Another reason to kill myself.. Oh how ‘happy’ that makes me. My family doesn’t accept me for who I am and neither do my friends.. No one is there for me. Like I care though. Okay yeah I admit it- I am emo. And most people think us emo’s are heartless souls. Well that’s not true. Always sitting in a dark, cold corner crying.. Does anyone know what it’s like? It’s painful. Maybe some of you reading this will understand.. I always feel as if I am unimportant, unloved, and unwanted. Oh great I ju- Every ‘quiz’ I take says my life is fu(ked up.. […]
Tag:
Heart
i love my boyfriend but…. he recently almost killed himself. if it werent for me calling the police he’d be dead. but now he’s mad and im sick of all this shit. i mean i love him but i cant handle this anymore. but if i break up with him he’ll kill himself. plus i know my other friend c. will ask me out and i like him. nowhere near as much as my current bf but i do like him and couldnt say no. and then my current bf would try to beat up c. (and hurt himself in the process because he’s not […]
my bf was going to commit suicide. we’ve always talked about it, but this time he sounded serious. he made me promise not to tell. he said he was going to write him suicide note and leave as soon as he was alone, most likely the next day. he said goodbye, and thank you for being an amazing gf, and sorry about a hundred times. But i was scared so i told my friend who knows all this and happens to be his ex. ive convinced her before not to tell anyone, but this time she said fuck it im telling, and told her mom. […]
I know it’s over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me, and said :
“If you’re so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
And if you’re so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you’re so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you’re so very good-looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight ?
I know …
‘Cause tonight is just like any other night
That’s why you’re on your own tonight
That’s all I think I can relate too, someone […]
There is someone who bullies me. Someone who teases and taunts and tortures me. That bully is me.
No matter what I do, I notice a flaw in me. I’m stupid, ugly, fat, and friendless. No one listens to me. I doubt my parents even care about me. Whenever I try talking to them, they don’t even bother to understand my problems. I can’t talk to my brother. He has autism and wouldn’t understand anything. My ‘friends’ are fake, as fake as a Barbie doll. No matter how hard I try in school, there are always people who do better than me. I hate comparing myself […]
Emotions swirling
Happiness, anger, sadness
Which do i feel?
I feel fake
Unloved, unwanted
I am weak
Just a side character
I seek to be noticed
and held
But no one can see me
Amd i transparent? Invisible?
Doesn`t anybody care?
I cry silent tears
and everything i say falls on deaf ears
I am a souless doll
I have no free will
A doll`s emotions are painted on
Artificial
No one knows what the doll wanted
For the doll doesn`t speak for itself
I have to be a Fake person
to be seen
I have to be perfect
not me
I have to live up to
Expectations
not my limits
Everyday my will and emotions leak
From a cut in my being
A cut so deep that not even stitches
Could keep infection out
I […]
I was just about to do it! Grab the rope from downstairs and hang it over that beam in my garage that hangs oh so high. I’m screaming “I dont want to do it, I dont want to do ! ” Â I never want to kill myself but I could never bear the fact that the world is crashing down right on top of me and I began to snap. I didnt know anybody was home but then I hear my father downstairs looking for his motorcycle keys. All I had to do was just wait till he got on that motorcycle and I would […]
i walked home alone at the end of the night and whispered your name in the dark. you stood out a mile from the secrets and lies and found a straight line to my heart right from the start.
the maps and the journeys were clear to see. directions were etched on your words. the dark pools of yesterday under your eyes where pain and perfection got blurred. but i liked what i heard. don’t fall. i’ll be your painkiller. don’t fall. we’re the same as each other. don’t fall. you just have to give me a call. i deserted the days and those delicate […]
This is what could, as you would say “break the camel’s back”. I may have lost someone I considered a brother, but I could lose the only closest person after him… My sister (not related).
My sister and I have been close friends for close to about six years. We have spent so much time together and told each other many secrets. Even though I still act somewhat paranoid around her, I know she still cares for me and we love each other very much. It was only recently did we start talking again since there was a break in our education that allowed up free […]
My deal is odd, even I see this. I am not angry or sad nor do I hate anyone or have anything to blame of anyone. I am simply bored with life or tired of it, I find my self excited over the thought of finishing the final chapter in life however I do understand once I am gone; My wife will be heart broken as will the rest of my family so when this happens I need to make sure they are taken care of (financially) which may bring them a sense of relief and make the mourning process more bearable. My […]
My sister died two weeks ago. Both of us had struggled with depression all our lives, but found different ways to deal with it… which caused us to have little in common the last few years. We had been communicating again and on good terms since summer, but had not actually seen each other (except when she was in the ICU) since a family get-together about two years ago.
At that event there was drama, which I loathe, and a lot of misunderstanding and misrepresentation of a letter I’d written her saying I was just completely burned out, used up, and could not function any more trying […]
Depressed over a romantic failure. How familiar does it sound? I was talking to her for almost a year, but she ended up falling in love with someone she knew for three months. It’s a downer. But why would she fall for someone like me? 24, living at home, can’t find a job, and really awkward. Yes, she said its cute and stuff, but cute goes only so far. And it happens again and again.
Looking into people’s eyes has always been a challenge for me. I stutter. I seem to have no control over the tone of my voice and my facial expressions. This makes […]
Alone In This Cruel World That So Many People Call Home While My Thoughts Brutally Attack Themselves
by Miss.Mayhem
written by Miss.Mayhem
I’ve attempted to write my suicide note. Or notes I should say. I’m not even done with the one to my love. It’s like 4 pages long already and not even close to being finished. Do I know if I’m going to commit suicide? No. I just want everything ready for when and if it does happen. I see it being a 30 to 70%. 30% being I won’t attempted it. The other 70% is I will. Probably not now but latter.
Tomorrow and Thanksgiving and I’m not sure what to be thankful for. My family resents me. My friends will eventually turn their backs on me. What’s […]
Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.
You are just so much better than those people or things that upset you, who ignoring you, who or what makes you scared… There are people who love you and who DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your life (you sure will), and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!
Believe in yourself! I DO!
Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]
Whats the differnce between wanting and needing?
You need food, water and air.
You want nice things, espensive toys, amazing cars.
What do I want?
I want you. I want your life to stay.
Your soul, Your heart, Your body here with me.
Untill the day we are both meant to go.
Not for either of us to die before we have really lived.
What do i need?
I need you. I need your life to stay.
Your soul, your heart your body here with me.
Untill the day we are both meant to go.
Not for either of us to die before we have really lived.
What I want, and what I need, are the same thing.
It’s […]
I guess I didn’t notice I loved you until you held my hand. I didn’t know you loved me until my friend told me what you said. But you don’t know me. You know me….but you really don’t. You think I’m perfect because that’s how I display myself. I make sure I smile and laugh. I make sure not to show any emotion I would regret latter. You just think you love me. You don’t, truth me. Once you find out, you’ll change your mind…they all do.
But if you want to know the truth, fine:
Yes, I do have scars I hide.
No, I’m not the girl […]
Why did the teasing continue on?
Why didn’t they see until she was gone?
Why didn’t someone say,
“That’s not the right way.â€
Why do they find such pleasure
in hurting people to this measure?
Why didn’t someone say,
That’s not okay?
Don’t you see the hurt? Can’t you see the tears?
Can’t you tell she longs for someone to be near?
Can’t you be her friend,
true to the end?
Can’t you see how you tear her apart
and break her heart?
If only they’d have left her alone.
Instead of breakin’ her bones.
If only someone would’ve had the strength
to tell them NO, push them away.
If only someone would have taken the time to say…
That’s not okay.
Don’t you see […]
for the first time in 18 months I saw the love of my life in action-via video. It was filmed just months before I met him. he was so happy, smiling and laughing. i recalled that smile, remembered that laugh. felt that feeling he gave me. we just lied in bed all day holding each other. but underneath we felt the same thing. we walked in on me once as I was vomiting up a large amount of pills. my liver will never be the same. I watched his eyes fade over the months as he sunk deeper into PF. I followed him down the […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
My boyfriend told me to kill myself. I cant leave him. I don’t know what to do.
Should I just do it.