stop all of the dreams,
and start all the nightmares,
Listen, to them scream.
but nothing is there,
your all I’ve got,
your my only hope.
but now even you
seem to be cutting the rope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it’s a fucking mess
and there’s no escape.
my wrists are red.
someone save me.
drowning in this sea,
this sea of blood.
death stole innocence,
with the bang of a gun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with every breath you take,
you want to stop it all.
the blade is your friend,
it helps you when you fall.
love is a joke,
your only love is rope,
it made you a […]
Tag:
Fucking Mess
I’m not a bad person but I am a fucking mess.
For years I have lived my life with no goal, no direction. I got through high school, finished college, got a job, an apartment but I never felt like I am doing anything worthwhile with my life. I survive. That’s all there is. All these years i have lived without consequences. I am a lose rocket that’s barely steered yet I still managed to not hit anything. Until recently. In another act of self destruction, I walked into a situation which I knew was gonna be trouble. The results did not surprise me. I ended […]
Me?
I am a 14 year old girl in the verge of giving up her whole life away. I don’t seem to sound like Amanda Todd or any other teenage obsessed love seeking little *****. But there’s nothing left in my life I can hold on to. Everything around me feels so bland. I don’t tend to have reasons for what I do. There is not purpose left for me. I am tired, and lonely.
I am a child abuse case, ever since I was 9 year old my parents started abusing me. Beating me up to shreds, channel their frustration in me. I lost my […]
I got kicked out of my moms house a year ago, and the day since my life hasn’t been the same. I’ve been out for a year now because I called her a ***** because she was being one. That’s it…kicked out for over a year for saying “stop being a ***** for 2 minutes”. I moved in with my grandma (worst fucking decision I could ever make). Day after day of being out in the country away from my friends and family, it hasn’t been the same. I lost all of my friends, and since she’s 5 miles away its a hassel going to […]
Damn. I thought I was getting back to recovery but after today I really want to kill myself. My mum says she doesn’t want me as a daughter, although to be quite honest I am used to that, she says it everyday. And then my fucking sister decides to join in and tell me how much of a messed up fucking brat I am. Well I’m sorry. I’m selfish, mean, harsh, not pretty at all and a fucking mess up accident. Why does this happen… Then she started talking about my friends and how one of my friends is the reason I’m messed up. They […]
When I see movies or commercials or websites that ‘help’ people with depression, I cry. Because I believe that only some people can get out of this horrible fucking mess and be happy. I call them ‘The Lucky Ones’. I don’t dare believe that everyone can get out. It’s sad, but it’s true. I mean, I’m never going to get rid of my depression. And I sure don’t want to take pills to try to make it go away. The pills will just make me a fucking empty doll. I rather the pain than nothing at all. I’m going to die this way. Maybe whoever’s […]
I am NOT a fuck up. I do care. I care so fucking much. I know I don’t have scars on the outside, but inside I’m torn to shreds. Don’t you dare say you understand. NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS. I will not be dropping out of school. I will not be failing. Will you all just stop talking about it please and let me be alone?
Yes, my grades are absolute and complete shit. I realize that. No I don’t know how I’ll get them up, but will you SHUT THE FUCK UP?! Okay, I need help, I realize that. But I don’t need you. I need […]
Does death have to be such a stigma ? If I choose to go can my loved ones be satisfied knowing that peace is with me (I hope) and I no longer suffer the unbearable, day to day mental obfuscation my own mind commits yet is self unrecognizable while it’s happening and too late to matter enough after the fact ? That has been my struggle since I was 18, I suppose, I’m 26 now and I’m ready to join the 27 club(if I get there). Everybody has their problems I suppose and I am no different, however I do feel like a 1 in […]
Im so freaking tired of having to fake my way through life I go to work and have to pretend im fine cuz if anybody there knew the truth ( i hate myself and want to die) they would never trust me again and wouldn’t let em do my job the only thing I have in my life that actually keeps me grounded I fucking hate my life why can’t i be a better person I mean what the hell is wrong with me that when I got frustrated at work today my first thought was to strangle myself and my second was to chop […]