I really don’t want any of you guys to feel sorry for me I just really need to vent about the way I’m feeling right now. I’m 18, I have people I can call friends but none I can have a real conversation with. At one point of this year I was able to call the girl of my dream my gf. Now I lost her and really dont know what to do. I know people would say she’s just another but she is not, not to me. Daina I know that most likely you won’t see this but I need you I really do. […]
Tag:
God
I’ve officially just failed my family and God and everything else in between. I don’t deserve a single second I’m awake.
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
CD 1, Track 5. On media player sounds better. Will I ever in optimum sound. Let’s come get it.
by Bisban
written by Bisban
Abra. The sound of peace.
A Gengar, in a speed of chaos.
Cosmic Cain, and Cosmic Abel.
Humanity. Oh, humanity.
Chapter one of God, yet to be written.
The New Age Bible, speak of today’s devil.
There once was a crusade. Long, long ago.
The belief lost, but a child to believe.
The story… Of the unknown.
God; resuscitate, in the name of Death.
Chapter One, of God.
.. “Chained,” there once was an iron horse. He was born, in the world of Cain. Wishing, for only to rest.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
by niki
written by niki
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
I think I’ll try to give this life one more year…..I’ll be 60 next year on March 26th……that is, if God doesn’t take me on his own before then…………you see…..since Mom died about this time last year, I have no one who loves me and cares for me in the selfless way a mother or partner can…..and there is no one who wants or needs that from me. The lonely, solitary life that was chosen for me by illness is simply not any way for a “senior” citizen to live……I’m in that high risk category, by gender and age, for suicide. I cared for Mom as companion and helper/care giver […]
You’re not supposed to want things, because wanting makes you miserable.
Yet if you don’t want, you have no ambition. You can’t change a given thing unless you want it changed…
Me, I want but I don’t know how to achieve. I feel stuck. So very stuck. Wanting makes me unhappy because I can’t have what I want. I can’t do enough and be enough to get what I want.
And if I don’t want I will still be miserable, unless I accept of course but wouldn’t that be resigning? I just can’t accept things. The guilt is too much.
I’m so confused.
Is it ok to want things or […]
One hour. You said it was going to be ONE. FUCKING. HOUR. I waited and waited and waited some more, tried to call your cell & never got an answer. “I’m still here,” I said, “in case you forgot to come and pick me up.” I waited more, God knows I lost count how long.
I said to myself, Fine, if you don’t come and pick me up when you say you will, you can come and pick me up at the fucking morgue! I was tempted, just a bit, to walk out into oncoming traffic, or climb over the balcony railing and jumping off. But […]
… Sometimes i wish that this is all just a dream, but sometimes i wish that i don’t want to live in sin.
Many times disapointed, but I still stand tall.
Waiting for a miracle to bring me up. My eyes are seen my own truth in the world full of lies, oh God is there Hope for us, for us? Similar souls who try so hard – To live lie … I saw everythin but still stuck in prison wearing a chains, oh god can you hear me now? Where are you, i still wanna touch the edge of the greatness but i can’t […]
Yup. I’m giving up on the hope that anyone will tell Alexis to knock it the fuck off. No matter how many times I complain, or how many times I blatantly say I want to talk to the store manager about this and file harassment charges, nothing happens. He gets to go around telling people that he has an ex who’s pregnant. Well, guess who the first person people think of when he says “ex”…yup, me. Ok, I want this set straight. I’m a virgin. Never done it. Probably never will. Explain how I get pregnant…other than the God thing, but seeing as I don’t […]
i’m not mad at people. i’m not mad at the person who broke my heart. i’m not mad at my parents who were supposed to know that i’m not happy. i’m mad at God. it’s been two years that i’ve been feeling down. then you make me happy. very very happy. then suddenly, when i’m up there u crash me back down? i feel like an ant played by a 6 year old boy. ive prayed. LOTS OF TIMES. YOU NEVER LISTEN. so why should i pray still?????????
This is the Easter Season (50 days of Easter….it doesn’t begin and end on Easter Sunday).
I’ve been a Christian all of my life. And I am here to tell you that NO act of suicide is cowardice….it takes a strong person to overcome the natural instinct for self preservation and move on to the next life.
I’m 59 years old and I do NOT, for ONE SECOND, buy into the fundamentalist concept of hell. I was raised Southern Baptist and by the grace of God found the Episcopal Church in my early 40’s…after decades of self hate inflicted on me by the SBC. I didn’t develop suicidal ideation […]
I really need to inflict some sort of SH because I’m really struggling right now. It’s past midnight and my mind is heavy with negativity and darkness.
But the thing is, I haven’t done anything in just under 8 months.
I don’t know what to do.
God, give me strength.
I am here,because of one reason this is true “Love” I am strong I know this because I am also weak. Ive been through most of it,and seen alot heard most of it..I am 19 i’ve lived this life and keep living even though i’ve had my darkness and even when the light is in,theres always gonna be dark because ive learned “The sun cant stay out forever,but the darkness leaves always,and cant stay forever either” this is my story and yes it is true.
I found love at 16 a point in my life when I thought I was gonna give up and give in […]
im a religious girl i believe in God but right about now my life is not so easy my dads away and he was the only person that i felt good with i only see him once a year and i rarely talk to him on the phone my mom… my mom is harsh on me and i understand why but i just can’t take it anymore im sixteen but she treats me like im three i have no social life outside of school and social medias my friends and she’s so mean when ever she has a problem with someone else or something im […]
Are any of you depressed people experiencing not only depression, sorrow, and boredom of life but also HORROR? Is anyone experiencing trauma and panic from existing in a cruel and violent world? Afraid to wake up in the morning, afraid to exist, afraid of gods and devils? Do you feel like you are living in a horror movie? Fear of someone torturing you? For me life feels like the movie Saw with God being Jigsaw. I am trapped in a very evil body and if I want to get out, I have to literally cut myself out or do some other gruesome thing in which […]
I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!
by niki
written by niki
Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!
and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]
I tried hanging myself, did an overdose of prescriptions. Tried everything and I am still alive. Is it because I am too scared to go far or is it because I don’t really want to die. I wonder why life is so horrible. I am really religious. I used to think that God planned out our futures. I used to that God controlled everything. I used to think that God had the ability to make you happy but he doesn’t. If he really does have that power, why doesn’t he end my life right now. That would make me happy. If God meant for life […]
yes the world may be depressing and cruel.
yes people suck and will let you down, disappoint you, anger you, sadden you, and hurt you.
yes your own brain can become addicted to harmful substances and becomes astonishingly susceptible to psychological diseases that shorten your lifespan and ruin your body.
yes…….other stuff!
but thank God for the internet. where i can buy, look up, read, research, watch and communicate with just about anything at the click of a button.
thank you God for giving me the chance to live in the 21st century. also thank you for booze (thats been around for BILLIONS of years).