another added to the list

I’m new and don’t really know how to do this so I’ll just keep it simple.
I have been battling the devil known as ‘chronic major depression’ since high school (I am now 22), social anxiety, and eating disorders. Last year I was at my lowest. Almost put a gun to my head twice before I scared myself and decided to try some help. I saw a counselor for maybe two weeks before I gave up going cause she didn’t seem professional, I was being a huge burden to my parents with the money and the worry, and she made me stay away when she said I should talk to someone else to see if I possibly had psychosis coming on, which I found to be such bullshit.
I have no friends. Unless you count this guy I met online and our conversations are your typical “hey how are you?” “good, you?” “good.” … yeah.
I spend my days in my room. With my cats. Drawing. Listening to music. Reading. Being lonely as fuck and wishing I had someone to smile at or just text when I’m feeling more worthless than the usual.
I’m trying to keep myself distracted, it’s the only way. But seeing as this lovely darkness is coming stronger and stronger by the day, I decided to post on here… I dunno. Be ready for some going advice, post my last minute desperate calls for help, or who knows? Maybe actually make a friend.
So yeah. Name’s Steph. I hate it but I guess that’s just the way this life goes.
Gonna go now. I’ll post something later. – alonewiththismess.