Friday night I was really lonely and texted everyone I know who goes to my college to find someone to hang out with, or even just to come outside for a little bit to have a cigarette. It wasn’t that late, around 11, and not one of the 10 people I texted wanted to or could. Then one friend texts back and invites me to his friends. We just played pong and drank beers all night, and eventually my friend went home; his other friend was going to walk me home because it’s not a good area to walk around alone. It’s around 2am, his […]
I know I’m fat and ugly but why can’t he just hang out with me and get to know me? He complains about being alone when he knows I’m totally there for him. Again I’m almost 40 and I’m sick of this shit. I really want out.
Last night i tried to hang myself.
I did evrything right. No one was home, took the rope, tied it perfectly on the support. And did a slip knot on the other end. Put it across my neck and jumped. I felt myself going unconsious. And them black. All i could see was blackness. A few minutes later i regained consciousness. Evrything around me was moving, couldn’t even stand up. After like 10 mins or so i stood up and realised that i somehow managed to get myself off the noose. And my head swollen, neck swollen too, and my face it was like all the […]
My life’s not really going anywhere. I’ve got a lot of debt, no good job prospects, and I’ve given up trying. Some of my friends keep trying to help. Words of encouragement that by themselves don’t do jack fuck to change reality, A couple links to some stupid career builder websites and suggestions to keep checking Indeed, as if I haven’t done similar things or thought of that already. Yes, it could work eventually, maybe, but there’s more than that. I want a lover… Just, I’m tired of wondering how much longer I have to deal with this bullshit. So, I’m going to try to […]
I once had a friend who came over my house just to hang out with his other friends who live near me. This is the story of how I found out. I will be Jack (not my real name), the other kid who I found from with be Sam, and the asshole will be Steve.
Sam: “Yo, Steve is an asshole.”
Me: “Why he is kind of my friend.”
Sam: “Well he went to us and said ‘I don’t like Jack can I hang out with you guys instead?’ So we said ‘No you’re an asshole don’t talk to us.’”
See? Never trust friends, they may be assholes.
What’s worst, having friends knowing there there then them leaving you. Or never having any real friends.
So, my only actaul friend that I have, is embarrassed to tell people that we hang out. I kind of picked up on this a few months ago when a few of her other friends didn’t like me so for a while she wouldn’t talk or hang out with me. Then she started messaging me to come over to my house to drink all the time, and that’s about it. Any time I offered her to come with me to the mall or movies, she’d tell me she’s busy. Eventually, I found out that she blew me off to hang out with people who strongly […]
I never haven’t had a chance to tell very many people about this, but I am into something which is known as autoerotic asphyxia and it is not easy to talk about this and unlike other people who claim to be into this claim that it gives them a “high” and they don’t really want to die, but I think that’s bullshit and they are lying! With me, when I get hit with this intense desire, I don’t just want to experience a “high”, but I actually want to hang myself! Also, I want to be totally nude when I hang myself and then I […]
heres my story:
I am an 18 year old girl with very few friends. I just dropped out of college and moved back in with my mom because I have no where else to go. I dropped out of college because I fucked up my grades. I’ve never had many friends, I went to 4 high schools because I was always moving.
My mom and I fight a lot. I found a job but I have no one to hang out with. It’s depressing. I am tall, slim and pretty with long hair. I am super shy and it’s hard for me to talk to people. Guys […]
Hey everyone. My last post is Urgent Please Read! if you wanna see my whole story. Anyways I really just want to die now. My parents are so freaking annoying, my friends all hate me b/c of a stupid rumor and now my sister doesnt like me anymore. Why? Well we used to hang out every week. Then she got a job working for a family of millionaires. They have a daughter my same age. They do EVERYTHING together. Now we only hang out maybe once a month. She never invites me to do anything and she gets mad whenever I say something. No this is […]
Hi again.
Today was pretty stressful, as are most days. I feel like I’m writing to a diary but people are actually commenting, so that makes me feel a little better about it. In the last post I used initials for the people’s names in case they find this and try and do something about it. My ex-best friend are out for blood, and it’s not their own.
Basically, my friend T is actually my friend, but I found it out a little later on. This morning she was hugging one of my friends and I walked up to her and she walked straight past me like I wasn’t […]
i feel really shitty lately… I don’t know why i hang out with douchbags. i hate the fact that I have fake friends, judgmental parents, stressful teachers,and people who brake your heart around me.
I need to stop this.
Cutting. Not eating. Sleep deprived.
I need to snap out of it. But how?
I need your help, please help me. I need you.
I. Need. You.
Well. I’m afraid I’m going to lose a friend to suicide, no matter how hard I tried to make him see otherwise. It’s ultimately his choice. And I’m not gonna force him to change. But the more I think about why I’m still here myself, is I just don’t have the damn luxury to commit suicide like some of the lucky people do. I just don’t have the luxury. I have too many people to take care of. And if I didn’t have one scrap of love for them, then I’d say fuck off and then hang myself like I always think about. But I […]
Can I come over and hang out, then =/
Who wants to come to California n hang out with me :o(
Yet again, I don’t know why I keep posting here while I can just do it and get it over with but I got exhausted already of trying to hang myself over 10 times today exploiting the chance that my brothers are out and only me left home and I wanted to talk to someone about my failure. As much as I’m committed to dying I don’t want to feel so much pain in my windpipe (swallowing) while trying to hang myself. Maybe I’m doing it wrong? It’s partial suspension I’m attempting and by a belt. My larynx seems to be the only problem that […]
I’m so sick of being literally ignored by the people around me of these extreme feelings. Literally ignored. I say something, and they act as if nothing was said. I attempted suicide before, and I want to do it again. I do not know why I couldnt have just died the first time. As if anybody cares. If anybody cared I wouldn’t be in this situation right now. I have sought help through counseling but I have found it to not work for me. I find myself wanting to hang myself everyday. I want to so much. I know its my only hope but I […]
I found it so hard to get out if bed this morning. I used to consider myself a Christian. So I prayed last night. Because I feel like I am fighting myself. Too many times I am fighting the urge to cut again or to pop pills. I feel like if anyone can help, the big man upstairs can because if he doesn’t I won’t be here much longer. I am constantly trying to stay strong, but I am not sure how long I can hang on. Honestly, any night could be the night.
All I wanted more than anything this weekend was to come home from college, drive the five hours to see my friends and family for my birthday weekend. I now realize it was a bad idea, I was so hypermanic yesterday when I came home, literally haven’t been that happy or excited for anything in ages. I have to leave tomorrow morning and I’m so terribly homesick even though I’m still here. It was like nothing changed, I had a bad nightmare that I was at college and I woke up and everything was okay. I don’t know what to do, I hate it there […]
Tell me, what’s so great about being at college, this fucking college life? It’s suppose to be the best time of your life and since I’ve been here, this has been the worst 2 weeks probably in my life. Before I left to come here, do I dare say I was happy? I think that’s what happiness was, being surrounded by people who love you, don’t make you question their intentions and people who are around you just for the sake of enjoying your company. We didn’t really do much, we constantly just sat around smoking weed and talking, enjoying being with one another, but […]