I have a boyfriend who loves me, as well as a grandmother and friends who do so, too. So why do I feel so urged to commit suicide? Y’know what I think about sometimes? A scenario where everyone hates me, and has moved on. That way, I’d be able to kill myself, and it be more of a selfless act. I know I can’t die with things being the way they are now, and it’s not like I plan on making people hate me, I only wish I didn’t care so much about the ones in my life, so that I could do this without remorse.
It’s funny, because they probably wouldn’t think twice about me if they were in my position. They’d more than likely do it, and have tons of people pretend to care about them. That’s what I hate about suicide. When it comes down to it, it’s simply a means for others to pretend to know the victim in order for others to like them. What a sickening thought!
I guess I could try making my death look like an accident. But that’s too much trouble than it’s worth. I can only hope that someone hates me enough to attempt to murder me.
8 comments
Reading this, you could be my twin. Honestly, that’s exactly how I feel with the family and friends, I have such a good life but I don’t want it, I have often thought of staging it, but I still couldn’t bring myself to do it – too selfish.
I’m happy to find someone who can relate to me! I guess we just have to hang in there. <3
I feel exactly the same. I’ve tried isolating myself more and not letting new people into my life, but for some reason new people just flock to me. I can’t reject their attempts because I don’t want to let anyone know of my attempts; it’s so hard.
You have everything you need to think positive.. that’s more than most of us on this site.. we don’t have much.. you have a loving family and a bf.. i dont understand why you would want to kill yourself, to me that’s absurd.. i can only say either it’s a chemical imbalance, or your not eating healthy enough or exercising.. you shouldn’t be having these type of thoughts.. maybe your job or career isn’t satisfying you?
Please don’t try to guilt me into enjoying my life. The bottom line is that I’m ready to embrace death if it were to come for me. Insulting my weight isn’t going to make it easier to accept your life, so I suggest being nicer in the future.
Watever
He wasn’t insulting your weight hun. Exercising releases Dopamine, which is the chemical in your brain making you happy. He suggested the same thing to me and that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s keeping me sane for now. And eating healthier can make you feel better too…
Exactly what pumpkin lover said. Kraze wasn’t being rude.