I came to the Golden Gate today, I had all the time in the world to jump and my hands just couldn’t let me go over the rails. I want to die, I want the end to come, but is it my survival instincts kicking in?
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Golden Gate
I’ve seen the documentary The Bridge many times. In spite of the miniscule risk of surviving the jump, it’s still a much more statistically successful method than pills.
Pills? Totally unreliable
Hanging? I couldn’t bring myself to do it
Gunshot? Way too messy….besides, I’m as anti-NRA as you can get.
Yes….I have a deep seated feeling the Golden Gate Bridge will be my method when I decide I really need to go, which I hope will be before I have to suffer another Holiday Season.
I made a preliminary draft of my Will and today I talked to my financial planners about how I want my IRA distributed. They have […]
So my boss just screwed me again today. Says no work for 3 weeks. I’ve been working overtime. Why no work. I have no car, no license. I’m unemployable. This shit gig is the only thing to pay the bills and there are lots from my framed dui charge last year. Thinks I have a bad attitude at work…he puts me down all the time. Hes like mr potter and scrooge make a baby every year around Christmas since his son died. I live a mile from work. They all say the same. Came home from working crying. Mom asked what’s wrong…told her. She […]
A few days ago I made an attempt and failed. Â Although the entire event was totally painless and quite peaceful I awoke about 30 minutes after only to find my body had apparently taken over using its’ reflexive ability to remove what was “causing harm”. Â I did not take this into consideration and therefore it serves as yet another example of my capacity to fail miserably. Â The end result was a massive headache which slowly subsided as the evening wore on and a persistent thought that I may have caused some sort of brain damage.
Having a bit of medical knowledge I performed self tests to […]
Here are some songs that I can relate to when I’m feeling depressed and suicidal.
Please leave a comment with your own suggestions so we all have something new to listen to!
Coming Apart (This video was loosely based on the story of Kevin Hines, a young man who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge)
Coming Apart Music Video. – YouTube.
Water Under The Bridge – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Because I attempted suicide, I really like the lyrics – “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-JodA2YcY
Gorilla Zoe Featuring Lil Wayne – LOST
“I’m losing my mind, […]
I have been depressed before and had thoughts of suicide, but the fact is that in life, you go through phases and cycles.
Some things might seem today to be SO BAD that you cannot overcome them- yet down the track they will go away and you will be able to look back on today’s situation with NO EMOTIONAL REACTION.
The key is that you need to hold out for that future instead of giving up.
IF you are running a long distance race, you can’t just quit halfway because it seems too hard.  The race is hard and unpleasant, but the prize is at the end and only if you […]
I hate it when people say suicide is selfish. People that I thought I could trust say suicide is selfish, cowardly and wrong. I don’t know why I call them back, I don’t know why I answer their questions and I don’t know how much longer I can fake this happiness. Sometimes I fantasize while I’m laying down, I get up grab a noose and hang myself. Other times I fantasize grabbing that gun and shooting myself. Lately I’ve been feeling really suicidal, I watched people jump from the Golden Gate bridge and boy was it amazing. No one has a right to tell me […]
So my last post here was this one
http://suicideproject.org/2011/11/tonights-the-night-i-guess/
Long story short, after writing that, I waited until midnight, walked out to the Golden Gate Bridge, looked over the railing, and got ready to jump. I waited until midnight because I didn’t want anyone to actually see me die, and I know that security around there tends to watch out for any potential jumpers. Anyways, so I’m standing there, trying to talk myself into finally ending it all, when some bicyclist on the other side of the bridge yells over “Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!”. Or something to that effect anyways.
I looked over at him, […]