I am hopeless, I have no way out, no where to go. I have tried to get help over and over and over and over and over only to be rejected by the 2 people I am trying to get help from. I stopped working last August. I just couldn’t go on anymore. I have a bachelors of science. Against all odds I make something out of myself professionally. But it has done me no good. I still carry the trauma. I absolutely have no friends and no family. I am completely isolated, some days I think I will lose my mind from the isolation. I’ve come to realize that no matter how much money and things that I have none of that matters. I struggle on a daily basis not to take my life. I wonder this website is monitored. I am 57 years old. I recently filed for Social Security disability but probably will be denied like everyone else. I have worked my whole life. I am just rambling now. I am so lonely I have nothing to live for and there is no one to help me. Antidepressants can only do so much. I am from Texas but living in Georgia now. I have been thinking a lot of just running away to Florida maybe the beach would help me. I just don’t think I can get keep going like this with no friends and no family and no contacts of any sort. I see my therapist every week but that is just for 50 minutes. 50 minutes I have contact with someone out of the week
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To my knowledge, the police don’t monitor this site. I don’t think they would care if they found it, actually.
Talk about suicide all you want. It’s what we’re here for.
I was arrested , handcuffed and taken to jail 2 years ago after someone call the police when I said I wanted to kill myself. I also have been threatened that if I talk about suicide the police will be called. And I am horrified and being taken to jail again.
Unless there’s someone who checks your computer, you should be safe.
You got taken to jail for a suicidal statement? I didn’t think the police had that authority.
My partner called the police. She told them that I was suicidal. They came to my home I was in the backyard and they came around and asked me if I was suicidal. I told him that I had suicidal thoughts. They took my bag and searched it they told me to turn around and I handcuffed me and I took me downtown to jail. I had to call my psychologist to tell them that I was safe to be released.
I’m aware of some users that have had the police called on them “Biscuit of Death” or something, he was threatening to put nails in his head and someone called the police and he got taken away. Haven’t heard from him in a while, he was kind of crazy though
I absolutely despise anyone that calls the police on another because they’re suicidal, i understand the sentiment, but subjecting someone to such humiliation and degradation for such an objectively innocuous reason has no justification. I would rip the throat out of anyone that called the police on me, to be honest. Fuck, it pisses me off so fucking much.
Stendarr, you seem pretty angry today.
Thank you for validating my pain and thoughts about suicide. I have had the police called on me several times in the last few years. It has not helped me it has only traumatize me further. It was my partner and my mother on different occasions to call the police. And my mother is the one who is a primary abuser and that she married man who sexually abused me all of my childhood. I have tried over 20 different antidepressants and been in therapy for 30 years. But I have had three failed relationships. And no one absolutely no one seems to be able to understand why I would want to die and the response that I get from my partner is can you shut up I need to get ready to go to work. I cry and cry and cry. I am a good person, I have been very successful professional life but not emotionally and my private life. At this point I am completely isolated. In fact, I am sitting in my bed now staring out the window and I can only think of suicide because I cannot figure another way out. I am incredibly incredibly incredibly fucking desperate and lonely.
i’m always angry lol, don’t mind me. i got sent to a psychiatric hospital involuntarily last year and it was the worst experience ever, i’ve never felt such intense hate for a group of people before, it was the most dehumanizing, humiliating experience I’ve ever suffered, I’m very sensitive to injustice, never mind me experiencing it. just thinking about it really stirs the worst in me, it makes me want to cry and punch someone all at once ha. I was dumb and admitted to being suicidal last year while visiting the doctor for eye issues, subsequently they sent me to an emergency room, made me take off my clothes (the worst part for me as I absolutely hate myself) and made me wait in this room with no windows, a sticky floor and just a cot. The guard who was supervising me and making sure I wasn’t going to “hurt myself” was a complete dumbass. They made me wear this fucking brown jumpsuit that was too big for me, it was like being in jail. Then I got sent to the closest psychiatric hospital by ambulance lol, it was so awful, being strapped to a stretcher and being taken away to some foreign place and surrounded by strangers, it was so awkward. i got to the hospital around 11 at night (they were thinking about keeping me at the medical hospital because it was so late and not many psychiatric hospitals were accepting patients because of the time) it sucked. the staff were shit and fucking rude, group therapy is shit. Having 5 minutes to tell your story in a circle of complete strangers and staff who don’t give a shit is useless. All the staff were abrasive and condescending. Some girl lost her shit there and had to be physically strained, she kept crying and screaming “GET OFF ME” “DONT TOUCH ME” and they wouldn’t get off her and they put her in “the quiet room” which is that stereotypical room with rubber walls and no windows lol. I got out after about 2 weeks, it sucked. Pisses me off so much.
not to make this about me, ha, just sharing my experience, I feel ya.
Yikes. Note to self: NEVER admit to being suicidal (unless on the SP)
I am still here….I took barbs and benzos today and am starting to require higher doses to calm me down so I can stand the lonleliness and hopelessness. What is the point of suffering everyday like this. I was screamed at tonight for not ….it doesn’t matter.