Im currently 17 years old. Almost 3 years ago, i was involved in a fatal car crash with my 3 best friends whom i loved more than my own family. i grew up with them and spent every chance possible with them from the time i was born until that fateful night. I feel as if its my fault. We always agreed on doing things before we did them. Its like we were all one person. We were as close as you could possibly get to someone. I got a text message inviting me to a party. I brought the party up to them and […]
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I had an horrible night tonight… Among other things, I dreamed i was locked in psych ward, trying to escape… And finally a friend helped me to commit suicide… Weird, but it’s not the first time dreams like that have happened.
Throughout this dream i knew i was dreaming…In some may, i could decide what i wanted to do or not, as in real life…It’s what i call “lucid dreams”. But everytime i had these lucid dreams, then I’m suffering from false awakening. I felt trapped in the dream… With no way of escape from it and wake up.
Everytime I try to wake up, i […]
Don’t know why but today I feel like writing my story. So I will. Pardon the Grammar.
No human story is ever single dimensional. there are always multiple reasons that prompt your action and that action causes multiple effects. Whenever I have new mood or new type of person in front of me (that is, in my psyche), I see my life from a different angle. I personally like the curiosity angle and have most respect for spirituality angle. Social angle is the most ugly. I might at times mix them with one another, because ultimately they are one and the same.
(I like to recall things according […]
as u already know, i havent tried to contact anyone in ur family, nor am i planning to…i seriously considered doing this, but please believe me when i say there was no maliceficent intent whatsoever….and now that i realize how stupid this would be of me i swear to you i never will..i was just really concerned about u guys because i’ve read all your posts and u seem like such tourtured and sad ppl, and ppl such as yourselves, with all the great things about u, i really wanted the ppl that love u to know what ur going thru…..but that’s not my decision […]
Sorry this ia written cappy
Hi my name is ezequiel and i am 14 years old and suicidal and i just wanna share my veiw on life.when i was 1-3 my parents brought me to arizona i lived with my mom,dad,and sister.Around the first few months that we moved here my dad began abuseing hard drugs like coke and lots of other drugs he would come home all druged out and abuse me and my sister(she was about 6 or 7)and he would cut my mom with knifes he was always like this.We were really poor my mom got a job at pizza hut and my […]
Ive thought about it long and hard! I have this plan running away!! killing myself!! Should i? let me explain!
Age 9-I was taken away from my dad and moved to Ohio
House 1- My mom sister(Aunt) It was horrid..My cousin took a knife to my throut and i got beat for it, that was the last day i was there.
House 2- was my other aunts house and we got in a huge fight and she moved out.. we sleft on the floor all through christmas and for my 10 birthday
House 3- An apartment with just me and my mom, i was left home alot, she worked […]
I don’t have the faith, nor self esteem. But the ability to try, the potential. I can, but i feel mentally weak and doubt myself. What is it that pulls me down every time? maybe its the opposite of what pushes me up every time; you know tao and all that. Perhaps the question is not how to move up but how to keep stable. It’s the attraction in degradation that pulls me down. I need to avoid/prevent that while remaining true with myself.
I need to be above things. i need to distinguish between what is utility and what is me. I have experienced such states when […]
Please dont judge me for writing this. I need to get this shit out. You aren’t perfect either, so please dont judge me. Life is a cruel thing, self-hatred is all I am left with, living in a rural place with only snow for company and these terrible things. I can’t shut my perpetrator’s voice off. I can’t shut off the demons. God must really love me, yeah, to punish me so fucking hard. Tired of God. I missed the boat with housing years ago and now will be punished in hell forever b/c of it, forever hating myself, all I want to do is […]
i swallowed twnty something benadryls and c lonazepams i was very dissapointed i woke up… any ideas dont own a gun so im not going there. I slit my wrists today but that just numbed me a little bit. also walked into on going traffic … jumped off a second floor building didnt work. can someone help me die?
Last summer i was forced to move out of my dads house because he wasn’t a good man. I was forced to move into my moms in a different state. I bearly even knew her. It was the first day of school and i could tell the students and teachers hated me all ready it was a rich kid school and i was no where near rich. The kids would point at me and laugh and whisper. I felt so small. About a month into school i found a “friend”. I was so happy to find someone i thought i could trust. We had hung […]
Nothing is as it seems. And it never will Life is only pain. Death is peace
written by Born-In-TH3-WRonG-C3NtUry
First I want to say that I am New to this site. Due to my search of painless suicide on Google. Also Im not writing this to get help or even expect anyone to actually read my nonsense. Im just tired and venting my pain. Because I hope to End my life soon. I dont want pity. I dont want people to worry about my children. they will go to my brother which I am going to have stated my my suicide note. Ive actually attempted 6 times since I was 13. which was my first attempt. Now I am going to apologize got grammar […]
i never knew my father, (my mother told him i wasnt his….i learned this thru my uncle at 13) my mother had a Phd in apathy, with a minor in witholding…..it wasnt really her fault though, she was 16, i was a mistake, and treated thusly…. she only carried to term in part to spite her mother, which she freely admitted, and since the moment of my conception, untill i left 4 days after turning 15, i was the blight of her existence, a heavy burden she had to bear, a punishment, if you will, for her spitefulnes….i’m making this sound so heartbreaking, and dramatic…it […]
Em,
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. We need that one person who is always their for us even when it seems like everything we’ve done should turn them against us. And I know you didn’t do much except send out an encouraging text now and then, but you were that person. You were the one who kept me going for this long, who kept me able to get up each morning to face the day. Granted, there were many times when i wanted to die and i could hardly pull myself to my feet and all i could do was lay there, praying for […]
i am fighting the hurt i feel inside. after 13 years of giving my time, love, and heart to this woman, within a few days, she betrayed me and left me all alone. i am 53 years old and lost my youth by giving it all to her. it’s been 5 years now but still the pain comes and goes but mainly comes and stays for a long while. i have tried courting other women but none of them are interested.my heart seems unable to heal. my daughter wouldn’t give me an ear, my family is not interested, no one really to talk to. i […]
I just found this website while I was quite depressed and just thought i would give it a try sharing my story here because I really don’t know who I should trust for now…
To start with, I’m a guy in mid 20’s. My childhood wasn’t that great coz my dad used to beat the crap out of me almost everyday for all his pressure he faces in the outside world. My mom is timid and has to support my dad always even if it has to be over me.
I just wanted to leave them away so I went to pursue my graduation in a foreign […]
I’m a 21 year old guy from The Netherlands.
Im just comming here as a last resort, i just dont know where else to go..
Anyway here is my story:
Im depressed since my puberty started when i was like 12 or something and i been unhappy ever since.
I tryed to commit suicide 2 both time using different kind of drugs mostly benzos and alcohol (im not advocating this methode!) both times i woke up the next day in a wet bed, just because i was so out i just peed myself :\
I been in a mental hospital twice now one time it […]
i just want to be free
hi my life sucks. My dad has beaten me since i was 5, nobody understands me, i disqualified from university, in finding no job in this third world country, no goal life. Even my parents just said to me ” kill yourself” this new years
Please tell me a way, so i can be free of this torment called life.
Mh.. I want to share this now..
Life has no meaning, it’s only a shitty story with a happy start. Im jealous that i’ll never see the things like the other happy people do.
It’s a shame that I cant do something right… The only thing i ever wanted was to do something right.. That the people i love the most would be proud of me..but.i guess that’ll never happen.
My mom was never proud of me and she never will.
But im over it now.
The people i love will die. And i’ll die too.
Live isn’t for everyone.
Live isn’t for me.
This live is just sad. Thats my opinion. Everything […]
Im depressed. I told my mom that, and she made me start therapy. but i hate to say this, but its to late. She has no clue i cut, or have suicidal thoughts. I havent cut in about a month. And today is Christmas, so i should be happy right? Wrong. My new sister got more than i did, and im starting to just feel very down again. Everything would be so much easier for everyone if i was just dead. Im always in the way, and i can never be happy. I have no friends. All of them turned on me and i cant […]
i’ve been thru so much shit in my life i wouldn’t even know where to begin
then what happens? life throws chronic pain at me…yay! now i’m sitting here wanting to die and in agonizing pain
i’ve had this pain for 2 years now and it’s getting worse every day
the funny thing is that i was suicidal way before i got this pain…now i’m even more suicidal than i was before, which i didn’t think was possible
ughhhhhhh please just KILL ME NOW!!! i fucking HATE my life…