This is my first post on here I am a 24 year old man that has been struggling with depression since 16 the women that I love moved in with me a few days ago because her dad hit her and threttened to hit her kid we where getting pretty close and I was excited to have the possibility to help raise the kid I had come to thinking of as my own all I have ever wanted was a house a good job and someone to share my life with I was so close I hadn’t even thought about suiside in weeks all of […]
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hit
Withought going through all the details, my life has been really hard. and it never seems to get
any easier. Last year I had a bad car accident and was all messed up and had surgery and had to move
in with family. Now I feel like a burden and no matter how much I try to help others I never seem to
be appreciated. Now for me I do have some good things on the horizon. Possible opportunties that could
help me out in life. But Im gettting close to break point. And I have aquired a way to make an end for myself
so I have that handy […]
I am one of those hero-to-zero types, and I cannot bear the disappointment and shame I’ve put on my family. I wake up every morning wondering why I am not dead. If I wake up at kike 3 in the morning, I get hit by a tsunami of sadness, because I only have 2 hours before I face the world. Face the ones I have disappointed.
God, 1 year ago, I would have laughed at myself for being so emo. I can’t laugh now.
My father is so disappointed in me; it breaks my heart.
I don’t even know what I’m doing writing this here…I haven’t told anyone, […]
Here is my life story. My mother left me by 2 years old I don’t know why I always assumed its because she never wanted me. All my other siblings live with her in Arizona. I grew up with my father. He was abusive of course but that’s what how I know people care about me when I can do things for them or they hit me. My dad died of cancer when I was 16 a sophomore in high school I didn’t have many friends and the ones I did have were never nice to me but I hung out with them anyways. When […]
i was playing basketball today and the ball hit my middle finger, and it hurt so bad but that not the thing, the thing is they keep on playing dodging me on the floor NOBODY moved his finger to ask me if i was okay, am i invisible the big question why does everybody do not gives a fuck about me
life is love for somebody but when you love somebody you will miss them and it hurts but when you lose those you love and miss you feel like you got hit by evrything bad but in time you lern to see the little shine there is in death and when you find out what death is you wil know that it is a pretty thing,
I am getting closer and closer to the end now. I have already scouted the location. Its very high and easy to access. There are no fences or anything to prevent me from jumping, which is odd because i wouldn’t be the first one to commit suicide at that spot. At the bottom there is concrete. I will try to hit it head first. Should be the fastest way to go.
I have put my affairs into order as best i can. I have written a suicide note. I will probably do it this week. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow night. Seems almost inevitable now.
There are a […]
I think about killing myself every day. The things I’ve done. The things people have done to me. My life. I have no home, I couch surf to random people, exs who’ve hurt me but I’m so lonely I don’t even care. Too selfish to remember what I’ve done to them. I’ve cheated. I’ve lied. I hate myself. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am in so much debt. I was hit by a drunk driver a few years ago and almost died. I wish today that I would have. Or maybe I am and am already in hell.
I have felt so distant lately even though I know my isolation could ruin the few relationships I have, I can’t stop myself. Do they really care? I hope not. So many times I have heard people say that they only want to be loved but all I ever wanted was to be forgotten COMPLETELY. Not in this stagnant state of conditional love. It would make the transcendence so much easier. I linger in the shadows so that I am overlooked and I won’t have to answer questions or ask them. I inquired for help in a moment of weakness, of fear. I have come […]
I just want to hook-up the PS4 somewhere and play Diablo… Hit me up. Peace.
(Same screen multi-player and online, if anything)
– x guy with the hockey mask
An 18 year old, senior in high school. She found a way to survive for 6 years and finally set herself free. The pain and anxiety got to her. The depression ate her alive from the outside in. The tears lay on her pillow case where she suffocated herself the night before. Her father, still the drunk he was before, still doesn’t realize that his screams actually got to her. He doesn’t understand that after every hit, it pushed her off the edge more. Her mother, still the druggie she always has been, doesn’t understand that it’s not easy having a parent that would rather […]
That’s what I was told. By my own father. I’m only 17.
It makes me wonder then, would he actually feel sadness if I died? I sort of want to put it to the test, but what if that’s just depression screaming at me?
I’m surprisingly calm about this. I’ve been endlessly suicidal recently and I’ve given myself time to come to terms with the fact that maybe I don’t want a future.
Oh, I don’t know really… I think I’ve hit the most agonising rockbottom so far and I don’t think I can pull myself up from this one.
We need to get a hold of Jim Carrey. Hit me up for this. Pilgrimage.
Even the dog wants me gone. I heard growling last night & found her staring right at me through the window & growling! Plus every time she sees me she cowers, like I’m gonna hit her. I haven’t done anything except block her escape holes.
The friend has now moved in & I am reduced to staying downstairs, eating muesli bars for dinner, simply cos there’s not enough for me. Not enough food, not enough room.
Oh & those who are wondering, I managed to plead to stay for another few weeks. Not that I think it’ll do me any good.
I’ve thought about it for years. Tried various ways. Failed (obviously) every time. Lied my way out of hospital after hospital. Spent years “reinventing” myself. But can’t escape the overwhelming need to die. Not to die just any way. I need something creative. It cannot look like a suicide. It can NEVER be questioned. My husband doesn’t know and can’t know i am like this. He didn’t know me when i was “depressed,” medicated. In therapy everyday. He knows the now me. That person works 60 hours a week. That person adores her children. That person is positive and upbeat. Fun loving and adventurous. The […]
When you are bipolar life is like a giant roller coaster. You go up and you go down… And if you’re really lucky you hit a plateau and you just sort of coast along for a while… I finally hit a plateau this morning. Yesterday I was so close to life being over… But this morning the fog lifted, and life goes on.
Maybe if I get it out I’ll feel better. Maybe my next life will be better but I want to leave this one I’m tired of it. All this shit is past mistakes silly decisions. It would be better if I would accidentally get shot or hit by something big. Just so my family don’t feel so bad about how I died. I don’t understand why God just won’t do it cause God know I don’t wanna be here. I put to much faith in people that’s one of my problems and I always get let down friends, girlfriends, family it don’t matter. What happened […]
I am spiraling. I am breaking. I am fucking losing it. My mind doesn’t stop. The pain doesn’t stop. I want to scream and tear my hair out and cut my skin to shreds. I haven’t cut in years, now I can’t stop thinking about it. I just need to stop the hurt. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I have no control? I wish I could die in my sleep. Be hit by a bus. Have an aneurism blow up my head. I just want it to stop. Why won’t it stop. Please make it stop.
Wow I haven’t been on here for awhile probably because it wasn’t helping much but it felt good to let my thoughts out haha…..anyswirls I’m still suicidal….thinking of committing suicide today actually. Not sure if I am going to though, I can see myself doing it but I’m not really sure if I can you know? I mean it’s not like everyone wants to die , it’s just I get to the point of where it feels like I do. Hmm I don’t make sense. But anyswirls it’s been …a tough week I guess. The guy I like ( oh god no not a […]