I’m 32 years old. I have a good job and an even better spouse. I have thought about suicide everyday since I was about 6 years old. I have been sexually abused and raped. These things are far in the past. However, I HATE it when people blow smoke up each other’s butts all day and ignore any real feelings. I hate facebook because 1)I can’t stop 2) it has ruined my relationship with family members. I don’t feel like trying anymore and I certainly can NOT take another goddamn therapist or psychiatrist. I always feel WORSE after meeting with them because they say the […]
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Good Job
It`s 2:00 in the morning and I found this website by typing `my life is meaningless` in the google search engine. Maybe I should type a little about myself; I don`t know how this site works exactly. I`m going to turn 20 in the summer. I dropped out of university a little while ago, but that`s okay because there were so many things wrong with going in the first place. I went across the country a little while after that, worked a couple jobs and now here I am, back in my parents basement. I ticked the box `general`but maybe I`ll tick `rants` as well. […]
I feel the darkness closing in…but I
like it! I find comfort in things others
fear. Have I only now realized I’m the
square peg trying to fit into that
round hole? I’ve participated in
“normal life”, but I always feel
out of place. This is something that
has been with me since I can
remember (I’ll be 31 on wed.) Always
nipping at my heals, but not taking a
full bite…until recently. I see a dark
room, lit only with the pale light of the
TV. Me laying on the couch in cold
silence. No one around…just me with
my ever racing thoughts…blood,
flesh […]
I don’t know why but recently I do want to just disappear. Recently I have so much stresss from for finding a new job. Also my wife is not helping at all. She works, but she keeps on pushing me. To a point i just want to end it. Sometimes I just want a divorse and sometime I just want to end my life because of so much stress. I don’t know what I should do. Sometimes I pray that I won’t wakeup in the morning. That my life will end in my sleep. I don’t want to kill myself, because I think its wrong. […]
I don’t really believe my story is one of suicide. It’s more a story of depression, if it’s even that. I don’t really know what I feel most of the time, and I tend to revert to sadness. Often I find myself pondering reasons I have to be sad.
I have never been beaten by my parents, never been horribly embarrased by my peers, I have friends who I hang out with consistently, I have a good job, I am a smart young man, I have tutors in life, I have good health. So really there is no reason to be sad, right?
If that is true […]
i don’t have much to say, but the worst part of why i want to kill myself is that nothing bad has ever happened to me. nothing really bad. i have parents who love me. i’m engaged to be married. until recently i had a good job, but a job loss isn’t the cause of this, i’ve wanted to die since i was fifteen. whenever anything goes wrong in any capacity i think about it. i can’t stop it and i don’t want to think about it but i do. it’s selfish i guess, for attention maybe, but all the people that hurt me, i […]
I really have no excuse; I have a good job, one I worked hard to get, I have money in the bank and few debts. I am reasonably healthy, although a little overweight! I have two children, boys, one employed one in college. I even own my own home.
So let me tell you a tale of woe, and you can judge me for yourselves.
Fourteen years ago I lost my husband to a sudden, unexpected heart attack. My parents did not bother to offer support until made to by my siblings, who were great at that time.My boys were only six and two.
Then I found out […]
People used to tell me not to cry for someone, for they are not worth your tears. The one who was worth your tears would have never made you cry. I didn’t believe in that sh*t. I met this person, and fell madly in love with him because of how kind and caring he was. I was certain we would always be together, because we always talked about getting married and having kids. Mind you, I’m 16, and he’s 18. So yes, we were young. But I loved him. While we were together, I was constantly getting bombed by my all too perfect stepmother about […]
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