well last night i lost it and dumped the rest of my pills down my throat…i wish i were like the restof youwhere i could drone on and make some huge intresting explaination about what happened but i cant…i feel like a real ass not expressing my issues because now you guys think i make them up right? Well here goesmy explaination:you dont know how it feels to wake up everyday and be drowned wit annoying bothersome voices and demons who leap onto you and rip your soul out! You dont know how it feels to always long for suicide, to always look down at […]
Tag:
Freak
If so, I’d like to know what it is. Life doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I came here out of desperation. I have nobody to share my feelings with. I am alone. I’m afraid to be close to people because they always hurt me in the end. Or maybe I’m alone because people generally do not want to be around me. “Freak,” they’ll call me, telling me how I am not worth their time. “Tell me, why haven’t you had a boyfriend? Are you lesbian?” They’ll ask me. Outraged, I deny, but they don’t believe me. It isn’t my fault nobody wants me. It isn’t […]
It sounds weird, but I’ve been in a way, staking your profile on here since you sent me your first post. That’s how much I care. Why? Because if you DO do it, I don’t want to learn from some depressing story on the news. Either way it wouldn’t be any fun… Maybe it’s because I don’t want another Aunt Cheri. Well, that’s actually one reason… Another reason? Because you are my closest friend. Even though I’ve only seen you in person twice, you are the only one that knows about 90% of my secrets. I just wish you would tell me when you want […]
Reading some of the posts here just break my heart. There are so many people that have been, or – in some cases, currently subject to the most hideous abuses by those that are supposed to care for them. Those with drug addicted or alcoholic parents, those that are being physically and sexually abused by members of their own family, or even worse.  It makes the trials and tribulations of my formative years, whilst far from idyllic, seem like paradise in comparison.
Then, there are those for whom fortune has gone and taken a great big dump all over them. These are the people that were […]
hi.sorry for my bad english beacause it’s not my first language.
i’m from turkey .i’m 21 years old male and i am(was?) university student .i have AD/HD(focus problem) and serve social anxiety. ihave gone to doctors here they gave me some drugs like fluxetin and propranol and some others but all of them were useless.also my doctor told me nealy all of my problems are from fear from soicety.
i came to this site about 3 month age searching about suicide and now i’m some kind of addicted to it. i check it every day and i don’t know why!!
all of my life i […]
”You can’t have friends!This is impossible for you!” Â
That’s what my brother said in a rude tone.I can’t stand this ************.
If I think about it,he’s right.I’m too difficult…I’m a freakÂ
What have I become?Why am I this way?I don’t have a fucking idea! I can’t find peace.Sometimes I think I’m cursed
I really don’t understand myself. I just got back from my Prom, and I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I expected, but that’s because I had no expectations at all! Anyway, for some of it, I was really really happy and I danced and laughed and had a lovely time. However, for other parts, I just sat staring into nothing and feeling numb and wanting to die. This also happened whilst I was on the dancefloor, and I just stayed there awkwardly dancing and wondering how easy it would be to just do it at that exact moment, like jump from the […]
i will never understand someone who can say someone else is judgmental and that person themselves are. My sister judges me a lot. She calls me a jerk, mean, emotionless everything, and i dont understand why. She doesn’t know what i went through everyday at school. Do i think im a jerk and all that? No! And if i am then i don’t mean to be. Everyone has their off days. it just pisses me the freak off when she says that stuff about me. I feel like she doesnt even know anything about me or my life, or the things i go through, and she has the nerve to sit […]
I’m a monster. I destroy everything I touch. I’m a freak.
These are the thoughts that have plagued my mind for the past two years. It all started when I lost my best friend in 9th grade. After she joined band, we got into different social groups. I always had issues with making new friends, so I became her “stalker”. She began to distance herself from me, and I began to threaten to cut myself to get her to talk to me. At first the threats weren’t serious, but threats always turn into promises. When the cuts eventually lost its effectiveness, I began making suicidal threats. […]
Blood running down my arm.
I wonder if it was ment to be.
Why did he do this to me.
Scars show my life.
The pain I have suffered.
People say i’m a freak.
But it only shows that i’m weak
I’m only 13 years old and I self harm myself almost everyday. It all
when I was only 2 years old matter of fact I was not even 1. My
mother got MS and she lost her legs. The older I got the worst
everything become. I never went on a field trip or went to a friend’s
house to play. I had friends but the older I got the worst of friends I
got like the druggies, whores, bullies, liars, and abusives. When I
was in 6th grade I found a boy I liked tall, rocker, handsome, and
sweet. It was a thursday morning in the hallway when some of my
friends […]
i dont know how i can go through days anymore the friends i suposily know are all smart goodlookin talented at somethin they always have a girl chattin em up and shit sendin them calls texts while i have barly any girls who would even look at me in the hallway iv left my phone on for few days to see the loser who i really am not one single female texted me or “friend” calld me. i used to be great at sports was startin linebacker got respect from fellow men around me and varsity wrestling and used to be outgoin wouldnt care then […]
I can’t do it anymore. I’m just fucking tired. I’m tired of having to wake up everymorning and pretend that everything is okay. People say that in not alone, then why do I feel like I am alone? I just hate everything. People judge me and they don’t even know a thing about me or half the things I’ve been through. I just want to get away from everything…just away from the world. Months past and I still feel the same way. They say everything will get better soon, years has past and it’s gotten worse. The pain has gotten worse. I try putting a […]
Yes life can be difficult, I won’t deny that. We do go through our good times and bad times. Ive had depression for 2 years and still trying to heal from it. I used to cut myself, which eventually made me feel worse. I never really had friends that I could talk to, so basically I thought that I was complettely alone. Then I realized that i’m not, because I have people at my church that I can talk to and God. Oh btw i’m 15 and my name is Deana. For the people suffering from depression try to look at all the positive stuff […]
someone very close to me decided to tell the school i had a hitlist (which i didnt have) they found the pot i bought instead sent me to counseler after sduspending me and pressign charges so i decided to answer eveything truthfully and i showed my cuts and burns and they are now makeing me do counseling after trying to put me in a psych ward and i honestly cant take shit anymore they treat me like im some kind of fucking freak in a circus i want out i just cant fucking do this shit anymore
For the past 2 years, I’m 14 by the way, I’ve been dealing with depression. Major depression. I remember even when I was 12, when everything started- there would be voices in my head that called me so many things that it would be impossible to get them out. Even with counseling, no matter what I poured out it was never enough. There was this big empty gap in my soul and every second, every minute, and every hour of my life it would just keep getting bigger. Last year, I found myself completely gone. I went hysteric and I tried to commit suicide. The […]
🙂 you see that? Thats my face. All day. Every day. I put it on in the morning and it only varies a little. I hold everything in. Keep it away from my friends. They dont need to be worried. Because as time comes to show, once people know what face truly lies behind the lies they freak out and send you out to the hospital for a month again. So fuck it. I’ll just push it all back, then let it all out through my wrist at night. So far it’s worked alright. I’m doing just fine. Or so I say. I can even […]
There have been several good episodes in my life, but as I look back I realize that the good ones would last just for a little while and the worst ones go on for years or will be there for the rest of my life.
A little more than 8 years ago I had a terrible car crash – I should be grateful about having survived with almost no injuries, but sometimes I wish I had died instantly instead because even prior to that I was a lonely freak and later on everything just got worse and worse.
So then I went to university and slipped deeper […]
You always hear people say that, “You’ll be accepted by being yourself,†right? Well,… IT’S WRONG!!! People would only accept you by being like everyone else. They always say that, you’re an anti-social freak or a messed up person am I wrong. Should we live up to other people’s expectation? Should they accept you by using you? Should you change yourself because you’re desperate to be accepted and to speak out on your own? That’s the quest/journey that I never accomplished from my life and still now. I do know that there are others that are doing the same. I understand. The confusion, the depression, […]
It’s been at the back of my mind for a while. But now I’ve come to realise that it’s more than just suicidal thoughts. I’ve gotten to a point where I just have this really strong feeling that there’s something not right about me being alive. It’s not a result of bullying or any sort of trauma, it’s just a feeling, a really strong one. Over the past few weeks I’ve been putting myself through relatively dangerous “tests” to see whether I belong here or not. So far, I’ve survived them (clearly) but they’re not enough proof for me that I belong anymore. I just […]