Tag:

first time

First post…

by STAGNANTwhirlpool 5/3/2015

written by STAGNANTwhirlpool

Been browsing for a few days now and finally feel like posting. This is the first time in my life I am seriously considering actually going through with suicide… I am not quite ready for talking openly on here but it would be nice to talk with someone who also uses the site to kinda “show me the ropes, (nooses?). anyways.. I am on omegle right now and if you want to come find me, put ‘suicideproject.org’ as an interest/keyword and lets see if you can see me!

p.s. I hope this is ok to do and if not just let me know. Not trying to […]

5/3/2015 9 comments

i think im ready to checkout

by wishiwasassj 5/2/2015

written by wishiwasassj

Let’s start my story at high school, which sucked ass. Basically really patriarchal boys school and my social life was non-existent. In my last year of high school parents got in a car accident, mother died and father left paralysed (and in hindsight mentally broken to a degree). I pushed for me and my younger siblings to move to live in Australia with relatives and this was supported by my mom’s side of the family, but not my dad’s; this essentially made me enemy no1 as far as my dad’s side was concerned and I suspect my dad has always held that against me. I […]

5/2/2015 5 comments

“Well-meaning Family”

by JustReallySad 5/1/2015

written by JustReallySad

Went to counselor today, had a really good session with this new counselor for the first time. Come home, Mom wants to know how the session went. Then Mom proceeded to say how the counselor doesn’t know anything. Mom somehow thinks she’s the expert and has all the answers on how to fix my life. Then later on I’m in another room of the house and I can hear her and my Dad bad-mouthing me. I’m glad they let me live here during this divorce process, but they FUCKING DRIVE ME CRAZY !!! Can anyone relate to this?

5/1/2015 4 comments

I don’t know what to do

by gymnast67 5/1/2015

written by gymnast67

For the first time in a long time, my anxiety is back. I really don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying. I’ve felt like I can’t breathe for the past two days. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.

5/1/2015 6 comments

journey continues

by worthless_loser 73 4/30/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

Three times. Three failures. Twice. I will explain.
This is not only the third time I have raised a loaded gun to my head. It is also the third time in the last 3 weeks that I was ready only to back out.
First things first.
The first time, back in June 2012, it was purely impulsive. No plan, no thinking. I was faced with an impossible choice. Either give her up or give up everything else. This will be the common theme in my suicidal journey. Someone trying to take her away from me. Obviously I chose her.
The second time, January of this […]

4/30/2015 3 comments

Flupenthixol

by schizophrenia 222 4/30/2015

written by schizophrenia 222

Just wanted to say thanks to all that post and help others. I had the jab at mental health with a typical antipsychotic and the voices have dimmed for the first time in nearly 2years. I am so stoked and happy to see it all dimmed. Please god be it for a long long time. So thankyou for all your support through the hard times. Im in a country lucky enough to have this med. Fingers crossed.

4/30/2015 5 comments

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

by Matt 4/18/2015

written by Matt

There was a time in my life, not so long ago, when I could pass for normal.

Probably because, for all intents and purposes, I was normal.

I did normal things, ate normal food, took normal shows, I was thoroughly unexceptional.

Not to say I’m exceptional now, but you get my meaning.

No one ever said it’d be easy to get back to that place in my life.

But for the first time in a long time, I can see the horizon.

Those bastards were right, time must heal all wounds.

No longer am I taking one step forward and two back.

I’m making progress.

Two steps forward, one step back.

Now only a million […]

4/18/2015 0 comment

Third times the charm

by curiousitykilledthehuman 4/8/2015

written by curiousitykilledthehuman

For the first time in 7 months, I find myself contemplating how things would be if it had worked the first time. Or the second.

4/8/2015 1 comment

DA NA NA NA

by Skeleton100 3/18/2015

written by Skeleton100

Oh, and I’m passing for a boy now, as long as I don’t open my mouth. Fuck yeah. My brother’s friends call me Matt. Fuck yeah.

I finished my research paper.

I talked to a counselor about a LGBT support group.

I took my pill today.

My grandma hasn’t called up yet to drag my ass back to her house to rot in a pious censored environment.

For the first time in 14 years on this cracked polluted smelly grey earth, I’m myself.

If you think about it, everything on this earth is essentially shit, or at least some form of shit.

FUCK YEAH. SHOUT IT. 4 more years and I’m free […]

3/18/2015 0 comment

Drinking

by savemefrommyself 3/11/2015

written by savemefrommyself

Me and my boyfriend went to a party a while back where I drank for the first time and I liked it. While I was drunk something snapped in place and I felt better… I’ve been drinking a lot since then and my boyfriend made me promise to stop… but I can’t. And I have been trying to since I promised… should I tell him I still am drinking?

3/11/2015 1 comment

The last straw for this weak camel

by Lsari 2/26/2015

written by Lsari

I have often read many a tragic tail when it comes to this sort of thing. Mine isn’t worth telling. I’m sure there are many others who could of made due with this life of mine. I however, could not. This is merely the result of a life time of inaction. I have always known that I would wind up killing myself, ever since I was 7, I wanted to die. Truth be told, I was really hoping I would of died by now, some sort of traffic incident, illness or even murder. I have been unfortunate to have lived so long.

I’ll be turning 23 on March the […]

2/26/2015 2 comments

the truth hurts

by notsureifreadytogo 2/25/2015

written by notsureifreadytogo

She talked to me for the first time in a month today. Just to tell me she has no feelings for me. After five years. We were raising a family together. Thats what I get, I was an asshole. I cant be mad at her. But damn the truth hurts. Wasn’t this supposed to get easier? I just want to give up so bad. Fuck me.

2/25/2015 3 comments

Memories

by Matt 2/21/2015

written by Matt

I’ve been toying with what I think is my favourite memory recently, just letting it play on repeat behind my eyes. It’s kind of a double edged blade, because when I’m in it, I’m happy. But happiness leads to overthinking, a sword I think many of us here at SP fall on regularly.

Okay, so it’s his 20th birthday. It feels like only yesterday but it was a lifetime ago now. We threw him a party at the house and so many people came. A testament to how loved he was. Scratch that. How loved he still is. I was actually enjoying myself being around other […]

2/21/2015 6 comments

First post

by CosmicWind 2/12/2015

written by CosmicWind

I made an account last night…Im not really sure what say.

I’ve been battling chronic depression since I was 14 I’m 24 now. I attempted suicide my first time when I was 18, and again at age 23. I was given one glorious opportunity at peace about 8 months ago, leaving this world with someone, someone that took all the pain way. I can’t go more then two days without wishing I would have just said yes.

2/12/2015 5 comments

First Day

by theforgottenfew 2/5/2015

written by theforgottenfew

I work this morning, but after I come home I start my classes for the first time since 2011. Today is the first day of class. I am terrified. I know it’s only online school but it feel so huge like an entire building is falling down on me. I am excited to be going back but at the same time I can’t shake that feeling of “what if” I’m at a point in life where I can not afford to fail. I have to do this and I have to make good grades or I won’t receive my scholarship and it is so much […]

2/5/2015 5 comments

Grim Circles

by LadyAtronach 2/4/2015

written by LadyAtronach

I’m very new to this site, I was searching for something a lot darker than this forum, and ended up finding this instead.

I relapsed the other night – hard – in every sense of the word. I began drinking again, I sliced my arms up, watching as the blood from my new wounds uncovered marks I made long ago; when I claimed I was done cutting and everything else the first time.

I hate this, I mean, I really loathe falling back into the same hole I promised I’d never find myself in again! But it’s whatever. I end up dead tomorrow, and nothing else would change. […]

2/4/2015 22 comments

i can’t go on

by cloudydays 1/21/2015

written by cloudydays

I cut class for the first time today. I can’t take it anymore I can’t go on living like this college jut started and the only thing I’ve done this two days is cry. I’ve always been scared of cutting class because I don’t want to be a burden on my parents which I already am but I’m so depressed and suicidal that Im staring not to scare if I fail college. What’s gonna happen? I want to die anyway. Some days I feel OK like this pass days but now that I have to go out and be out all day and deal with […]

1/21/2015 1 comment

Wish me Luck

by Skeleton100 1/17/2015

written by Skeleton100

Leaving this world tonight. Gonna pack up and try somewhere else. This illusion’s crumbling. I saw myself in the mirror for the first time. Little grey mouse.

Wish me luck

1/17/2015 8 comments

Away

by HereticBlood 1/8/2015

written by HereticBlood

He’s away right now… So I quickly write my new theory and hopes.. Maybe.. Maybe he’ll get so angry he’ll kill me with his bare hands.. I never thought I’d die by the hands of someone else but myself after the first time but now I’m okay with it all as long as I’m at peace and in a never ending sleep.. Much love

1/8/2015 0 comment

I need a method, a partner, and I hate you.

by DreamingOfDeath 1/5/2015

written by DreamingOfDeath

Just kidding. I have a method, although alone, I loved you.

I really, really wish this would end. I am pretty tired. You, know. That’s a good way to describe it. I am tired.

Holding on, is hard. I just can’t end up failing again. Hearing my mom scream, and cry. That and the hallucinations I experience were basically hell to me.

My mom is a strong woman, she’s been through her fair share as we all have. She doesn’t cry . Seeing her finally cry for the first time in years, because of me, because of my lifeless body .

I can’t experience that again, and , even if […]

1/5/2015 1 comment

Newer Posts

Older Posts