Tag:

find

Waiting

by MuteKaterwaul 8/22/2014

written by MuteKaterwaul

The night before last I let my anchor go – the only person who held me somewhat together. He broke up with me last year after a few years of long distance dating but we remained close friends up until now. He has a new girlfriend and it was clear he was drifting further away from our friendship no matter how much he denied it. I don’t blame him. He was broken like me when I met him, not suicidal that I know of but certainly depressed, and over the years he has gotten better and I have not.

It was probably horrible of me but […]

8/22/2014 14 comments

Freedom

by 78hundred 8/22/2014

written by 78hundred

Finally, it makes sense.

Just give up on the idea of a perfect social conforming future. Ha!

I’ve never felt so comfortable in my life. I never have to care again.

If I don’t find a job, stiff biscuits! I’m at home anyway, so support is always there.

No partner ever again. Been there, experienced it. Better than not having had that at all.

It just moves on. Carefree as it goes. The only stresses in life are the ones caused by excessive desire for social success and the needless comparison to other people, who don’t care about you anyway.

So I say fuck it! Take your […]

8/22/2014 4 comments

can we find a place to be together

by misanthrope 8/22/2014

written by misanthrope

A place where the suffering people ,like us,can live and try to find understanding and support amongst our own. If I dont go SOMEWHERE,ill die soon.. YES,it seems unwise,I suppose ,to draw all the walking wounded mentally ill and despairing desperate together into one place—,but isn’t the loneliness and pain already unbearable and are not many among us already taking extremely risky and reckless chances to attempt to kill th pain? What if we could make a pilgrimage to our very own monument- a monument to outrage,and sadness,and despair.It would be a monument to express ALL the MANY Reasons we are suicidal and suffering.What if […]

8/22/2014 16 comments

What do you find supportive?

by Rey 8/22/2014

written by Rey

I want to know what you really would like to see from people who are supporting you?

I see these ads for a self-help depression website on TV and online a lot. It’s depression.org.nz and it’s for New Zealanders (though I’d imagine others can access it). Heaps of the media messages have been about getting out there and telling people, family and friends, about how you are feeling. However no mass-media campaign in NZ has yet to inform people specifically how they can help.

Since I started talking about my experience, I’ve had mixed reactions to my struggles ranging from “Oh that sounds hard” to “Don’t worry, sometimes […]

8/22/2014 2 comments

Still Alive Today Unfortunately

by boots95843 8/21/2014

written by boots95843

God, Please help me! I want to leave this life and its hardships and burdens. I have planned and stopped many times and think about killing myself every day. I wrote my notes and instructions yesterday. Today I am trying to have new hope and do something to not give in to the end of me. I am 68 years old and extremely depressed, financially bereft and hate my life. I do not want to hurt my children and siblings, but life is so hopeless. I feel humiliated and worthless. I cannot find work and my husband will not help. We lost our home and […]

8/21/2014 4 comments

It’s time.

by shasha22 8/21/2014

written by shasha22

My last post about executing the plan, was a failure. I know I haven’t got enough courage to do it on that day, simply because I thought I had something to live for, or someone to live. I still do, but the urge is just more each day and I couldn’t find a way to resist it instead to just do it once and for all. My current situation is pretty bad, I’ve lost my job, my parents hate me for not earning, and I’m just rotting at home, but they have no idea how broken I am for letting them down. My parents are […]

8/21/2014 2 comments

I can feel it coming on

by Engie 8/20/2014

written by Engie

Zopiclone is squirting into my brain. If they find a way to make the taste you find in your mouth at this point less horrible, it would be much appreciated.
My mind is starting to melt like candles, bright glittering, forming pools of liquid, yet a solid.
I was told these can make some people hallucinate if you try to resist the urge to sleep, but it didn’t work for me.
I didn’t mean to make this post so long, but typing the last few paragraphs has been incredibly hard and and glittering sparking birds fly through the sky, they feed off the weak. They […]

8/20/2014 4 comments

Unrequited Love

by teardownthewall 8/18/2014

written by teardownthewall

I’ve never had much luck with love. It seems that every time I fall for someone, they can’t reciprocate my feelings. I had a girlfriend I really loved when I was younger, from the age of 12 to 13, but I became a phase to her and so she left me. After that I had a few relationships in middleschool and college but I was just settling for people I knew I didn’t love simply because I didn’t want to be alone. I’ve had a few people proclaim their love for me and it always makes me feel terrible when I don’t feel that way […]

8/18/2014 1 comment

“chumming the sea..”

by PeelASquid 8/18/2014

written by PeelASquid

Chuuming the sea,

Get it ready for me.

Throw in the fish,

Prepare the main dish.

Sharks all around,

They wait for that sound.

Me falling in,

Let the feeding begin.

Biting and ripping,

I feel my life slipping.

Soon nothing there,

Life was too much to bear.

Find my boat on the sea,

But they’ll never find me.

8/18/2014 1 comment

The Grey Sheep

by TheStranger17 8/14/2014

written by TheStranger17

I am neither a black or white sheep, in terms of how extreme a person I am.

White sheep are the normal people, who have their daily struggles but usually they come out on top. Some of them have a good life, some of them bad – but most have a life that they feel is fulfilling and meaningful – spouse, house, career, car, kids – it’s all been done before but doing it yourself feels so different. You make your own life and you are relatively content, maybe even happy. Maybe a few bad thoughts now and then, when it gets to the lowest point […]

8/14/2014 3 comments

Alternative to Suicide

by TruthIs 8/14/2014

written by TruthIs

If Love is the problem
You just need to find a new love
If Money is the problem
You just have to make more money
If Other people is the problem
You just have to find new people to hang out with
If past mistake is the problem
You just have to disregard it
If Sadness is the problem
You just need to be happy

So all these problems have alternative solution. It might not be easy but there are possiblity, however slim, to fix these situations.
There’re examples of people who find love again even at old age
There’re examples of people who have nothing […]

8/14/2014 9 comments

If you’re planning, just read this first.

by iamsamijo 8/13/2014

written by iamsamijo

Hi there, my name is Sami Jo. I remember being 13, and it was the best year of my life. After that, I fell into a dark place and thought there was no way out. I decided at 15 that it just wasn’t going to get any better. Over the next 5 years, I tried to kill myself 5 different times and somehow someone or something stopped me every single time from succeeding. I’m 21 now and I still have days where I am angry for ever being born into this world. But, every now and then I’ll have days like today where I think […]

8/13/2014 8 comments

Who’s the selfish one?

by Asura 8/13/2014

written by Asura

People always like to think they know how I feel, or how people like me feel, when they’re all just so far from the truth. All these feelings of worthlessness self hate, and loneliness have taken they’re toll, and reduced me to a shadow of whatever it is I was – I don’t even remember what happiness felt like, it’s just numbness where it should be.

Why do parents have to be so stuck in their ways? I promised myself I’d never make the same mistakes if I ever have kids. Never ever lay a hand on them, let alone a fist. If there’s one thing […]

8/13/2014 0 comment

He Actually Did It

by Khumz 8/12/2014

written by Khumz

All The Oscars,money and fame couldnt stop depression from attacking you!depression just doesnt attack poor people only,it can attack anyone.He wasnt born with depression,but has been battling it for years,HE WAS A COMEDIAN!!made people laugh all the time,and yet depp down he wasnt happy.goes to show that we can smile and shake hands around people,while dying inside.63years,and he did it!he mustve been contemplating it for months or whatever,becoz we all want to do it,but keep holdin on,faith,or whatever.shit is real!
he can finally find peace.R.I.P ROBIN WILLIAMS

8/12/2014 1 comment

Firehouse

by iamsamijo 8/11/2014

written by iamsamijo

I hate living by the hospital. My apartment just happens to be in between two firehouses, as well. At the bottom of the hill sits the police station. I hate this location.
I thought I would enjoy it, being walking distance to work and the train line. I figured I’d be safer in this part of the community, so close to all emergency services. I assumed it would give me peace of mind. It’s an inevitable contradiction in my soul.
I hear sirens daily, hourly at times, for minutes on end. Where are they going? My roommates and coworkers go about their day, it’s unknown […]

8/11/2014 4 comments

Perverts Taking Advantage WARNING

by MrFixit 8/11/2014

written by MrFixit

I may be new to this site, but I’m not new to being emotionally and mentally damaged, nor am I new to being around people of all different backgrounds who are just as emotionally and mentally damaged.

I been hearing quite a few things about adults coming to sites and chat rooms for depressed or suicidal teens in particular hell bent on picking up as many impressionable individuals as possible in hopes to find a few victims to prey on.

Let’s face it, a lot of emotional teens can be easy to take advantage of, sometimes you don’t even have to try. I used to help a […]

8/11/2014 0 comment

stone cold deth bed

by why i dont no 8/9/2014

written by why i dont no

one day ill slip away no one will know were i am

one day ill fly away till my wings melt in the sun

one day ill bleed out in a shower no one will find me.

one day one more fucking day on this earth ill go insaine

im going to screem at the stars till thay fall on my head

ill sware at the sun till it berns me red

ill get in evrye fight till im beten to a pulp

ill cry evrey nigh till i can cry no more

ill cut my arms till you cant see the skin

ill slice my chest with a razor so thin

ill dice my legs up […]

8/9/2014 0 comment

One Person

by lonelygirl9 8/8/2014

written by lonelygirl9

One person can make a difference. One person can make you laugh, make you feel accepted, make you feel loved…but I just hate they are so hard to find, and once you do find them it almost hurts to trust them, to hand over your heart and put it in their hands because what if they drop it? then how are you ever supposed to know that you can trust again

8/8/2014 12 comments

Do you really wanna do this

by gonna die 8/6/2014

written by gonna die

Ok let be real

our life is suppose to suck

If you think no one wantes you

your wrong

your parents love u

if they dont so

they’re just people

im 100% someone likes you

even if its 1 person

Listen if you lived in peace

Then your life is going to be boring

find something you like

i like singing and playing piano

that help me

you have to find something that makes you happy

watch apple dance that should help if your sad

i seen it work

1 girl was going to take her life and she watch that

and she started laughing

i hope you dont take your life

i hope

…..i hope

-brian

8/6/2014 0 comment

Back Down The Valley

by Bisban 8/6/2014

written by Bisban

To the death
My only fear
I need to find
A place to fall

Give me freedom
Even if
I have lost
But how

I am the entity
Of death
I just made the
Whole house shake

Grandma with
Her eyes close
Listening
To the ghost

Prayers of death
Repels you
Go to sleep
Time of quiet

I do apologize
But none to hear
Sudowoodo ran
Never came back

Hell is a suffer
Burn me to death
The monster
Is not coming back

Monster of hell
Reptilian
Go to sleep
[…]

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8/6/2014 2 comments

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