I have done everything i wanted to do.
I got a decent job.
Some materialistic desires.
The guy.
Money.
And repect?
Its not enough. I dont feel anything. In fact i feel worse.
Instead of climbing out of the hole im just making it deeper.
Tag:
Goals
How come when I set the goal to kill myself and begin working towards it I have this feeling of drive and passion, but when I set any other goal and work towards it, it feels like a waste of time.
I’ve begun taking inventory of everything I own. I’m building a simple website to list everything so I can sell it. The idea is instead of placing a million classified ads, I just post a few and link back to my site for a complete list of what’s for sale. The money earned should help me correct my finances. I don’t want to leave any […]
today marks the 4 year mark of when me and my friend Hunter met… I still remember how we met. I tweeted saying “happy 6 year anniversary Mean Girls!!” and he replied with “On Wednesdays we wear pink” and instantly we started following each other on twitter and got to know each other really well. We were really close for 3.5 years. I was there for him when he got disowned by his parents and family, I was there when he had his heart surgery and almost died, I was there through 3 of 5 rehab trips, I was there to help him plan his […]
I don’t know what to do with my life. I did really well in school in engineering, but it just isn’t for me. I have never found a good job in it and even when I do, I reach a point where I am no longer interested in it and I want to ditch it and do something else.
I no longer work as an engineer. I work in a lab doing a job that anybody could do. But I want to do more with my life. Maybe that is why I am on this site. I want to make a difference in someone’s life and […]
I feel so good! For those of you who read my last post… Today I went to that party anyways. I went by public transport with my slippers, then I changed it to heels once I reached there. And actually the public transport is not so bad… and I hanged out with my friends and we enjoyed.
I have learned that life is all a choice.
Mortal/physical death is destined, but happiness is a choice.
As for me, I will not choose to die. No more sitting around and dying all day. I will survive, find my way out and achieve my goals.
I remember when I was about to graduate from high school, so happy,full of energy and ready to do everything to get to my goals and i entered university, I felt in love madly and she broke my heart but I managed the pain, it couldn’t break me and started new relationship but didn’t end up well, but I healed my wounded heart i faced with problems and kept my hopes alive but now that I compare my current problems with mentioned failures, I laugh at them. Now and after some years, I’m totally alone, with no one around me,no friends, lost my job and […]
Sunday Night Ramble: Goals, gore and guilt. And fucking children. (Not literally, mind you)
by khajiit
written by khajiit
There is no goal that I have yet to discover that would possibly seem realistic, rational or even in the name of “good†whether that be for myself or for others, that would compel me to keep living.. I have never particularly strived to improve the quality of life for others so it is only selfish and hypocritical of me to complain about my own degraded, dull, lifeless existence.
The criteria and fulfillment that many people seem to have and encourage hold no meaning to me. I don’t see the motives or reason behind such actions or choices that would justify its rationality. One of these […]
So today i almost broke down it was a tough day and it’s lke i can feel that tommorows gonna be a tough day too but i’ll survie right?? i mean i kinda have too. tommorw goals:
surive ( i have a sleepover with my friend if you look back at some of my earlier post i talk about her and yes she is the one who was calling em names adn stuuf but she said she wants to put in the past and that shes really sorry and that her parents might be getting a divorced so she took it out on me but i […]
I’m so tired of being alive. Everything is so pointless. Nothing matters. We’re just a tiny speck on a speck of a planet in a speck of a solar system in one tiny galaxy among trillions and trillions and trillions of galaxies. Nothing makes a difference in the long run.
What happens right now will affect your life, but it won’t make a big difference. Sure, it might a few people, but what does that matter? We’re just numbers on a gravestone. My insignificant life doesn’t matter, but I should at least be happy, so I can enjoy it just a bit while I’m here. Right? […]
I am a 40 year old married father of 2 piece of shit. I have been trying to kill myself since the age of 8 and never finished the job because I am afraid. I am diagnosed w/ bi-polar disorder/PTSD/ADHD. I am unemployed and draining the life out of my family. I have no purpose on this earth, no talent and no drive. I am on 6 medications and my wife has been stealing my anti-anxiety, ADHD and sleeping meds. When I confront her she just denies everything and says I’m crazy. I may be emotionally disabled, but I am not retarded, so […]
I’ve never really set goals for myself…mostly because since I was 14 I have always seen myself commiting suicide at a young age and dying young. I fight every single day not to kill myself because it just seems like my destiny…..
Recently I have been thinking a lot about my situation and what could have helped me not turn out this way. I realize that a lot of my behaviors are because of the abuse of my childhood. I have spent many years thinking that i was defective, crazy, beyond help and basically just irreversibly fucked up. I know that other people feel that way. […]
I want to rid myself of all my pain. Just thinking about tomorrow honestly makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the most disgusting  thing I’ve ever felt in my life, and sometimes I can’t help but think about it at night and cry, because I keep feeling it over and over again. I lie there staring into nothing, my mind wondering off into tomorrow, and I feel sick.
I don’t have my friends anymore, and as cold as it sounds, they were nothing more than distractions, anyway. People that kept my mind occupied with something other than my own misery.  Yet, I still yearn for that false reality, that […]
For the past few months, I’ve been lonely and depressed. I’ve wanted to kill myself. And I know this might sound stupid, but when my mom said I could go to a Justin Bieber concert with my friends, I found a reason to live.
Yeah, who wants to live for a Justin Bieber concert? Some might think he’s stupid or gay, but for me, when I hear something that’s going to come out soon from him, it just seems like a sign to continue living.
I’m not sure how long my happiness will last, I’ll still stay depressed most likely, but now I’ve made two goals. These […]
In fact, I’m an introverted person and prone to analyzing everything in my life. I always think over and over again about my mistakes, about what I should do and what I shouildn’t do, I always analyze my life. Sometimes I can’t sleep, because I think too much. I’m shy and I experience lack of self-confidence. I live like a vegetable. I want nothing, I have no goals, I don’t want to do anything. I’m 22 years old and this summer I’ll graduate from the university, but I don’t know what to do with my life…I’m depressed for a long time, I suppose approximately 9 […]