
But what about the title I see you ask, why “Fight or Flight?”
Because I feel it’s the only two choices I’ve got left. See recently I returned to the workplace which was a huge contributing factor to my mental break down I had back in December 2013, the […]
i just want to go.
people wont miss me.
the one person i thought
that would miss me
well i just discovered that
in the end they wont miss me
theyll move on
i just want to leave
im numb but in
so much pain
all at the same time
its weird because
i cant feel happiness
i dont remember
how to be happy
what it feels like to
be happy
all i know how to
feel is sad, pained,
and lonely
oh and ignored.
i guess i was right
this world is better off
without me.
isn’t it?
yes it is.
What’s the point of being kind to everybody when the only thing you get is being mistreated? i don’t know if i’m the only human who feels this way but i’m always trying to fit in and make everybody likes me, but everything i get is bullshit.
Today was one of those hard days when you feel alone, no matter how much people you have around you, it may sounds like a big cliche but it is how i feel.
I lost the significance of the word “friends” a couple of years ago, i don’t know what they’re anymore, perhaps they’re there asking you whats going wrong […]
Once again… I feel like pushing people away. Fought with myself a few times recently… I tend to forget, but when I do remember, its hell for me. I am terrified of that same feeling. Having others makes promises that I might actually break it. Just for there best. Just to protect them. I can’t do this anymore. I’m suffering even more. It feels like everything was just a waste of time. Like a pathetic dream that never occurred. But it did happen.
Everything good always dies. And I really despise that feeling.
So..How does it feel? Well, depending on the person it can feel all sorts of ways. I know one thing, that no matter the person it feels like shit. Okay, so let’s get started on the whole basis of it.
I don’t really know why I have depression, and sometimes I wish I had some sad backstory so it would be easier to explain. Nothing bad really happened to me, nothing too scarring. It’s just the little things that do it. Every little ounce of stress and anger, it all causes this sort of snowball affect. Slowly building up to knock me down.
It doesn’t physically hurt, […]
Came across this forum while researching things related to suicide and the reasoning behind it. I’ve had a good life, and I’m still young with lots of potential but things seem to just keep piling on, the puzzle pieces never quite fitting together. Last night I had it in my mind that it was the night I was going to see what was on the other side because whether it’s better or worse it should at least be different. The one sad thought I have is that I always wanted my death to count for something, to either give my life for someone else or […]
I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently, and I don’t know if there’s ever going to be a time where there mere sight of your name doesn’t make my stomach flutter.
I miss you.
I’d do anything to talk to you one more time. I think you’d be proud.
Did you really mean it when you said we were meant for each other?
Everything I do is because of you.
Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”
It’s interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting […]
I now it may sound arrogant and selfish and i do apologise in advance, but i just wanted to see whether I am the one and only who feels like that. Basically, I often read the posts here and i come across really sad stories, some people go through really tough times in their life and i do fully empathise with them. Â In my case, I Â cant say that I have major problems in my life meaning, i have a partner, ok job, few friends etc. So nothing really major to report.
However, I constantly feel like ending my life as i do not see any […]
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