I feel… dirty. All of my friends call me innocent but they don’t understand. They rely on me to help them through their issues and I always try but how am I supposed to help them if I can’t even help myself? I have… family issues. When I was about three, my family adopted four kids: Amanda, Jason, Jacob, and Anthony. Anthony would undress me and I’d always be to week and scared to stop him. He would sneak into my room at night and pin me down. He did this for more than half of my life. If it weren’t for my parents, he would’ve done it […]
Tag:
Hero
I can’t be what you want me to be.
Im sorry.
I can’t be smart.
I can’t be pretty.
I can’t be open-minded.
I can’t be strong.
I can’t be fierce.
I can’t be what you want me to be.
Im sorry.
I cant be the honor roll student, Mom.
I can’t be the perfect girl, Jeremy.
I can’t be the ‘fun child’, Chris.
I can’t be open-minded, Morgan.
I can’t be your hero, Shanelle.
I can’t be what you want me to be.
I’m sorry.
I’m […]
We’ve been arguing continuously,if it wasn’t you who started it first,then it would be me.You said that we could make it right together,I said we couldn’t .But you insisted,so I chose to believe you.But..do you see what is happening now? You should’ve believed me and let me leave,so that you won’t get hurt anymore.Do you regret it now?
You’ve saved me when I was depressed and ready to leave this world behind,just by saying those words of encouragement and giving me hugs which you hated but did it anyway.But,are you doing it now? You began to show your disgust when I tried to embrace you.I got […]
I want to share this with you, maybe some of you will like it…
written by maybe_soon_500_days_of_you
Just a  little verse in english of a german electronic band, that made me feel very well. I loved the moment when I heard this one the first time 🙂
” … Life is beautiful, you only have to see it. When everything gets too gray, just screw in the color. I have seen in my travels that we seek happiness because we don’t understand. because we don’t understand … ”
I hope things will get better for all of us. But sometimes I think we just have to make the best of our lives, because sometimes live is better to us, then we think it is. Take […]
My cousin did it. When he was eighteen, about a week before my fifteenth birthday. Eighteen years old. He had almost graduated high school. He was the greatest person in the entire world to me–my hero, my idol, my best friend. When he took himself away from us, I could not get it through my head. Why would he do this to us? Why would he deprive the world of his existence and leave the rest of us here to pick up the pieces? I simply could not understand.
Now that I am eighteen, I understand perfectly. He viewed the world the exact same way I […]
I was talking on here last night to exhausted, and mentioned that one of my neighbors had killed himself. I was the last person to see him alive. We all called him Bailey.
Bailey was a Vietnam vet, a “catch-up hippie” who never got to be part of the hippie movement but who embraced the ideals behind it with a passion once he got back from the war. I don’t know that much about his youth, but I do know who he became, and what he meant to all of us. Its kind of ironic, but Bailey was the hero of our little circle of friends, […]
I pop on most days to work on a project, or to write a reply. Some days I’ll just read quietly. I speak up when I have something to share but I realize my voice just like before doesn’t mean much.
When I was younger I was a listener and I was forced to be a talker. To be a talker to make myself clear and to stop assumptions about me.
A phrase rings through my head “You can’t be a hero” at 12 years old my father did everything to crush my hopes. I did little things, I donated a little money, I held open […]
Maybe together we can touch the sky and watch the sun burn or watch the sky fall and watch the world turn…
My hero…saves me from the world, somehow keeps me close when we’re so far apart
..but i cant help but notice the sorrow..in your eyes. The darkness in your brow…
Superman, are you okay? Your tears are like earthquakes to me…shake the foundation of my world.
I need you to be okay..because who’d save us if you went astray or even…passed away?
*kiss*
I hope it works…for what else could save a hero but love?
I love you
It is not going to get better. It is actually going to get better and worse.  It is going to fluctuate like the temperature does during the year. Or the grades of a collection of students. Or the color of sky at dusk and dawn.Â
There are no guarantees. There is not a happily ever after. It does not work that way. Even if you expend 100% effort and 100% faith what you want still may not happen. Then again it may happen exactly as you choose. Or it may happen in a totally different fashion. The only thing you can do is keep going forward.
Acts […]
Middle of the night you wake up, sweaty, confused, afraid. That same old feeling of dread hits you. Why can’t you sleep? Every night it’s the same fuckin thing.
You wake up hating yourself and wishing you were dead, you start to think of Cutting, that always works.
But tonight Cutting doesn’t help, you are overwhelmed by a strong hatred for your life and a desperate need to kill yourself.
You remember the Plan
You dig around, it’s here somewhere, you wrote it yourself, you knew it would come in handy one of these days.
As you read your own hand writing you are drawn to a happier […]
People die everyday,
if i hold you tight;
i hope you’ll stay
deaths are caused every minute,
but to tell you that i love you,
would last a second.
Sometimes you don’t really know how much you’ve loved someone;
until there gone.
But as always life goes on.
As days pass..
This one will never be forgotten,
One among many
You were my hero
You were always there,
And as i dream, you still will be
When i look up to the stars
You’ll be shining
My face shows no weakness
My body stands strong
but my soul, through the deepness
constantly longs
For a hero to come
come and rescue me
yet, I know there is no one
there’s no one here to see
The pain I always feel
lasting all this while
to know this hurt so real
can be hidden with a smile
~Fallenangel33
when i said more to come, i meant it!
apples, of course 😉
playing in the rain
splashing around in puddles
crazily dancing where no one can see me in my room
singing in the shower
camping
being the hero in younger girls’ eyes
barelypolitical’s youtube channel
and mattmitch1, too
all the love from y’all
music (is in my soul)
chinese food
knowing i made a difference, no matter how small
being a techie
taking beautiful photos
books, books, and more books
movies. especially in theatre.
our crazy lunches at school
taking fashion risks
getting compliments
giving compliments
ice cream
ghirardelli sublime white vanilla dream white chocolate squares (hint hint)
seeing all the comments posted on my posts when i check in
stargazing
sleeping under the stars
swimming in a lake
sloths
baby pandas, […]
2 years ago I joine the marine corps. That wast dream to become a marine. I wanted to be the hero. When I went into the 13 weeks of misery known as boot camp I loved it. I enjoyed it. I met my closest friends there they knew everything about me and I knew everything about them . They were my best friends, my brothers. After basic I went to marine combat training MCT for short and there i was beginning to have suicidal thoughts. It hit me. I was I here ? What was I doing? Nobody was there no one. I felt alone. […]
In short, my brother killed himself april of 2011. He was my only brother and he will always be my closest and best friend, a hero of sorts for a little brother if you understand the relationships between siblings. anyway, he was 29 married no children and i was 21. few months after he passed away i was going to shoot myself in the heart with a 12-guage slug to ensure death and hopefully immidietly death would follow. to this day i don’t know what changed my mind, not fear of death but i guess fear for my family’s wellbeing.. but anyway.. i think about him everyday. shortly after his death i became deeply addicted […]
Dear Hero,
Maybe I’m not nearly as important as I was a few months ago. I may not be at the top of your priority list, or even in the back of your head. But I want you to know I admire you more than anyone in this entire world. And I’m more proud of you than you could ever know. I’m more than happy for all that you have achieved, and I wish I could have the courage and the strength that I have witnessed from you. You taught me how to love and gave me feelings no one has ever given me. I know […]
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