I just want this pain and loneliness to go away. I feel trapped. My depression is getting worse. I want to be gone already but im afraid to kill myself. Everytime I try to attempt suicide I fail. I dont know what to do for all this pain to go away. I hate myself and everything in this world. Why isnt god helping me? I ask for help but my life is actually getting worse.
Tomorrow is the day my mom finds out I wont be graduating. I am so scared because she will beat me very badly when she finds out. Im going through enough with my depression. And now my anxiety is kicking in.
This place doesn’t feel like home..
im alone.
I dont really know what im doing here or how i really found this place, all i know really know is that i am alone. I dont have any family or friends to talk to or suport me, an i wish i did.
I cant shake these feelings much longer. This life has not been kind and im ready to leave this forsaken place. Mid september hints the user name.
Tbh im a 15 year old boy who has just taken a load of pills and drank so much. And im so lonly that i have to tell a website that im sorry and im going to miss people.
My family ill miss you all.
My friends… The ones i still have… Ill miss you.
But penny ill miss you so much… I love you so much… I fucked up and fucked you up with it… Now ive fucked up again and were both fucked up again… Im not sure if ill be at school tomorrow… Im sorry i broke the promis again. Im going […]
Fuck sake. First this is my fault. Do you remember P.Y from most my other posts. She was my girlfriend. The last thing keeping me a part of this world and i fucked her up with being suicidal. Now we broke up and she has a new boyfriend but has still been having sex with me. I know i fucked up there to but it gets worse. I told a few people trying to figure out what to do and im sure one of them will tell her that i told them. She would never even want to see me again if that happend. Its […]
Well ive finally built up the courage to end it, there zero chance things get better . its like i try to talk to about my problem and ppl including my own mom just toss aside how i feel my depression , everything like is nothing. I just feel alone, im playing to lose.if i feel angry or sad my own family looks at me like i have no right to feel that way . funny thing is me and my mom got in an arguement just now and she wished me death at least she thinks so too . well someones wish is going […]
Ive felt like this forever just knowing that i ruined and lost the best thing that has ever happend to me has just given me a reason. I cant do anything about it. Theres no hope for me. I love everyone who still loves me im sorry for what i have/will do to people. Im sorry to everyone who is affected by my dission and my depression but i have to do this… Its even hard for me to write but i still love you P.Y im sorry dont do anything if i do itll be ok for you. lm sorry to my family i […]
I have been suicidal for 5 years now. I have tryed to stop throught the years. The happyist thisng happend to me when i got a new girlfriend. I loved her. I still do. She still tells me she loves me. But im not sure of that anymore. Ok… At the start of our relationship things were going good everything was ok. I was finaly happy. But as the months went on i started to feel like killing myself again… I tryed it… But she stoped me forcing me to through up the pills that i had swollowed. After that she got me seeing two […]
Been going good for 6 months now. That i when i started going out with my girlfriend. I was finally happy and felt blessed to have her. The last 2 weeks have been horrible between us. We actually broke up 3 days ago but got back together the next day. I felt like i could fix this. Felt like she was trying as hard as me to fix it. We were ok for a day and a half. Then i got a hold of her phone and went through it a bit. I found that one of her new friends was upset with her for […]
i am not on this website because I’m suicidal, im here because I want to help someone who is. I want more than anything I’ve ever wanted, is to be the difference between a life and a suicide. Drop me a message if you want and please know that you aren’t the only one that feels this way. Everyone at some point in their lives thinks about killing themselves, but some people let it turn into a reality. You may feel like it’s the only escape, but it isn’t. There are 7 billion people in this world so there can’t be no one to talk […]
Sometimes.. I’m just ready to see my last breath fade into the cold air.. And watch as the darkness says it’s goodbyes.. And welcome the happiness that sometimes seems to afraid to constantly stay.. Because I’d be in the happiest place for my happiness to feel safe.. Safe to stay with me. The darkness won’t be there to scare it away and won’t stop me from holding my happiness back. I’ll never have to see the darkness again.. Ever again. I’ll be in my own world.. My own world with my own happiness..
someone please wake me up
im still dreaming
I have never really had any friends my whole life. Ive dealt with depression and ocd for 4 years, suicide idealization, i just graduated high school last year and now in college. Still no friends, i ruin my everyones life. My 21 year old sister does not love/care for me. My mom.. Most of all i have hurt her and stressed her out all my life. My dads gone and i wish i could have died with w/ him. I mess up everything i do. I am selfish, weak, and a person that should have not been born. Im 18 years old – a female […]
I’m 23 years old still living at home with my mom. I have no goals or ambitions. Everyday I sleep, eat, work, repeat. I have no social life, never even had a girlfriend. I only have one friend and we’re drifting apart. Im suffering serious depression and anxiety everyday but have no one to talk to about it.
Sure it would hurt a couple people a lot if I killed myself but if this is all my life is, what’s the point? I’m existing for the sake of existing
I am starting to realize how down hill im going. I no longer feel the hope that i use to force myself to feel. Things use to seem beautiful to me, even when they went wrong. Now i feel as though i have no limits. No limits on substances or how much pain i will willing take on to myself. I dont have boundaries anymore. i dont have any typical eating disorder but i had so much built up anxiety i was going days without eating, i was weak and sad but physically didnt want food. I have the same thoughts of the same things […]
I haven’t been posting much lately because I have too much to rant about and nobody needs to hear that shit. So.. have some ramblings.
im living on a grain of sand. If i make the wrong move, I’ll fall off. It’s so desolate and dry. I just want to turn it into a pearl. I need to break. I need to collapse and break things. I need to scream and put my fist through a wall. On the inside, i’m losing control, but they still seem to think i have my life together. In their eyes, im confident. In their eyes, I’m strong and focused. […]
I dont know what my life has come to. I wake up every morning and struggle to find the strength to get up. The emotions just overwhelm me, i used to just be able to push it to the back of my mind but now i can hardly make it through the day without falling apart. I cry myself to sleep every night and I cut too. Its like my whole world is falling apart and I don’t know how to fix it. I seem to be pushing everyone away but i cant help it. Im not living for myself anymore im doing for my […]
I don’t often post on forums or anywhere online. I’ve always kept everything to myself. I don’t really do any sharing about myself, to anyone. I don’t like drawing attention to myself. I’m not very social, I don’t like to go out. Being out and around others makes me incredibly tense and anxious. Even over the phone, or texts, facebook, email, etc. I just dont like people I guess. I have one person I love and care about. I don’t really have close friends, I’ve been estranged and was banished from my family for about a decade.
I grew up with an adoptive family who appeared […]
Eurgh im struggling again, I’m sick of my life being robbed due to bipolar and anxeity. I try to be a good Mummy to my four children but with two babies aged 17 months and 4 months I just can’t cope. I’m feeling under pressure to be a good mum and wife, no one appreciates me, I hate what I see in the mirror now I miss my barbie doll looks and perfect figure im just a fat depressed mum 🙁
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