Well…, I’m not on as much anymore because my laptop isn’t working when I want it to and the computer we have is broken. Anyway, I have been writing a lot of poetry and been working on the story I was planning to write. It hasn’t been turning out that great so I stopped writing it and so now I’m working on something else.
Tag:
great
Why is it still snowing!? I’m in Michigan and I, more than ever, need some sunlight and some relief from the snow… but it just won’t quit. At least give me a good scary thunderstorm to appreciate.
Otherwise… I’m trying Lexapro and it’s taken a month to finally kick in (I think). I only realized it when I noticed I was humming a song at work. I never do that.
You’d think I’d be into the clear but I can’t seem to let my exit bag / tank go. I don’t want to get rid of it. It gives me strength and security to deal with my […]
Why is depression such a relationship killer? If I want a successful relationship am I just supposed to hide the depression completely? Past experience has shown me that this seems to be the only option. The problem being is that as you start getting comfortable around someone the shiny façade starts to slip and reveals the ugliness underneath.
I’ve tried letting them know ahead of time. That I suffer from depression. For the most part the meds manage it, but there will days where it gets through. “Sureâ€, they say, “everybody gets down once and while, no worries.†But when they actually see it, they learn that it’s […]
So, I’ve been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I was pretty sure I was suffering from this most of my life, just never bothered to get it checked. Why did I finally get it checked out? Out of love, but I don’t want to think about that…
75 apneas an hour. 30 is the threshold for severe apnea, so I have like super duper severe apnea. The doctor was surprised when he first saw me. He only sees that severe of apnea in the very obese, and I’m in no way a big guy.
Turns out I have abnormally large tonsils, so I’m probably going to have […]
Since reading and responding to posts here I’ve noticed everyone fits into their own category of what depression means to them. While many have always been down with bullying, financial hardships, abuse or mental disorders, others have complicated combinations of all of it.
Personally, I’ve had a taste of plenty of the aforementioned issues. I’ve also been fortunate enough to bypass most of it for a long time. I had a great stretch of happiness (the most I’m capable of harnessing). Now I’m at the point of needing to rebuild and raising up from depths of the worst depression yet.
Knowing where I’ve been, what it […]
I’m sorry I try to help others but I’m in the same boat!
I have my frustrations as well 🙁 it isn’t like it used to be ïŒ
The things I enjoyed have lost their luster!
Sex for example, yes I loved sex ok I love it a lot! But it isn’t like it used to be :(ïŒ
The naïve thoughts, the excitement! Have lost the shine, oh I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it :)ïŠ
But I’ve done it so many times this way that way, hell I belong to the mile high club! :)Try doing that today! Ha ha! Well I won’t go […]
I really don’t know what I expect to hear, but things are so hard.
I don’t want to say I am depressed. I just act depressed, but I don’t think I am really depressed, because my daily life is not crippled yet. Might be heading there though.
I was doing just fine. About to graduate school, stressed out because I was going to go into the real world and get ready to find a job in my field. Loans were about to kick back, but my little part time was enough.
My boyfriend was with me, so was my mother, father, friends, co-workers, advisers, professors, friends of friends. […]
… and it really helps with my depression.
I’m a 28-year-old living in Las Vegas. I was first “diagnosed” as clinically depressed when I was 12 years old; but I feel like I’ve been sad most of my life.
Up until recently, my life was completely shut down by my depression – I never got dressed, left my room, ate… there was some self-harm… I was consumed with thought of suicide and self-mutilation, but I managed not to act…
I entered out-patient treatment 3 months ago. On anti-depressants which seem to be helping… but, the real life-style change I’ve made is smoking weed from sun-up till bed time.
I’ve […]
Today my father finally texted me after weeks have gone by. I don’t think I’ve looked at him for a month or two now, but he finally texted me that he loved me and hopes I’m doing well.
Oh yeah I’m doing great. Just got one foot in the grave, that’s all. These nice long cuts in my leg are just beautiful. Want to proof read these suicide notes I wrote since you’re such a hotshot writer with a published book?
But you don’t come upstairs to look me in the face, do you? And you say you “care”?
Hahaha, oh boy. Don’t bother to see me now […]
I want to get out of all this pain… But for some reason i still hang on some hope and have been here longer than i thought. I will go soon… Could b tomorrow, next week, a month… Idk. Why do i still hold hope even though i know things (health) wont get better and i cant live my life like this. I had a great ride, and whats so wrong about ending it and not living through a painful life? Â Any thoughts ? Btw i think its everyones own right to do what they want with their livez, live or die.
There’s a fear inside of me that is ripping to get out. My heart races with every thought, my head pounds with the urge to shout. I am not in control and I don’t know how to find it. I’m living in a world where my reality is blinding. Manic and hyper I can’t satisfy the urges. I’m up and down an all around hurting. I’m dying on the inside and smiling on the out. I’m a great actress to show you what you need to see but then there’s you and for some reason you see me. That scares me a I don’t even […]
Today is some sort of miracle for people around here, because it’s almost 70℉ (that’s something like 21 â…‘ ℃) – a radical change from the wintery, disgusting crap we’ve been getting over the past few months. The sun actually exists now, and people are throwing Frisbees around campus (I was dumbfounded, too) just for shits and giggles, I guess. I’ve read journals that say that winter is typically a shit time for depression, because there’s no sun or Vitamin D or much else interesting in that area.
So, here’s to a less depressing spring. And summer, and whatever else there is.
Oh, […]
I was told my self deliverance would be a most selfish act. Â I was told I should think of my family and the loss they would feel.
I am,therefore , sorry that I must deprive my family of whatever delight they might have felt by watching me die a slow painful death. Do they really hate me so much that I must suffer daily to provide them with a pleasure so great that it exceeds the agony I must endure.
Why is their enjoyment in my suffering of more value than the one right I have left (the right to end my pain).
So I ask “Am i […]
 Beauty is not the goal of competitive sports, but high-level sports are a prime venue for the expression of human beauty. The relation is roughly that of courage to war.The human beauty we’re talking about here is beauty of a particular type; it might be called kinetic beauty. Its power and appeal are universal. It has nothing to do with sex or cultural norms. What it seems to have to do with, really, is human beings’ reconciliation with the fact of having a body
There’s a great deal that’s bad about having a body. If this is not so obviously true that no one needs examples, […]
I am sick of this world. I have so many great things In my life, so many great people but I can’t appreciate them, I can’t even be happy with them, i only cause them pain, so why do I deserve to be here? I see a therapist, he put me on antidepressants and sleeping meds, I hate taking those pills, makes me feel like I’m crazy, everybody asking me how I am, like a child.
My friends are starting to get fed up, they say they arnt but I’m not stupid, I can tell, I am throwing it all away. My family don’t know me […]
Pushing 50 and have discovered (though known all along) that work is all I am. I had two real goals in life: have a job I would do for free and marry my best friend. I got the great job and then really set out in pursuit of that best friend. Along the way, not only did I fail at goal #2, but I found I simply lost interest in life, thus losing my love for my current (or any other) job.
Today, at work, it has really been brought home to me how badly I’ve fallen down on things at work. I’ve had the means […]
It gives you an opportunity to overcome a challenge that will only make you stronger if you allow it to.
It teaches you that it’s impossible to please everybody in this world.
It allows you to realize what others feel when they get rejected.
I got attacked with lots of rejection today but……I’m proud to say that it did not attack my happiness……Today was a great day.
“Don’t let rejection steal your happiness”
Hello…First and foremost, I sincerely apologise for having another post already. It is probably quite rude to post again so soon, but so far this isn’t a great night and I just need to talk to someone. Again, I apologise and realise that it is rather rude to post twice within one night.
So I got finished talking with Her, and she says that I should date my close friend mentioned in my other post from tonight. She says that my friend could give me the affection and attention I want, and she says she can’t provide either of those, even if she wanted to. I […]
just siting here. blade in hand. unsure wether or not i WANT to feel that great release. that’s different. to want something. I’ve never wanted to, just had to. and now I can decide.
This is what I was told today:
Calculus isn’t even difficult, but fuck that. It’s gonna get harder, and…you should switch your major. There’s physics, (which requires Calculus II), and statistics, and linear algebra, and you suck at math. And algorithms and data structures are math classes; and so is foundations of computer science.
Yep, great way to live life. If it’s hard, fuck it. Every rational person does that.
People suck. Way to be supportive.