Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to start my life over again. Locations, friends, schools, jobs, girlfriends and fiancés.. everything. Starting over use to be incredibly hard. But once you reach that end.. there is most often, a fork in the road. And you must choose a path. Death..or starting over. I’ve reached my end enough times to realize that at the end, you lose a lot of cares. And if you can manage to come back a smarter wiser person, you come back with little to lose..but everything to gain. As long as there is breath in my lungs, my heart will […]
Tag:
hope
So I’m 21 nearly and I had a girlfriend for close to 3 years.
We were perfect for each other, but as we all do we had our fights, some alot bigger then others. However about 2 and a half years in i was going to propose when we were on holiday, things didn’t go quite to plan and I never got around to it, that’s beside the point. She left me on Easter this year and has been sleeping with many others. I guess it hurts because I was her first everything, emotionally and physically, but now I’m stuck with manic depression and suicidal […]
This is my final post on here, I thought it would help me. Some of the people on here are really helpful. But I know my decision now. I will go away, in a sense. I have issues befriending people. In the end however they leave, that’s ok though. They are forgiven. So is everyone else who has caused me pain, you are forgiven. I am now at peace, I feel no more pain. I have dreaded posting this, because I felt that maybe hope was somewhere. But certain events today proved to me otherwise. I know that there is no other way. I’ve no […]
Where ever I may go, there will always be Demons swarming around me. Sucking dry every chance I may get at happiness. I have fallen out of grace with the light long ago, and now the dark covers me with its unholy glow of blackness. Perhaps it’s my fault for letting the darkness blacken my soul. Angels scorn me, demons mock me, gods disown me, spirits wait for me. A dissolute creation of the most shallow kind. Doomed to walk in lonliness until the end of time. Another light faded. Another hope darkened. Another dream ripped from me by the demons that swarm me. They […]
For months, I have been questioning the point of life. I have had anxiety for four years now. Acute anxiety that affects my every day life. Recently, I became extremely depressed to the point where never cleaned my room (was absolutely disgusting and unlivable) cried before going to class, had to leave multiple times because of breaking down in class. I hated walking anywhere, I hated taking care of myself, I stopped talking to friends. I started abusing drugs and alcohol. I chain smoked for months. I was so sad for no reason, and felt so worthless. Now, I have moved back home with my […]
6-6-15 12:21 am I changed! I changed everything. I walked out on 20 years. I walked away from what wasn’t healthy for me. I started over. It’s not easy. I have $7 fucking dollars in my account until payday. This is HARD. I am working it out. I am learning who I am. I am trying to be myself for the first time in 20 years. I want to grow. I am open to new things. New flavors. New cities. I will not close off any experience for fear or sameness any more. I will try.
But I want us. It’s really all I’ve ever […]
The decision to keep going for the hope of a better life even though I have been hopeless for multiple years and staying for the only 2 people that have ever cared about me in my life (my parents) or to be selfish and just enter peace where I end the years of suffering every single second of my life where I am not sleeping. I am tired of crying and just want peace. Decisions, decisions. A decision that will mean life or death.
hi I’m a 27 year old person that has been caring compassionate and loving. I have a wonderful family that I would love to repay for everything they have done for me. Lately my depression has been so heavy it hurts. I met a gir. l I’m absolutely nuts over and my mood and things chased her away. I’m so tired of being alive. My body hurts my mind hurts. 27 years old with no girlfriend behind in my education and with no way out. Surely there is a better place for someone like me. I’ve never hurt anyone, I live my life trying to […]
Here i am back in a psych unit… I saw my therapist on Tuesday and i was too honest with her. So now i get to spend a week in here! I really hope it’s only a week because I’ve got to finish off my last preparations before June 11th. wish me luck people
When you feel like giving up, just remember the reason why you held on for so long
written by little_fallen_angel
I’m here for the same reason most everyone is, I’ve given up and I thought suicide was the only way out. Just a few days ago I posted something, but since then I’ve done some thinking. If suicide is the only way to find peace, then why have we held on for so long? It’s not because we love the pain we are in, it’s because one day we hope we wake up and hope the world will treat us better. It might also be because we know if we go we will be hurting our friends and family. Things may never get much better, […]
Someone once told me that since I am the oldest child in my family that pressure and stress comes with the job… He also said “it’s you that has to take the bullet for them” I feel as if I’ve taken the whole clip of a machine gun for them, but as I lay here surrounded by my suicidal thoughts… I cant help but hope that one day someone will step up and take the bullet for me… But by the looks of things that’s not in the near future anytime soon…..
Surely, you’ve heard the phrase “old soul.” Dammit, that’s me.
I’m not that old. I’m still young, most people would say. But the things I’ve been through and the perspectives I’ve held must surely tell another story. I say this with sincerity, not grandiosity. In fact, I’m sorry to admit it. I wish I saw things differently.
All my life I’ve dealt with depression. To be fair, I didn’t start noticing it until I was maybe 9 years old, but I did notice it, and it only got worse with time. Depression brings […]
I’m living on a hope thinking that one day I’ll wake up and magically life will make sense and have purpose, but each morning I awake from the dream that tomorrow will never come. Before I go to sleep I cry, pray, beg and plead to God to let it end to take me while I sleep to the only place I’ll ever be at peace but my prayers go unanswered. So I awake to the thoughts of suicide. I’ve convinced myself that that Hell can’t be any worse than my Hell.
There’s no one to talk to – no one to take the pain away […]
We are all on here for a reason. But since you’re reading this, you haven’t done the deed yet. So what keeps you going? If you have something that gives you hope, whether it be a person, a special moment in your life, a dream, whatever, tell us about it. And if you don’t have something that gives you hope, just read others’ comments. Maybe someone else’s can become your’s too. As for me, this is a little something that has kept me going: https://youtu.be/8tN60yFjO-g
Met this cool guy that seemed like everything I wanted. But the way we met ruined any chances of anything normal or positive happening. And not to mention he lives in a different city and our lives are leading us down different paths. I went to see him and we had dinner and we talked and got to know each other I guess. Once I got home things started clicking and I realized that he lied about how old he was. I don’t know why he did either way it doesn’t matter. It was disappointing but when we talked the things he said I honestly […]
Hi I’m a 15-year-old girl and was very suicidal nearly the whole last year but I got over it and I want to tell my story to help those people who feel like I did some time ago.
It all started at primary school with some guys in my class bullying me. The bullying went on for almost 10 years in every class and school I went to because some of that bullies always where in the same class. Over that long time I became very insecure and also depressed. Depression really started when I was 12 or 13 and I started cutting and burning myself […]
I am a married father of 3, in my mid 30’s. I’m not here for help, hope, sympathy, empathy, or support. I just need a place to chronicle this slide. I’ve been in some dark places before but I think this one has been the longest and darkest (more than a year now). There have been some short interruptions, which is why I am probably still here. These interruptions aren’t times of happiness, just times of neutrality. Speaking of happiness, I don’t know if I’ve ever had a even one true moment of happiness in my life. I’ve had moments of excitement, but I don’t […]
I’ve tried to save myself for the past 10 years but I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to continue it. For the past couple of days I can only see the darkness around me without the light of hope. Nothing make sense anymore, nothing matters.
I am not fit for this world. my whole life I have been ‘that weird kid’ with maybe one friend at a time. I was never properly integrated into the chaotic social structure inside which resides any and all hope of being happy, and it is because of this that I am approaching the end…
I have been thinking about suicide for as far back as I can remember, but it was only recently that I got serious and began my new hobby of noose-tying. I know a lot of people on here say they are ‘horrible people’ and all that, but for me I think […]
this has become ridiculous, im not sad anymore im just angry.. why must i bare the burden and fall apart while he roams the night…
i am dreadfully tired of explaining time and time again why i am angry, WHY CANT YOU SEE?! its YOU, its always ever gonna be you. i love you with all that i am, you are my family, my world, my everything, youre all i have left in this life so imagine my disappointment when i hear on more than one occassion from the people in your life that i should watch out for you the most, that youre my greatest […]