Tag:

hopes

whatever

by GaiaLiongate 10/8/2014

written by GaiaLiongate

Yes… my life sucks. I don’t think that it sucks that much. Evertime I think I hate my life I think on those people who are worst than me. Like little kinds in Somalia and that shit… that’s the cultural instinct. But I don’t really care anymore. Who the fuck cares if there is someone in a situation worse than mine? That doesn’t make it less painful..

I don’t know, I don’t really care about it anymore. I don’t want to kill myself, that’s the thing… in my mind, there is still hope.. or at least, I crave for some hope… I’m desperate to think there […]

10/8/2014 3 comments

Silly rabbit..

by AfflictedSmile 10/5/2014

written by AfflictedSmile

I gave myself a year to see if I could turn things around. I mean I’ve tried new things and experienced more, but none of that really made a difference. I’m still the same hallow shell I was before.

It’s like re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. You can move them around all you want, but the ships still going under. I haven’t gone under yet, but I can feel the chill in the air from the icy waters I’m soon to plunge into.

Life will swallow me whole as I sink into the depths of darkness. And despite the year not being over yet, I’m […]

10/5/2014 3 comments

But why?

by Jaye 10/4/2014

written by Jaye

I’ve posted a few times, explaining how I tried getting through this and how I’m coping. I’m trying to be positive and focus on the small, good things in order to get by. But sometimes I have to ask myself, why? Why am I doing this? My life has been shit. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s been an uphill struggle since day one. I keep pushing on, keeping trying to find that light… But why? What is the reason for it? In the hopes that something will finally click and things will be better/good? That maybe one day I’ll be like everyone […]

10/4/2014 3 comments

Sinking into Nothingness

by neverland 9/12/2014

written by neverland

I wake up each day wondering what I am doing and why I am still awake.

I had aspirations and hopes that lifted me up really high only to drop me in abyss of nothingness. Live to the fullest? What is the point? For what? For myself? I hate to break the news. There is no more me left as I no longer can feel anything except my weakening willpower and body as the days go by.

What is life for really? What is this pursuit for life actually? For happiness which will slowly fade away to nothingness? For challenging your brain which will […]

9/12/2014 1 comment

what is sleep?

by kateralia 9/1/2014

written by kateralia

Here I am at nearly 2am, still watching boring tv, still wide awake.

Ive already taken 10 mercyndol in hopes that it will make me sleepy & dull jy back pain, but all I have is a headache!

Gahh why can’t I sleep?!

9/1/2014 8 comments

Session 19: Read between the lines.

by R3T31D 8/24/2014

written by R3T31D

Part of me still hopes for a safe resolution, maybe find someone that is not a religious crack head to try to repair me? Is just false hope, I know that. I’ve known that for some time. I wonder why I kept holding on to this noise. I knew that everyone was going to walk away, to move on.

Everyone moves on, in the end we are nothing but memories that linger in time and eventually fade into nothing. Unless you find one of those people that can never forget. If such a thing even exists.

I’ve been researching more locations in the area that […]

8/24/2014 4 comments

A smoke for the thoughts

by MirrorMirrorOnMyWall 8/16/2014

written by MirrorMirrorOnMyWall

Humans are very bad at making decisions. And I’m no exception. Even though I haven’t decided weather or not I will go for the big and final exit or not, I’m already on my way. Unconsciously, I’ve already started to wither. Smoking is obviously bad and sometimes I wonder if I’m going to get lung-cancer one day. The lung-cancer part doesn’t scare me – but the fact that I couldn’t care less, really freaks me out.

That’s one of me biggest problems now days; I simply don’t care. I don’t care if won’t graduate, I don’t care if my pets gonna die and I don’t care if […]

8/16/2014 4 comments

Die for anyone what have I become..

by alina_01 7/31/2014

written by alina_01

Why did I have to end up right here in this place? I am a very cold person now, I mean in order for me to show any type of care and love I have to really really love a person. Generally I’m cold and uncaring and distant and I get annoyed by people a lot. I actually like being alone for the most part, I kind of drag when I have to go out with people. Times like right now I just look at my life and wonder what happened, what did I do so wrong that I’ve reached this point? That i’m this […]

7/31/2014 1 comment

why me

by 5897 7/28/2014

written by 5897

I lost my eldest son to suicide 7 years ago. Since then all the hopes and dreams I had have gone to hell. my daughter-in-law can’t admit to me the problems she has coping with me and the hurt I have to live with so she ignores me. This wouldn’t matter but it means I don’t get contact with my grand daughter and she doesn’t see how that hurts me. But wait there’s more: my only other son suffers from borderline personality disorder and takes everything that goes wrong in his life out on me. I lent him money 3years ago to get him out […]

7/28/2014 8 comments

Frustration!

by WaitingPatiently 7/27/2014

written by WaitingPatiently

I love the way that life hands me extra frustration when I am already feeling more pain than I can withstand. There is nothing to do but distract myself, try to find pleasure in simple things and endure the experience until it finally ends.

I get so tired of looking up, of putting a happy face over my perceptions and soldiering on. But there really is nothing else to do except feel raw pain distinctly. Does that help me?

I keep having intrusive thoughts about choices that I regret having made and about how my life compares to the life that I hoped to live. […]

7/27/2014 3 comments

A thumbsketch biography.

by endinsight 7/21/2014

written by endinsight

Nearly fifty years ago a young woman screamed and pushed and laboured for nearly fifty hours and finally squeezed out a dead baby girl. The doctors in attendance worked on the tiny body and forced some “life” into it. The baby girl has never forgiven them for compelling her participation in a life that has never fit. Although her parents did everything they could, she always felt like something wasn’t right. She had acquaintances, even a few mates, but not one friend – ever. She never understood the crowd and it never accepted her. Even when she gravitated to the other misfits as a young […]

7/21/2014 5 comments

Memo

by RealTalk30 7/18/2014

written by RealTalk30

I want to welcome you to your life. I’ve seen and filled it with my eyes, and it is pure. When you believe in something strong, you can be too sure. And if it’s safe to sleep at night…
I will walk you through your home and set your place. I’m still attracted by your smile, that rests upon your face. You don’t want to rest your lips.. So lets keep them speaking. I hear her speak to me..love
Oh she told me things I’ve set in stone, drove my heart steaks through the ground. I’ve up rooted..all I’ve known.
I know a world […]

7/18/2014 0 comment

by M_Broken 7/16/2014

written by M_Broken

hello! As you can guess from my name who i am..yes i am broken..i have lost everything in my life.
i have a pretty much hard and pathetic life uptill now and i have always fought back..i am a warrior..or maybe i was one…
i really don’t like breathing anymore ..it has become suffocating now.. i just feel like running away ..and the best way to run away is to die..i still have hopes that maybe there would be a magic and everything would be alright…but i think i need to quit…..

7/16/2014 6 comments

How am I to cope with all THIS?

by PippinLink 7/14/2014

written by PippinLink

I don’t think I want this, but what am I saying? I never did.

This isn’t the life I ever wanted to live. I used to have so many hopes and dreams… And now? There’s… Nothing. Just broken remains of the buildings of my hopes and dreams, shattered by those who thought lesser of me, as if their cruel words could never hurt me. But not just them. The family never helped me, if anything, they made it worse. This isn’t where I should be starting though. The suicidal feelings, the depression, everything like that, developed at around the age of 7. […]

7/14/2014 3 comments

She causes me so much pain, so why do I love her?

by godkiller448 7/4/2014

written by godkiller448

I am not a suicidal person, but this does make me sad. I have known this girl for 2 years, and throughout those 2 years I have slowly and slowly fell in love with her. If I were to rate how much I love her on a scale of 1-10 as of today, it would be an eight. Here is the problem though. She pains me and hurts me so much, but she doesn’t mean to. She doesn’t even know show does. She knows how I feel, and she always seems flirtatious, but then some other time she makes it seem like she’s doing it […]

7/4/2014 3 comments

Darkness: The silent hour.

by AarinaDaae 6/21/2014

written by AarinaDaae

I’ve spent the last 48 hours sitting, walking, cooking…Not hungry. I start pacing. Hello panic attacks…Nothing is really helping. Someone shared a suicide story on Facebook. Great, I decided to watch it. I”m completely beside myself. I go to youtube in the hopes of listening to some music that will help and I find more “suicide hope” videos. Yeah…I’m filled with the hope of an end someday. They all seem to outline my issues in a glorified, filtered image.

Another panic attack. My heart is going to give out before I can commit at this point. I’ve started to cross into the realm of being so […]

6/21/2014 0 comment

Bye.

by anon18272 6/17/2014

written by anon18272

I’m sixteen and just recently got caught shoplifting. I’m so stupid. I have one of the highest gpas in my school, play a varsity sport, and successfully take the hardest APs at my school but I threw everything away with this one mistake. My parents blame themselves when it’s all my fault not theirs. They barely make enough to support our family yet I selfishly cost them more so that I can get an attorney in hopes that this won’t remain on my record. If this stays on my record I don’t have any chance of going anywhere in life and all that stress and […]

6/17/2014 4 comments

A Leap of Faith

by khajiit 6/9/2014

written by khajiit

“Take a leap of faith” you said
“and leave this foreign place instead
where demons breathe and dreamers die
and pain and hatred coincide”
“and then what happens?” I replied
I couldn’t even if I tried”
You took my hand and said to me
“trust me, let’s just run and flee”
we race through chasms deep and wide
where some have lived and others died
through broken lands of dust we pass
as we walk on roads of shattered glass
just you and me against the world
where hopes and dreams begin to blur
we run for days, for years and more
and witness all […]

6/9/2014 8 comments

I’m afraid of love

by ClairDeLune 6/6/2014

written by ClairDeLune

and any other positive feelings. Not because I dislike positive emotions, but because I know they will not last long. And once they are over, you’re off even worse than before. It’s like life is constantly trying to show me how happy I could be only to smash all these hopes on the next occasion. I know the same thing is used in sleep deprivation where they let a subject get close to falling asleep only to wake him up with a slap in the face. It’s torture and forbidden with good reason.

My brain is naive enough to fall for the trick every single time. […]

6/6/2014 4 comments

good god

by 2oblivion 5/19/2014

written by 2oblivion

for fucks sake or ffs…

I don’t know why I’m such a liar to myself.

miserable few months.

one good day, one good day!

and I just think yay.

depression is gone,

and the truth.Â no, no it’s not.

it’s in the bathroom it’ll be back soon.

I just haven’t felt good in a long time and I felt good yesterday.Â then the impending doom of my situation weighed back on my shoulders this morning and a day in bed and no eating ensued.

I think I would just like to do something about this,

instead of facing the false hopes of future days.

you’re bi-polar buddy.

-2Oblivion

5/19/2014 2 comments

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