I am all alone and no one really seems to care at this point. NO i am not an attention seeker and NO i do not want to be helped if you don’t care and you feel like its the “right thing to do” I have had it with people putting pitty on me. I do not believe that I should be looked upon as a “mentally ill person” I am fucked up just fucked up and I will never get better. I am going to try and attempt today. I’m sorry that no one seems to comment or notice. I just need help and […]
Tag:
get better
Ever since I was 13 I had sucicidel thoughts, I would cut almot daily, I was pretty much on my own and I would barley say a word, I’ve also atempted suicide but by destiny’s hand I still alive. I saw this as a sign, that maybe things in my life would get better, all the wrong would turn right and the darkness in me would fade. My depression and anxity where disapearing my problems didn’t seem so big any more. I’m 19 now and I feel as if nothing has changed, I feel that I was lieing to myself. My dad would take his frustration […]
F is the cruelest letter
It tells you that it will never get better
That you are, and always will be
A failure, don’t you see?
This is your destiny, preordained
Molded by your own hands that have stained
Yourself, and everything around you
A deep, twisted blue
So do not aspire, do not dream
For life does not burst at the seams
With joy, mirth and green
Because for you, only one thing is foreseen
An end, a quiet end
So that you may send
Yourself to deepest black
Which shall take all that you lack
And consign it to silence
A most fitting penance
For a fool such as you
About a year ago I got high and bullied a friend. I hurt her so bad that she attempted suicide then I felt really bad and have been depressed/suicidal ever since. I have moments in school where just like whatever and go into the bathroom and cut myself. It also doesn’t help when someone sees the cuts and tells people. I felt as if I dug a 100 foot hole I can’t get out of. My life is done. It won’t get better.
Edit: I forgot to say I’m also bullied and have been since 4th grade (currently in 8th) and its hard to deal with […]
Hi, my name is Melissa. I’m very new to this, I just wanted to share some stuff about my life.
Ever since I was little my mom and dad always had problems so, they’d fight a whole lot and my mom would kick my dad out of the house. My mom would kick my dad out of the house, because he’d always be drinking, and they were always fighting with eachother. I remember hearing my mom cry outside at 3 in the morning, my dad going outside and asking what was wrong when he was the problem.
I would get depressed, because my dad was […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA1Xvgauffc
Let me begin to say that my stomach is in knots. Just the thought of killing myself makes me want to throw up, yet all I think about is killing myself. The fact that I will never be happy and “normal” (if you must use that word) again frightens me. I want to get better so badly and yet I am still the same person who won’t ever do well in life, I am always going to be the person I have always been. A monster, a monster is the best way to put it because I scare everyone and my sadness and feelings I […]
I’m so fucking ugly.
No, stop. Don’t think about it.
I don’t feel anything.
Yes I do.
I can feel everything.
Just shut your fucking mouth if you don’t know what to say.
I don’t need your words, they won’t cure me.
If you want to help let me talk.
Stop trying to promise it’ll get better.
Stop trying to make everything simple.
Stop trying to belittle the situation.
I need help, I get that.
Thinking positive, I haven’t heard of that before, I’ll do that.
Having fun, I’ll give it a go.
But,
it doesn’t feel fun.
Please don’t ask me what’s wrong.
Don’t […]
let me first say hello to those who know me and know that I am well..
I know that I haven’t posted here in a while but I feel it is in need for me to post.. I am here because well I have not found that reason yet and well I do not plan on it. My story is complex and no one seems to understand that it will never get better for me. I know that it had been a long road for me and I have been fighting for so long to keep on going and well I think that my fight is […]
TRIGGER WARNING
So I guess here’s a little about me. I choose not tell my age because I feel that just gives a reason for people to tell me that I have a long life ahead of me and things will get better and yada yada all the bullshit I’ve heard my entire life. Anyway, I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety since third grade as well as self harm and an eating disorder since fifth. I’ve attempted to kill myself twice before, the first one was not serious and I was in 8th grade and my mom found me and forced me to take […]
dear sp, i just wanted to come and give an update on my current situation. things have been really sucky and i cannot seem to get ahead. the days are not bad cause i have places i can go, and things i can do. i am able to get on sp from our workforce computer but not at the librarey. they block it for some reason. its been two weeks now sleeping in the car in a walmart parking lot, and it is taking a serious toll on me. tanked really bad yesterday, and was not any better this morning. had decided to return the […]
i wanna die now! i have nobody, no body to listen to me, i dont even know how to talk about my feelings anymore. i dont know why i keep coming to these sites, its all soooo…. artificial. so mechanical, so impersonal, so dehumanizing…. and yet its all i have. unless tonights the night. my moms dying of cancer, she’ll be gone soon, i cant do that to her, not until shes gone…
but once shes passed away ill be free…. free to end my misery, free to leave this place. dont tell me to be strong, i’m stronger than most, my great strength is whats […]
Thet is hard to imagine, in the thick of a depressive moment that emotions can lift and the depression can leave. After years and y,ears dealing with my depression, I find this is all too true! But we must remember, esp in the middle of an episode that it can change and it can lift!
This morning started out rough, last night’s depression continued to linger. I HAD to go to work, I wanted to go to work, but my heart was really back in the muck. So much so that when a lady asked me for a ride, I was mad. Oye. Not like me. […]
Hey again. So most of you guys said to try to talk to my parents and possibly change schools or go to a counselor. Good advice but what I left out was I would talk to my parents, and they really would try to help me as much as possible, but they are the kind of parents who would be super concerned and constantly on my case. They are like that even when I’m just sick. I know some of you might say they might be calmer or understand, but they just don’t know when to let it go. I feel like telling anyone will make […]
I’m the reason why my parents may get a divorce soon.. the only thing that’s holding this family together is my soon to be seven year old brother. Listen, I’m not overreacting or anything when I say this, my family hates me. Because I’m pretty sure that most families don’t call their daughters/sons: tramps, sl*ts, wh**es, and other things like that…
When I was in the eighth grade I was put into an actual public school; I thought everything would turn out alright. I thought everything would go the way I wanted it to. I was wrong. Not even a month of school had passed before […]
If I truly wanted to kill myself I think I would have done it by now. It has been on my mind for years now, but I just keep lying to myself that things will get better. I am constantly fixing one problem in my life just for another to arise. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am out of options.
Today..
Today I decided I would throw away my blade and try and get clean for a friend.
I promised him a long time ago I would stop cutting, I never fulfilled my promise to him.
Today I decided this time I am going to try and stop cutting for him…..again
I am going to try and get better, and not let the crushing thoughts at 2 a.m get to me
I will be clean of self harm scars again
I will try and win this fight, instead of letting it suffocate me
Christmas without you is hell…..we never had family to have over, or the money to have the “average” Christmas……but I miss going out of my way to get you a lot of nice gifts, because I enjoyed seeing you smile. And it always made your worthless scumbag of a husband angry bc the only reason why he even got that $10 gift card is bc you made me get him something…..a pile of shit in a box crossed my mind a few times……as crappy of a mother as you were, I always loved you with all my heart. You were my bestfriend. I knew you […]
So hey I’m new here so please don’t judge me with what I post.
I’ve had suicidal thoughts since sixth grade. I’m now in tenth. I’ve kept telling myself to not worry that it will get better. That’s only a lie though. It’s gotten way worse. Especially high school. This past year I’ve made mistakes and I’ve trusted the wrong people. I was bullied on Ask.fm because of it. It got so bad that I wouldn’t get out of bed. I just cried all day. Every time I get a notification from it I jump. I’m scared to death that it’s going to be hate or […]
at least thats how i feel, this is probably selfish, if not mean of me to even think, but hes wrong. everything is always worse to begin with but it can get better. if he isnt willing to get help hes gonna end up putting a weight 10x the one hes scared of on everyone’s shoulders. he won’t get better till he gets help. and until then hes a corpse waiting to happen. i need him to get help. i had to do it when i felt like i couldn’t. he’ll always feel like he can’t until he does. once he does he’ll see the need to. his family can’t feel the weight yet but i can. […]
I was once a very active user on this sight, It was here I came when I was at my lowest point. I came here, like i believe many others did, in search of a good, solid method and also a partner. In my worst moments this sight was there for me, when nothing else was, when there was no one to talk to in my life this place offered a sympathetic ear that both understood my thoughts and offered no judgment, only advice, support and love. I have met some of the best people on the world here. Learned more about life and myself from them […]