I have a boyfriend who loves me, as well as a grandmother and friends who do so, too. So why do I feel so urged to commit suicide? Y’know what I think about sometimes? A scenario where everyone hates me, and has moved on. That way, I’d be able to kill myself, and it be more of a selfless act. I know I can’t die with things being the way they are now, and it’s not like I plan on making people hate me, I only wish I didn’t care so much about the ones in my life, so that I could do this without […]
Tag:
Ideal
I have to ask… am I an ideal suicide candidate? My family life has all but gone to shit (and trust me, I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING to change that around); I have a job that makes me miserable and I’ve had enough jobs to know it’s not getting any better out there. I can’t afford school ( I’m 22) and I don’t know where I want to see myself career-wise. I hate the way I look, despite compliments, which seem more like desperate attempts from friends to raise my self-esteem or from guys to get in my pants. I could go on… I’m serious about […]
I spend a lot of time wishing I was someone else and I’ve wasted a lot of my life doing so. Sometimes I think of myself but a better version of myself, better looking, more talented, an ideal social and home life. Other times I daydream of myself as a completely different person; wether it’s a sociable gay male living in California or pretty blonde city girl living in London, UK. I constantly see people and think ‘I’d give anything to be you’.
I can’t stop and it scares me because it’s not healthy and I’m afraid that I’m always going to hate who I am.
I […]
I’d like to tell you guys that my friend came back to me with a understanding face and that we made time to work things out. I’d like to tell you that she stood up to her mom and that she gained some independence from her. I’d like to tell you that we’re still friends. But life isn’t always ideal, and sometimes not very kind to those who are patient. I will tell you guys one thing for a fact. I am really happy now.
And that I’m happy I’ve moved on from her. I’ve made some great new friends and have a wonderful boyfriend who […]
I dont know why i am writing to this place, but im going to end this existence in 2 days. I going to to this by hanging because it seems quite peaceful way to go besides of jumping and cutting. Â I have read i think to many news and personal stories and i really do know what i am doing. I have a job and a loving family but i am an idealist, like my psychiatrist said and i just cant live like this anymore. My body i just a burden to me, i have tried everything to fix my life, make it near ideal […]
i just don’t see a point to (my) life.
i have no goals.
i have no dreams.
i have no ambitions.
i can do almost anything that i want to and all i want to do is lie in bed all day every day.
i hate shopping and materialism.
i hate smalltalk.
i hate socializing.
i hate people especially judgmental people.
i hate sports.
i hate drinking/bars.
i hated every school i went to.
i’ve hated every job i’ve had. my job serves no purpose.
i hate paying bills. i have the money i just hate the process.
why am i so full of hate? i get bored […]
I was at drivers ed tonight at my high school and there was a basketball game going on and i looked in and i saw all the girls with their friends and families and all i cant think is why cant i have that? why cant i have friends who will support me? why cant i have friends in general or people who like me? no guys are ever interested in me and the only guys that are, are the kinds that just want a ding dong ditch because i let every guy in that i can because they are the only ones that ever […]
i’m seventeen, my mom and dad are the only reason i wouldnt want to die, i would like them to understand i need to die, cos i’m no good, i dnt get good grades, i’m not nice to most people, i mean i dont know how to fake smiles, i cant make many friends and i havent learnt not to care about that, but i love my mom and i wouldnt her to feel sad, i wish they didnt love me, that way i’d be free to do what i know i should, if i died it would be one life’s pollution less, not much, […]