I was at drivers ed tonight at my high school and there was a basketball game going on and i looked in and i saw all the girls with their friends and families and all i cant think is why cant i have that? why cant i have friends who will support me? why cant i have friends in general or people who like me? no guys are ever interested in me and the only guys that are, are the kinds that just want a ding dong ditch because i let every guy in that i can because they are the only ones that ever show me any sign of recognition that i exist from anyone.
I really just feel so depressed when i looked at the those poeple laughing and having a good time while i was waiting in the hall way alone.. waiting for my mother to pick me up and need i mention she had been drinking because she went over a friends house to vent about the divorce and i understand that she needs to let her feelings out but i just get so mad because if she has the time to vent her feelings then why cant she recognize that im hurting so badly? i just wish someone would realize that i just wish my life was like the ideal teenager. I mean i dont care if i get raped as long as it means i get friends or something and dont say that i can try clubs and try things and just keep trying. ive been doing that my whole life! it obviously hasnt worked. I feel so alone. I just wish that the tiny voice that says “Dont do it what if things get better” wasnt there so i could just end my suffering.
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Dont feel alone, some people have life easy, but others of us dont have such good luck. i know how u feel, alone at school surrounded by “friends”, crazy family life, only thing that held me back was that hope to, but i got better, somehow, its hard, but its possible. try not to let everyone get to u, try to stay positive, i hope u can pull through
I’m pretty sure you could meet quite a few mature male friends through the internet who would be interested in you if you advertised not caring about being raped
I would only have sex with older men if they could change my life to something better than what it is right now. I dont think that can happen, ergo i wont be having sex with older men
im sure that it would be a better idea to just try your hardest to make to college. there there will be a new start, and if you just speak out, new friends
;-; stop wit that then stacey….
Bad stacey
recognition form worthless guys ish not worth it
u.u…please focus on other things…
Stacey, very few have ‘an ideal life’ and everyone has ups and downs ~ thats just life. Divorce rates are now over 52% i believe, so you are in the majority re ur family issues.
Try not to be too sensitive and just try to be happier within and realease you will have an escape once you hot college.
It does get better I promise. You’re too lovely & smart a girl for it not too. But you have to stay positive & word hard.
ps and sex with strangers is not a good thing … it will only give you more heartache. What you want is a relationship.
Try ID the positives of ur personality & maybe the not so positive. Then work on being a better all around balalnced person. You will gte there trust me 🙂
Stay well
Addy
I am getting divorced soon Stacey. It sucks really really bad. And I’m also suicidal and the divorce makes it worse. Addy is right about looking into yourself and forget about the others until you find who you really really are. Please….skip the sex with strangers. One night stands won’t fix a thing.
Ponyboy – what kind of a Sick Fuck are you?!?
stacey – sex does NOT equal love or friendship when it is “offered” as a “trade” for companionship – and let’s be clear – rape is NOT about sex – it is only about power control and humiliation … there is nothing remotely positive about rape
There is no such thing as an “Ideal Teenager life” – Stacy – please give yourself some respect and don’t let “those boys” use you – they give you “that kind” of attention because you are giving them what they want – they won’t give you any ore attention if they already got what they came for.
solitary has a point in focusing on making your future better by making good grades to get into a good college.
all the best
grandpa dawg
hey Dawg…..don’t you know what a ponyboy is????….lol….maybe ponyboy doesn’t know either……based in erotica by Anne Rice under the pseudonym of….crap….drawing a blank….maybe Belinda something or other…..don’t care anymore
not judging….read them all…..but if ponyboy knows what a ponyboy is….just saying….he would then be an emotionally sick fuck….maybe just a little more than most of us….wink wink…nudge…nudge…
btw Dawg….just got my little piece of heaven….my oldest daughter called….my son needs again….he has no sitter for court tomorrow….his sister agreed…..but there is a good chance she will be without hydro tomorrow….they’re fixing a transformer….too much weird….anyway….my son has agreed that my daughter can bring Jamiri to my house for the day tomorrow….haven’t been allowed to see her for 2 months…..many months before that…..and I promised her that Memaw would watch over her….I AM over the moon with JOY!!!!….such a simple thing eh Dawg???/….lol….but hard won none the less…..back later….
Wish I could share this feeling with you all…..JOY
Namaste
Actually I’m inclined to agree with pony boy here…if you ‘don’t mind being raped’ you will make a lot of ‘friends’ just not the type you want. I think if you spoke to some people who have actually been raped, you might not be so insultingly cavalier about it.
Offering sex in order to find friendship doesn’t work. It’s like walking into a autoshop when you just want to buy a loaf of bread; barking up the wrong tree. I strongly suggest you try to make some girlfriends first. The boys can wait – they always wait trust me.
@dawg and amakua – not nice namecalling ponyboy. He was only bouncing off staffed own very own niace comment ‘I don’t mind being raped’. Read the post carefully.
wow one ~ thats really sound advice to a teen girl !?
You are evidently in your own funk today vs being helpful …
dear One_day … if Stacey was YOUR child on his blog looking for help – would you REALLY want someone to encourage YOUR child to go “advertise on the internet” for “Mature men into rape ‘fantasies'”
Really?!? if you REALLY think that is appropriate and HELPFUL considering the main purpose of this blog the you are more than welcome to go fuck yourself as well.
pissed dawg
@adastra – not in a funk. Just sick of everyone preaching and forcing their opinions down other peoples throats without bothering to LISTEN to the words of the poster, or borhering to read the comments properly. Especially if you’re going to jump on soneones post just to call people names and not even bother reading the original post that’s just rude. It’s been going on all day. So what exactly do you disagree with in my advice? I strongly believe Stacey is the kind if teenage girl who needs girl friends. It sounds like she is very prone to being used and abused by men. Do you think any part of that is untrue?
@dawg – read staceys post properly!! She says ‘I don’t mind being raped’. Therefore, she is already advertising all over the Internet this point! Ponyboy was just commenting on staceys own words. Jeez
it was a sick fuck comment, agreed but i don’t think anyone would not mind being raped
it is hard to make friends and many of us will go through life not really having any, but being used for sex will not lead to any real friendships
ALTHOUGH I met the love of my life through sex and it was the only thing I really cared about until I really got to know her…keep in mind I was 17
and yes amakua i know what a pony-boy is and you would be judging if you conclude that somebody into femdom would have to be emotionally sick.
I’m not into that business though I’ve just always liked the name ponyboy
One ~ okay, if i misread, i apologise but i dont think i did – no where in your posts ‘prior’ did u you say “I strongly believe Stacey is the kind if teenage girl who needs girl friends. It sounds like she is very prone to being used and abused by men”
Rather u said i tend to agree with pony ..okay perhaps an off the cuff comment by him, but the opportunity to miscontrue the advice is easily taken by a teen to mean its oka if u want to get raped. “I’m pretty sure you could meet quite a few mature male friends through the internet who would be interested in you if you advertised not caring about being raped”.
Hardly sound advice …. even if being said jokingly … but given the nature of the forum & the vulnerability of people, unwise advice / joke.
@adastra – all of this is a consequnce of you and a few others not reading staceys post properly and therefore misinterpreting everything that followed. My comments are directed to Stacey, no one else matters. But yes, in my very first comment I quite clearly say ( to anyone who bothers to read properly) ‘go make some girlfriends. The boys can wait’.
Agreed. unwise and insensitive and i am sorry to have brought imbalance to the forum.
I also apologize to stacey for the comment and would like to be clear that I do not advise her to do that.
noo one sorry …u said ….”Actually I’m inclined to agree with pony boy here…if you ‘don’t mind being raped’ you will make a lot of ‘friends’ just not the type you want.”
That was ur first line, or am i wrong?
Anyway, lets put it down to poor communication skills ….
thx pony
I am going to do my best to curb my ire on this subject …
I have read both post several times – the intent and advisability of a teen girl to post that she “doesn’t mind being raped” is ignorant and inadvisable AT BEST – it is a big red flag that invites trouble. Especially on a Suicide Blog – it is easy for anyone to type anything on a blog without fully weighing the ramification for their statements.
For an ADULT – who should minimally know well enough to know a TEEN may not have fully grasped what she said in a state of depressed, desperate loneliness – to come along and think “Hmmm – here’s a poor sad lonely teenage girl who ‘doesn’t mind being raped’ … maybe it would be a great idea to give her a few pointers on how she could advertise for some nice older rapists” is reprehensible and irresponsible.
But then you (one_day) want to come along and say “We have freedom of speech to discuss teen rape” … with a vulnerable and unknowingly willing teen … and you want to argue how right, proper and just you are?
You never did answer me – what if this was YOUR Child?
disgusted dawg
well well
what a pickle…lol
apologies to any and all i have offended….not my intention….please note i did not call ponyboy out of his or her name….merely mentioned that perhaps was unaware of the origin of the name….and i was a sick duck….better????….and if it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck…i see duck…..sick duck
fyi….i was raped…the first time as a very young child…but unfortunately not the last….i did tell you i actually read the damn books didn’t I???/….have you one day???….just wondering……the name is not very flattering….all i’m saying…..would not give that name to my worst enemy….but it’s my opinion only….which counts for relatively squat….it’s just my opinion…other than that not sure how i have offended you…..do you feel like quacking????….lol please take your own advice and take the time to re-read allthe posts yourself….if you still feel offended….i will apologize again…..but we name ourselves for a purpose….just saying….not a cool name for anyone
as for you ponyboy….if you think you have a right to your opinion….you are correct…unfortunately when your rights supercede anothers rights….you create a problem…..ever see George Carlin’s bit on Rights….very insightful and funny as hell….give it a whirl….so no offense meant…just looking out for a minor in a touchy situation….as well as offering you a space to air your views as well….but the name….why do you hate yourself so much????….just asking
no harm intended ever
Namaste
@adastra read my entire first comment. Jesus. It’s all there. This is not down to poor communication. It’s down to laziness and inconsideration of people not bothering to read properly.
Ponyboy I hope you haven’t been scared away by all the ganging up.
Ponyboy – Thank you for being man enough to own your mistake and clearly correct it … that takes balls to step up and be honorable/
apology accepted dawg
One day …. in case u are unable to read i will cut & past (again) ur first line okay?
“Actually I’m inclined to agree with pony boy here…if you ‘don’t mind being raped’ you will make a lot of ‘friends’ just not the type you want.”
ie this can be easily be miscontrued by anyone let alone a teen, as meaning its okay to do the above ….
Remember you’re talking to a teenager who may also not read ur entire post but only have this ‘takeout’…ur right most people on here dont read …. i agree … but given ur first sentence, i think it was unswisely said given the forum & state of mind of a teenager/people.
Lets leave it at that shall we.
ps: Ponyboy had acknoweldged is error in communication ….. whilst u are still agreeing…
from someone who is 30+ and works in the communication field, i think even you would agree there exists a ‘big opportunity’ to misread/miscontrue ur agreeance with ponys first comment.
enuf said …move on ple there is nothing to see here … 🙂
i was all for giving One_day a pass on his ill conceived sarcastic statement in conjunction with the basic sound advice of the 2nd half of his statement – but when he doubled down then triple, and quadruple downed on the “she said it first so it must be ok”
Many people here have many different problems – can all agree to First do no harm to others?
conciliatory dawg
sooo….how are you doing amongst all the fallout Stacy?….still here….olive branch extended….didn’t mean to overlook you by having attention diverted….i am human after all….lol
so sorry….we will be here briefly…in and out i hope….trust me….we all know how you feel….just in varying degrees and for varying reasons…..just wantedto let you know…i care….i’m listening..
Peace
oh yeah…..and i WAS….capital WAS….a sick duck….sorry….but that too is part of my experience and my truth…
dawg, one is female not ‘he’ 🙂
@adastra – I feel like I an talking to a brick wall. You are clearly not capable of reading a post or comment in it’s entirety. That’s a shame
@dawg – firstly I am a women. Secondly i was not being sarcastic about anything. I never said ‘she said it first so it’s ok’ . In fact I was pointing out how NOT ok it is to say things like ‘I don’t mInd being raped’. On behalf of all women who have ever been raped, do you know how insulting this is coming from a teenage girl?
I don’t like bullying. I felt that everyone was bullying ponyboy on account of a misunderstood comment. Now I am the one being bullied. I can take it, but I’d like to remind you that this is meant to be a refuge and everyone has a right to be here and not be ganged up on.
@Stacey I’m sorry this has gotten out of hand. And I really really really hope you start to ‘mind’ a bit more if you get raped.
come on one_day…..we’re all wrong….even ponyboy…and you’re right…..just take your friggin’ medicine….and ayup i’m a woman too…..what the hell has that got to do with anything….are you normally so defensive and hostile????…not from my experience…..what gives???? hmmmmm
Namaste
lol right back at ya one re brickwall… i wont repeat myself 5 times …. good luck stacey and soon u will have a license and freedom to go out and meet some new pple i hope …
stay positive …
btw one_day….have you heard about The Wilson Project???…..maybe you feel left out yourself….who knows….we humans are a relatively silly bunch of monkeys sometimes…..i know tonight is out of character for you ….sincerely interested in what is poking your sore spot tonight…..no offense meant ever….you normally rock this site….bi-polar???…..multiples????….whatever….not attacking you….looking out for others…..and none of us are above misunderstanding….me least of all….but let’s call it a night….we seem to have scattered Stacy to the four corners of the world…..maybe we should all feel slightly ashamed???….just saying
Peace Out
taking a breather….maybe it’s me that has lost perspective…if so I apologize
@amakua – I believe my comment has once more been misread and you have mistaken a comment intended for adastra to be directed at yourself. Please read carefully people. I only mentioned I was a women to correct dawg who referred to me as a man. But yes I can’t help being a little hostile today, after all that shut that went on with goodgirl. I mean, the girl very courageously posts that she doesn’t want ramming advice down her throat, and what do you do? Continue to ram advice down her throat. And she’s so nice that she just takes it. You go figure… She’s not the kind of person to stick up for herself, do you think she ever will again after being ganged up on? Look I know yr trying to help, but…. LISTEN TO THE GIRL!!! And now I feel the same thing with ponyboy. I feel this is all becoming too cliquey. One person comments, the rest of the clique agrees. Like you amakua, jumping on this thread to help dawg bash anybody, without even paying lip service to Stacey. You’ve apologized for that which is really good of you, but if you want to know why I am particularly hostile today it’s because of all the bullying going on all through the day directed at various different people. But your right, I will take a breather. Thanks again for being the only one to apologize for your part in this. For what it’s worth, I also apologize for my part – which is, jumping in to defend someone when I should just not get involved. And sorry again Stacey, don’t worry this is the end of it
@amakua sorry I just re read that and it sounds like I’m singling you out – not my intention, that comment is directed at everyone
One_day – I “get” what your intent was clearly – unfortunately (and I’m sure you’ll disagree but I hope not) your response was offering a CHOICE that Stacey was/is CLEARLY OPEN to – so let’s step through the quotes
Stacey said this:
“I mean i dont care if i get raped as long as it means i get friends or something ”
the KEY here is “… as Long as it means I get friends … ” – in other words she will do ANYTHING for human contact positive, negative or indifferent
Ponyboy made his comment which he has retracted to his honor and credit. which I called out – (Note: if sticking up for vulnerable women is “bullying” then I will where that label PROUDLY)
One_day then said this:
“I’m inclined to agree with pony boy here…if you ‘don’t mind being raped’ you will make a lot of ‘friends’ just not the type you want.”
Now – if we refer back to Stacey’s statement and frame of mind, she has said that she doesn’t care what KIND of friends she finds at ANY cost – And You OFFERED her a CHOICE that she is WILLING to CHOOSE!
Just to be clear – One_Day, you Offered THIS Choice “…if you ‘don’t mind being raped’ you will make a lot of ‘friends’ just not the type you want”
and as for my interpretation of “she said it first” – How else should this be interpreted?:
“… read Stacey’s post properly!! She says ‘I don’t mind being raped’. Therefore, she is already advertising all over the Internet this point! Ponyboy was just commenting on staceys own words.”
Stacey said it – it must be Fair game huh?
Dear Ms. One_day – I absolutely Understood that you were trying to counsel Stacey that what she said and the choices she might make were not good – and I totally agree that she should try to find girlfriends and leave the boys until later – that is good sound advice . But to tacitly reinforce ponyboy’s comment while offering contradictory advice nullifies the positive message you were trying to communicate.
Now – i may have been harsh in my initial response to Ponyboy’s comment – but I wanted to respond with the same shocking vulgarity that I perceived while being clear that the comment was, in fact, shocking and vulgar
to me – the well being of the people on this website trump the first amendment right to say anything they want to anyone without regard for how it will be perceived by them … there are a lot of grey areas when discussing the principle subject mater of this site – I don’t find any reference to he acceptability of rape being one of those “grey areas”
done dawg
for crying out loud one_day…..is this not your comment from GoodGirls post that follows.????….
Screw all these people here and them telling you what to do. If they had all the answers they wouldn’t be here. Just do whatever you need to do. And if it’s a social function with free food and booze, hover near the bar and buffet. You will meet people there who don’t want to be there as much as you
We made suggestions…we made apologies….whom exactly was telling her what to do????….lmao….would you like me to continue….you didn’t stop there…..but please stop now……i beg you….no one means to gang up on anyone here…..trust me…..but some times we all need it….just take the damn medicine and quit being so darned ornery…..
oh yeah….and then on the same post…..
I think you should just go to bed. I don’t think anyone is being really helpful and some things are better left to be a problem for tomorrow
and then you come here and start the same shite….what gives????/….alll i really want to know?????
and then you tell us we are being insensitive…..go back and read the post from start to finish….until then…..please…..you’re making yourself look foolish….and i know from experience that you are not foolish at all….and now i’m making myself look like a foolish lawyer…..enough one_day……peace….or rather uncle….enough time wasted…..truth….
What’s going on over here? I take a little break from Modern Warfare and everyone
‘s in a little scuffle? 🙁
I don’t think One-day looks foolish at all. I agree with a lot of what she says. There is a group of people here who act like a united front and if you disagree with one the rest will come after you. It’s odd because before that happened I liked this place.
@uttilini – I agree with most of what One_day says too – except for the one sentence and her defense of that sentence – so I’m curious, if which statements by One_day do you disagree with?
I would agree that a mob mentality is unhelpful but there are times when a given statement/position go against the sensibilities of more than one person – why should they not have freedom to express that? that doesn’t necessarily make them a “mob” or a “clique”
FYI – i may have missed it – but of all things that were said – I don’t think anyone said that One_Day looks “foolish”
dawg
Okay, didn’t really want to be a part of the hijacking on Stacey’s post here. I don’t think you should let guys use and abuse you. And I wouldn’t wish rape on anyone. Hope you change your mind on that.
Since I was brought up here I thought I’d say a little something to defend myself and one_day. She said, “But yes I can’t help being a little hostile today, after all that shut that went on with goodgirl. I mean, the girl very courageously posts that she doesn’t want ramming advice down her throat, and what do you do? Continue to ram advice down her throat. And she’s so nice that she just takes it. You go figure… She’s not the kind of person to stick up for herself, do you think she ever will again after being ganged up on? Look I know yr trying to help, but…. LISTEN TO THE GIRL!!!”
She has a point. I did say not to give me advice or suggestions and that’s what I got. No, I didn’t feel like I was being ganged up on. But I could have done without all of that, to be honest. It wasn’t really helping. I just wanted to be listened to. The one person I was actually the most angry with was ad astra. He blatantly ignored everything I said in my very first post. I’m not mad at anyone for it now. And I think everyone should lay off on one_day.
Hey GoodGirl….nice to see you…..how are you feeling about shit today???? Better I hope….I do not give insincere compliments….you are beautiful….you deserve much Joy….
As for the other shite….I will continue to apologize till I’m blue in the face….it will change nothing for some…..not my fault…..but no harm was ever intended…..btw….she’s still crapping all over Dawg….just saying….check it out for yourself….much easier to apologize….will definitely find forgiveness….and put this shite to rest…..it’s a new day….a new start….a new chance….and even I grow weary of her pain….my own is enough….just saying
If I upset you yesterday…um this morning whatever….again I apologize…..but i meant everything that I said…..am taking crap for my comment on your photo as well…..must be my year for crap…..I can take it….lol…again no harm intended, I think you are a beautiful Soul….especially for putting up with us….lol
Namaste
It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean any harm by it. I know none of you did. Next time though, I expect you buncha crazies to just listen to me when I ask for it. ;]
You all should know what it’s like to not be listened to.
I don’t want to get into the middle of a fight. I thought it my duty to stick up for one_day since she always seems to have my back. I’m returning the favor. I don’t think she would want a teenage girl to get raped. That’s just ridiculous. As for the comments to dawg, don’t even have time to read them right now as I have some place to be. I’m still not feeling that great. But i didn’t expect to. I know you meant your compliment. And I actually liked that you said i was hauntingly beautiful. I like weird shit like that. Don’t even worry about what you said yesterday.
Thanks for your graciousness GoodGirl…i admit to my mistakes….and i never for one moment believed that that is what one_day meant…..and as the others tried to explain as well….no one really thought that was what she meant….some just thought she should apologize…explain what she meant…and join in ….instead she got defensive….the rest is history….i hope….lol
Sorry to hear you are not feeling better….hope somehow the day gets better….i wish you all the best…..and foolish lawyer that i am….lol…in my own defense…..i did tell you to whine away….did i not???….lmao….like from one whiner to another or some such….again meant every word i said….can’t always help how it is received….would love to explain….never hesitate to apologize….but i seem to have a problem putting the damn ball down…lol at myself….Wilson!!!!….lol
so again i apologize….would love to talk oogedy boogedy with you anytime your feeling up to or interested in it….one of my favourite subjects as well….and you are A Beautiful Soul
Namaste
ahhh shit…..i forgot to take offense….i am assuming that i would be included as one of the crazies….lmao….i only wish i was crazy most of the time….would be easier…..know what i mean????
Love
woahh.. i did not expect this type of turn out. I dont find anyone in the wrong here. Im actually kind of confused of who said what and what it meant because there are so many of you… its kind of overwhelming. Listen when i said i didnt care if i got raped as long as it mean i have friends.. i was very up set and depressed and i didnt literally mean that. i was using that statement to shed a little light on how desperate i am to have friends that are GIRLS! no im not a lesbian but i just want some friends who are girls. ya know back in high school when you guys saw those cliques of girls laughing all the time. thats what i meant by friends. not friends as in guys or old guys or rapists and anyone. i want actual friends. sorry if that confused anyone. and no i dont want to be raped i again was just using that statement to express in a nother way how i despreately want friends and a life and to feel relatively normal.
I really want to thank everyone for their comments and im soo sorry if i offended anybody or caused a commotion. i was in school all day and i live in connecticut so im in that time zone hence why i havent replied this whole time. im not ignoring it just so you guys know.
i really do feel the love that people were defending me and trying to help me (and that includes anyone that posted one here). I actually for the moment reading these felt important to somebody. i like wanna cry because all of you touched me so much with this post. again sorry for the confusion. and thanks to all. you defintely made my night 🙂
poor Stacy….sorry….we really did crap all over your post last night….sorry
That being said….lol…..do you feel better today????….
Gonna share a piece of advice with you that my late father gave me….
“If you ever have one true friend in your entire lifetime….count yourself lucky….most of us don’t even get one .”
those girls are not necessarily friends….rather friends in the moment…or for a reason…etc….nothing wrong with that if that is what you want….but for me….i like my friends to be different….different ages…sexes….nationalities…religions…etc….who really wants to spend all their time with themselves….and if your friends are all cliquey and the same as you….multiply your anguish by a dozen….lol….hope i said that right…lol
imo only….it is good for the sheeple to flock…..but not the herders….lmao
wishing you all the best truly….maybe try being your own best friend….now there’s a real challenge…lol
Namaste
me i like my friends to be different than me
just kidding…..some will get this ….some won’t…
from my understanding….it is now politically correct to call yourself a lesbian….but the radar goes up if you state you’re not…..just screwin around….not serious…serious
Anyone who wants to follow this tiff, go here:
http://suicideproject.org/2012/01/well-this-isnt-awkward-at-all-is-it/
@amakua, just to remind you I am on a different timezone, so I couldn’t go to bed and just drop it… instead I sat at work, getting more and more angry!
@stacey, I am so glad to hear that you didn’t literally mean ‘i don’t mind being raped’ and you were just venting… for the record, I know how it feels to want girl friends, and I know how it feels to be left out. You’ll find your place in the world, you might just need to push a bit to make it.