I feel as if I am a defective person; mere trash that the common person uses for their own purpose then tosses away, like yesterdays newspaper. I grew up in a dysfunctional home. (Who hasn’t, right?) But I’ve had an extremely hard time making friends. (I am in my forties, so this isn’t a new thing.) My family is either ultra-religious &  I am a heathen who doesn’t follow their God-fearing ways…so they outcast me.  Also, my sibling has children and grandchildren now, too…but those are his only family. just his immediate…no sisters, parents, cousins, NOTHING…just his own tight knit unit he gets to […]
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help me
Hi all,
First, thanks for reading. Â I don’t have anyone to talk to, so strangers on the internet seemed reasonable.
I am 37 years old. Â Diagnosed bipolar-II at 20. Â I’m not new to this. Â Usually I’m able to manage mood stabilization with my meds, but being a type 2, I trend toward depression.
Last year, my depression spiraled out of control. Â Starting in January, until it “peaked” mid-summer. Â My psychiatrist of ten years suggested much more aggressive treatment – I was assessed for and eventually underwent ECT (“shock treatment”). Â Apparently it really helped, but I have no memory for the month following the course of treatment.
For various reasons, […]
I have not had one in so long. I need one more than ever to help me and talk to me. I have gotten more and more sad recently.
In fourth grade I moved to a new school..I was heavier than most of the students there and they made sure I knew. They constantly bullied me n called me fat and said worst thing about me. My teacher even pulled me by my hair and threw me into the principles office. I always went home crying. After that year I moved schools. I made sure I worked out so I wasn’t as fat by the time 5th grade came, I entered that school (I left my grammas house n moved in with my mom) I made some friends but I still heard the words […]
Lately I’ve been having more of these relapses and hurting myself I want someone and I need some one to just help me with this ive been getting them mpre then usual now I dont know why
I was able to hang out with a friend, more like sister, that I haven’t seen in what seems like forever. In reality, it was a few months but to us, it felt like lifetimes. We used to see each other every day. She is my sorority sister and we were colleagues. She left the job that we shared because of mistreatment so we didn’t get to see each other every day. Well, we both knew how difficult the job is so we would take turns doing something every week for each other. It helped keep our sanity and our depression in check. Well, she […]
Hi, I’ve been in pain my whole life. I’ve been treated for depression since I was 11 (I’m in my early 40’s). I’ve tried every antidepressant and combinations (don’t tell me I haven’t, I’ve been a nurse for over 20 years, I understand the pharmaceutical interventions available) as well as behavioral and cognitive therapy, nothing works. In October of 2012 I injured my back severely because my wife asked me to lift her. I was on opanna, dilaudid, Percocet, etc. Nothing helped. I saw multiple surgeons, physical therapy, epidural blocks, and a chiropractor but nothing helped. The opiates affected my sexual performance.
My wife of 15 […]
Oracle, where are you. The apex, so- so long ago.
I have done my time. Now, faith is in the hand.
Do not defect me any longer. You, touch of life.
Grand goddess. Twist the codex, today. One, for transcendence.
A war of heaven versus hell, lost, our beginning.
It makes no sense. Fish, a world without a true leader.
Oh, other woman, take us to the land.
Carrying the boulder, of the world. Heal, to become strong.
But here, but now, forever lost.
Born to protect the world, now the devil’s.
We’ve exiled your alien, do not come back to our planet.
The star […]
I dont know what to do with myself. My mother told me i failed every class of my sophmore year, that im a failure, stupid, a waist of time, that im on the right way of being homeless. She tells me i cant go to summer school cause she doesnt want to waist her time and that i have to get a job to help myself from now on. I live right down from my school, about one hour walk. I can do it myself. I dont need her to help me. She said i dont get a second chance so i say”But thats the […]
maybe i feel much more of a purpose, ive gone my whole life be selfish, no im more alone then i ever was, even during my past depression. I have anxitey, last night it leaked in to my dreams, as i shook the fetal postion for a drop of compassion. maybe i just hope someone would help me, i put on a ever so happy front, when this depression stuck so down deep, i wish someone would help me, show me
i call this dark place home. i am stuck living with my crazy family. but i will get out of here one way or another. help me if possible.
Here, in oblivion. Maybe, I’ll find another chance.
I’m afraid there’s nothing more to say.
I’m not make belief, I’m a kid dying.
The holy spirit is the most beautiful.
I will go, before the solstice, if I can. I must.
The leaf is ripped in my hand. Omega-death.
Do not let me hang by the neck, any longer.
That’s the cruelest satanic shit. Fuck narcissist.
Those motherfuckers took over the world. Some fucked up breed of killers.
But now, it’s a whole other breed. My heart since the beginning, with the animals.
I need to be able to breathe, I can, if you let […]
I’m stuck in my life. I just got into a fight with my parents and they told me I stink. They’ve been hinting that they don’t want me living here a lot lately. I could hair get a job and move out but I’ve ruined my life at 19 because I have drug charges against me. I was smoking weed on campus and I got caught. Actually I was smoking because I thought the weed would make me feel better…. It doesn’t btw. Weed makes me feel even worse. I hate me man.
HI! Let’s talk something,if you’re native language is English, you can help me with that. Let’s talk about life or something if you’re feeling lonely or something we can talk. Post your FB or Skype, I’ll add you 🙂
My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008390883212&ref=tn_tnmn
I don’t know how many times I’ve started to type. “H-E-“, No! Stop! People have their own problems and worries. Why should they stop to help me? Would I stop to help me? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard my inner voice scream with the intensity of a million suns. Many people read this post and think, “Oh, it’s just another chick asking for attention.” I honestly wish that were the case.
The darkness is getting darker, and the sun has faded away. I no longer see light, just softer grey’s. My hope has flown away with birds. I’ve cut communication. I can no […]
Hi, I guess. I’ve been browsing this site for about two days to see what it was all about. I discovered it while being extremely upset Sunday afternoon, and well… I guess I decided to post here. I really need help… This is very long by the way I’m sorry.
I feel stupid for even feeling depressed and suicidal. It’s not new, I’ve been like this for a while now. At least a year. Before I tell what tipped me off, I guess I’ll give some background… I’m so sorry for bothering everyone on here I needed to get this out.
In seventh grade I […]
God, I don’t even know anymore. It started a couple of months ago and it was a song that triggered it.. I now seem to be a ***** to people now.. I get so angry over such little things such a someone not putting a lid on a pen.. I treat all my friends like shit, the ones that have been there for me for so long, the ones that know me inside out.. my best friends ): I push all my friends away and now I only hang out wiith people that use me for sex or whatnot.. I don’t know why because thdy […]
I am hopeless, I have no way out, no where to go. I have tried to get help over and over and over and over and over only to be rejected by the 2 people I am trying to get help from. I stopped working last August. I just couldn’t go on anymore. I have a bachelors of science. Against all odds I make something out of myself professionally. But it has done me no good. I still carry the trauma. I absolutely have no friends and no family. I am completely isolated, some days I think I will lose my mind from the isolation. […]
Hello. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to die, but there always is something that stops me. I’m useless, worthless, good for nothing, stupid, ugly and fat, fat, FAT. People are really harsh on me. They even told me to go die. At the very moment i have already cut about 20 times. My parrents know about my cutting addiction, but they don’t give a fuck. I want to torture myself untill I die,but that isno longer enough for me. If anyone knows any good ways to leave this world or help me overcome this shit, please. I beg you! Help!
These thoughts might be just temporary. They might not be. But I’m really mad. So what’s the point of living if I’m just doomed to be under my annoying ass parents for a very big chunk of my life that matters to me? Here’s the thing I have these really big ideas to become more and more independent from them but they won’t let me go through with them. They think they know better than me but they don’t. They think I have no idea what I’m talking about but that’s a load of bullshit. I’d rather take away my own life then be with […]