Guys, this life needs you!

This is the post at top of site when I came here tonight. Now I see the link you post. That speaks to me. Last year. I encounter idea of loss of soul. One day, when I make a decision not to do something, to not go to engage with others in something that later I learn very relevant to my person, dictionary.com word of the day: Perdition – a state of final spiritual ruin; loss of the soul; damnation. I was made to think for several reason after that this was a turning point toward my perdition, the wrong path. I even happen to watch Grapes of Wrath movie recent after with character who felt something similar about loss of spirit. But that speak to me. I might look to the website. Even your post, before I saw the link, that is the kind of thing I hope. I don’t know if true, but in post I wrote tonight but didn’t post, I wrote in part of it “That post just before which I read when I came on the sight, about the world and the people needing me, that’s exactly what I’d like to believe, that’s what my inspiration is, or if I expect something of God to help me, or if he tell me a message, tell me what I should do, it’s like that. But I don’t know 1. if that’s true 2. (more serious) if I am even capable of being a person someone needs, being something good, maintaining it, or if I’m a lazy, will-less bum who doesn’t put the effort in and is really too dumb too different than to be “good” person as others, really doesn’t want to do what is necessary to live or incapable of caring about life.”
Whatever the future holds, the reality now is that I’m a tired animal whose eyes are telling him he has to sleep for a while. My main meaning is to thank you for sharing that. But now I feel I hold to my destiny like holding the very end of the string of a kite moved by fierce wind with only tips of fingers–I can’t claim to be in very good command, or have any sure foresight of what will come. I suppose that may be just unlearned way of saying I am tired. This is thing troubling to me. I feel I didn’t need to say most of what I’ve said, or it’s not worthwhile. Am I capable of really saying worthwhile. Does universe need all of that? All of my thoughts? What small act or thought will be parsed from all this for the better? Is it just to live, that is better? I take from bible in past months when searching for personal message, “In quietness be your strength” and I saw to hold to that, and also “Show the good works of the Lord.” Like I can, maybe capture or share some good things of life, mindful of those and let others be too, without this thoughts of mine anyway. That is random story of search for guidance and idea of what to do. I am very conflicted have been a lot in past of whether to share my thoughts or whether they are worth others time or “the right thing to say.” or afraid of how it will impact the person. And now with this, not wanting to bother you with it all, bother you to come with a response, which I can’t be sure what will happen whether I’ll read or give sincere heart to.
But basically, thank you for planting seeds with good intent in whatever the result. Maybe that is something to learn from.