Depression creeps upon you quietly.
At the very beginning you struggle with the little things, but usually, choose to ignore them.
It’s like a headache.
You’ll tell yourself it’s temporary and it’ll pass.
It’s just another bad day.
But it’s not.
You are stuck in this state of mind.
You get used to putting on a social mask and you continue to live among other people because that’s what you have to do.
That’s what others do.
However, the problem does not go away.
You struggle to put on a play every day and it starts to cost you more and more.
That is why […]
Lyrics:
Everyday nothing seems to change
Everywhere I go I keep seeing the same old things
and I, I can’t take it no more
I would leave this town, but I,
I ain’t got nowhere else to go
–
Wake up in the morning to more,
more bad news and I
sometimes I feel like I was born to lose and I,
It’s driving me out of my mind
Gonna catch the next train and I
move on down the line
–
I’ll be ready now
I’ll be […]
Lyrics:
So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just want to break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
–
All my problems
Loom larger than life
I can’t swallow
Another slice
Seems like my shadow
Mocks every stride
Can I learn to live with
What’s trapped inside?
–
I can’t escape myself
–
So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just wanna break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
I can’t escape […]
Hello again everyone. Things have been pretty tough recently, I’ve been struggling to get out of bed, to eat, to talk to people. The impulses are strong. I’ve almost jumped off my window a couple months ago.
My parents are getting old and my dad is a little sick again. I feel bad for them because they have to live and put up with me and all my psychological issues. There is not a day where I wish I wasn’t born. I am turning 23 this month. I am not getting better.
I finally reached the point where there is no hope. And it’s not as dark […]
Miguel De Unamuno – An Eternal Elegy
Oh Time, Time,
relentless tyrant!
Oh terrible mystery!
The past does not return,
it never comes back again,
ancient history!
Yes, ancient, but always the same,
terrifying!
Always present…
. . . . . . . . . . . .
When consciousness is deprived
of the passage of time,
what is it that remains?
What happens to light if the mirror is broken?
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Fierce Saturn,
oh […]
You said: ”I’ll go to another country, go to another shore,
find another city better than this one.
Whatever I try to do is fated to turn out wrong
and my heart lies buried as though it were something dead.
How long can I let my mind moulder in this place?
Wherever I turn, wherever I happen to look,
I see the black ruins of my life, here,
where I’ve spent so many years, wasted them, destroyed them totally.”
–
You won’t find a new country, won’t find another shore.
This city will […]
(Maybe it was because you hadn’t
mastered Geometry)
–
The lad was going blank.
It was ten in the morning.
–
His heart was growing full
of broken wings and rag flowers.
–
He noticed there remained
just one word on his lips.
–
And when he took off his gloves
a soft ash fell from his hands.
–
A tower showed through the balcony door.
He felt he was balcony and tower.
–
No doubt he saw how the clock,
stopped in its […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uok_CWwIWAo
This poem is based on the ancient Greek epic poem Odyssey, which is attributed to the legendary author Homer. Quick summary of the Odyssey: there was a war between the ancient Greeks and the Trojans (Troy was – and still is – located at nowadays North-western Turkey), the Greeks laid siege on the city of Troy for 10 years and they destroyed it (there’s another ancient epic poem, Aeneid by the Roman author Virgil, that picks up the story after the destruction of Troy, but let’s stick to Homer’s Odyssey for now). After that, one of the Greek kings named Odysseus (in Latin: Ulysses) set out for Ithaka, his […]
i’m such a shitty person. nobody likes me because i’m stuck up and over dramatic. everybody says it to me and that’s why i’m always everyone’s second choice. i’m greedy and selfish and ugly. no
wonder my friends don’t want to hang out with me. i don’t blame them.
Our efforts are those of men prone to disaster;
our efforts are like those of the Trojans.
We just begin to get somewhere,
gain a little confidence,
grow almost bold and hopeful,
–
when something always comes up to stop us:
Achilles leaps out of the trench in front of us
and terrifies us with his violent shouting.
–
Our efforts are like those of the Trojans.
We think we’ll change our luck
by being resolute and daring,
so we move outside ready to fight.
–
But when the great crisis comes,
our boldness and resolution vanish;
our spirit falters, paralyzed,
and we scurry around the walls
trying to save ourselves by running away.
–
Yet we’re sure to fail. Up there,
high on the walls, the […]
Lyrics:
Four o’clock in the afternoon and I didn’t feel like very much
I said to myself, ”Where are you golden boy? Where is your famous golden touch?”
I thought you knew where all of the elephants lie down
I thought you were the crown prince of all the wheels in Ivory town
Just take a look at your body now, there’s nothing much to save
And a bitter voice in the mirror cries, ”Hey, prince, you need a shave”
Now if you can manage to get your trembling fingers to behave
Why don’t you try unwrapping a stainless steel razor blade?
That’s right, it’s come to this… Yes, it’s come to this…
And wasn’t […]
Muerte (Death)
To die to sleep… to sleep… perchance to dream.
(Hamlet, act iii, scene iv)
You are the dream of a God; when you awake
will you return to the womb where you were born?
Will you then be what you were before?
Will your death be a new birth?
–
Is this dream absent during wakefulness?
Luckily here the mystery assists us;
as a remedy of our sad life
our fate remains an inviolable secret.
–
Let your future remain hidden under the fog
and walk calmly […]
Vincent Willem van Gogh – July 29, 1890
https://www.vincentvangogh.org
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0612.htm
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0779.htm
Here we are
Stuck by this river,
You and I
Underneath a sky that’s ever falling down, down, down
Ever falling down
Through the day
As if on an ocean
Waiting here,
Always failing to remember why we came, came, came:
I wonder why we came
You talk to me
as if from a distance
And I reply
With impressions chosen from another time, time, time,
From another time
Will the doors of our perception ever be cleansed?
I have to act like I’m getting better so I don’t get sent back to therapy, but I feel worse than ever. Thank you for being there and trying to help but it’s not working. I’m not sure when I’ll decide to end it all but I would like to let you know that I appreciate everything you have done.
Persephone’s nightmare
Lyrics (English translation):
Where once pennyroyal and wild mint grew
and the first cyclamen sprang up,
now peasants bargain on cement prise
and birds fall dead in melting furnace
Sleep Persephone
in earth’s embrace,
to this world’s balcony
never come up again
where once the mystics joined their hands
reverently before entering the sanctuary,
now passing tourists throw their cigarette butts
and go to see the new oil refinery
Sleep Persephone
in earth’s embrace,
to this world’s balcony
never come up again
where once the sea was blessed
and flocks and herds bleated joyfully in […]
I was born into a family history of abuse. My female progenitor, “Louise”, (who I stopped calling mother years ago) was raped by siblings and step-parents and ignored by her female progenitor who favored the boys according to Louise. She got pregnant with me seemingly to “catch” her boyfriend, who didn’t take the bait and left. I suspect they were both damaged, shitty, selfish, childish people who couldn’t love. Louise then neglected me from birth and abused me mentally/emotionally for several years as a single mother on welfare.
As an example, when I was a boy of maybe 8-10 years old, I wrote Louise a poetic […]
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