That’s what he said to me this morning when he broke up with me. We had been talking/dating for a few weeks and it was damn near perfect. I still had my moment but of course he didn’t know that. We had such a good night a nice long walk in the park a good meal and he took me to see the movie of my choice. We rented a room and we just hung out for the most part, but of course we did the deed. I was so happy and he seemed the same way, but when I woke up this morning I […]
Tag:
good
For all the OZ and NZ fans….good to se;e after 43 years the bunnies won!! Maybe some of us underdogs may take the same result as inspiration to further our lives…unless like me we’re too far gone 🙂
Some days I feel like my chest is being crushed by all the love and care I would have wanted to give someone. Even now my heart is drowning in a sorrow that has no stars, and no laughter and no sleep.
Some days I wonder if ppl just can’t see how wonderful they really are.. even burned out, or damaged.. There is such beauty in a strong beating heart inside a good person.
I’ve posted a few times, explaining how I tried getting through this and how I’m coping. I’m trying to be positive and focus on the small, good things in order to get by. But sometimes I have to ask myself, why? Why am I doing this? My life has been shit. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s been an uphill struggle since day one. I keep pushing on, keeping trying to find that light… But why? What is the reason for it? In the hopes that something will finally click and things will be better/good? That maybe one day I’ll be like everyone […]
This is my first post on this site, I’ve come here more than a few times to read your stories and poems when I need to cry or try and feel better. But today things are different.
I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 13, I’m 25 now.
As a kid, I was an elite athlete. I dove springboard and tower and I was really, really good at it. So good that at 12 years old I was already training 5 nights a week and had set a National record for my age group. Being so good brought a lot of pressure into […]
Rereading the title of this post almost makes me chuckle. The passivity inherent in it, that eventually I will do something, is the way i’ve been living my life up until this point. It’s part of the reason I want to end my life. But not the only reason.
The reason is, I have always felt outside of the norm. I’ve always felt rejected and set aside, despite being told I was loved, I felt somehow dismissed. I know that in school I was indeed rejected and set aside. I was a wierd kid. I can’t let go of the idea of what I used to be, […]
Im laying here in my bed. Wondering what kind of man i really am? I adore my children. I have a great job. My wife is good to me sometimes. Life shoukd be all dandy but its not!! My wife and i have been together for 7 almost 8 yrs. We fight alot and have grown distant, we differ on alot of things one being raising our kids theres her way(spoiling) then theres my way(stearn). Im blamed for being to hard on them because im the only one who is? Im the only one convinced im not a bad father. I fear my kids hate […]
I’m new and don’t really know how to do this so I’ll just keep it simple.
I have been battling the devil known as ‘chronic major depression’ since high school (I am now 22), social anxiety, and eating disorders. Last year I was at my lowest. Almost put a gun to my head twice before I scared myself and decided to try some help. I saw a counselor for maybe two weeks before I gave up going cause she didn’t seem professional, I was being a huge burden to my parents with the money and the worry, and she made me stay away when she […]
i love him a lot he too…but i become so dependent on him it disturbs his life he wants me to be independent but i couldn’t do that..i read many articles..i motivated myself to be independent of him but nothing gives success..i am working as a software engineer i am a passionate girl i love my job ..i have a variety of hobbies..good parents brother friends..but the new office environment and hostel environment makes me to feel lonely ..i couldn’t manage this loneliness that’s why become too much dependent on him and moreover he made me to be dependent on him..he voluntarily involved himself and […]
I’ve suffered from depression since I can remember.
I attempted suicide when I was thirteen. According to my mother, it was a phase.
I’ve been flirting with anorexia for years. That, she said, was a phase too.
But my mother was often naive about a lot of things.
Like her husband for example. He’s cheated, he’s lied, he hit her and sexually abused her.
My mom was ill. Most of what I remember of her was her being admitted in to hospitals. She was blind. I thought most of her ailments were due to the fact that she had diabetes since she was 11 years […]
Hey SP friends, just wanted to wish you all a good day (or night, wherever you are).
I don’t do this usually, but I’m feeling a bit better today, and I hope some of you are too.
I haven’t been here in about a week…mainly because I was feeling pretty good. A good level place. Today I was running on pure hyped up energy. Haven’t been eating all to well…and today I feel…too good. Does that make sense? Have you ever felt that way? I seriously feel like I’m climbing up a really tall tree right now. I keep looking down and seeing how far I’ve gone but keep going higher. I have the shakes. Nervous laughter keeps bubbling up my throat. I’m home alone and find myself moving from room to room because sitting in one place doesn’t feel good….even though […]
Yeah… Tonight seems good.
So many posts I read on here, so much loneliness, emptiness, self anger and hatred I wish I/we had the opportunity to meet one another and assist each other through these times. The powers that be know I can use a friend! Were all destined to die eventually its just getting through the “now” that’s so fukin difficult. I know I wish I had an understanding individual to chill with. Well back to my lonely world, to those that plan on killing themselves, good luck and to everyone else I hope you have an understanding friend to turn to!!! Good day all
I have depression. Everyday it’s a big struggle to get up and out of bed. Part of the reason is because it’s near impossible to fall asleep between the tears and the suicide plans I plan but am too tired to act out. I’ve been on antidepressants for 6 weeks but the give me horrible mood swings and have made me feel worse… I’ve stopped taking them until my doctor can prescribe me a new kind, but that’s not until next week… I’m tired all the time… Everyone says that it’s because the stress and anxiety from the depression tires you out… My ex boyfriend, […]
Anther year since I tried to kill myself. Life’s pretty good. I’ve been talking to one of my friends who recently expressed interest in me. I like them, everyone thinks they like me. But I’m scared, scared they do and scared they don’t. They have texted me into the night, they’re very sweet and considerate and they want to help me, but I’ve swallowed my secrets and depression for so long I can’t give them up. Life is pretty good. I still want to die. That irrational persistence is the mark of a true suicidal person, I think.
I need a plan. If I don’t […]
UGH. I hate myself so much right now. I had a lot of things going for me, an interesting job, a good education, friends….
But instead of being able to appreciate anything, I blew everything up in my face. I quit my job at the last minute (it was abroad), and have been hiding out in my room like a little *****. I’m just so depressed. And it’s happened before. It’s always so up and down. Left and right. I wish I had a better way of describing it than just, wow I fucked up. And I can’t take it back. I just hate myself and […]
cancelled my therapist appt today
then again, it probably wouldn’t have helped anyway
nothing will.
here’s a good song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE0L9EQAHk
“well my best friend took a bullet through his eye
first he had a patch, now he’s got a glass eye
one hard… glass eye
he says sometimes,
he wishes both his eyes were glass”
I usually wear heels and skirts to school, looking put together, but today I just didn’t feel like it. I showed up to school in sweats, vans, my pajama shirt and threw my hair up in a pony tail. This guy literally came up to me and said “Is that (my name)?” My outfit complexly represented me. Not a good day. Someone called me boring. He may have been joking, but I couldn’t tell. I don’t want to be boring, but even I seem boring to myself now.
xoxo,
It’s Only Me
This whole thing started about 5 years ago…i was 15 then…life started to hit me even harder than before…i grew with my grandparents,not so nice,they we’re always fighting over silly things,my grandpa was an alcoholic dog,my grandma was always nice,miss her btw ^^.I grew with my grandparents because my parents left the country when i was 8.So,after my 15 th birthday,you know,puberty,all of that shit,started to smoke,drink,party,it was good,you know,so good,until love started to hit me like an hurricane,i was so in love…she knew,i told her so many times,but she didn’t care…for 2 years i couldn’t stop thinking about her…that’s not nice…a few sleepless nights,drinking […]