i don’t know if im actually considered suicidal. do I want to die yes but I don’t want to commit suicide if you know what I mean. I don’t do drugs or smoke or cut myself. I just have this want this very real need just to end it all. Ill do little things that no one notices. ill go around with no seatbelt not because I don’t give a shit about safty more so I want to be thrown from a car and die type of thing. im more then willing to jump in front of a bullet or purposefully talk shit to get […]
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if my girlfriend breaks up with me for being a failure im killing myself asap. i promise u that. i just dont know how yet.
I have sooooo much on my mind with nobody to talk / turn to so everything is just built up & continues to build each day i cant do anything without my mind racing all i want to do is run but i cant because its my body so its like im trapped so i just cry over & over & over again im so stressed & overwhelmed.
im sad, but trying to live for my gf and her son. I have no friends and im lonely and bored anyone wanna talk? i dont care about what.
I feel so alone. I have no one. All of my friends say that i f I need someone to talk to I can go to them.. but no whenever I need someone to talk too everyone’s all out or too busy. I understand they have their own lives but honestly I think they really don’t care how I feel or anything they’re only gunna pretend to care once its too late. Im so sick of this I’m mentally and physically insane. I don’t do anything all I do is lay is bed all day. I cry myself to sleep. I feel so stupid and […]
Im new here and i found this site by typing in im so fucked up in the mind. Cause I really am. If you knew me you wouldnt believe it. I run cross country and track really fast. Get told I’m intelligent all the tune. I love computers and gaming. I used to use it as an escape spending hours in my ruin on a game to avoid reality. Then i started smoking in eight grade. I slowly went down hill and od’d on pills. This year was my freshman year i got alcohol poisoning. Here recently i started smoking weed and you know i […]
no one knows what am going thru, life is just one big fucking joke to me and no one cares. i cry myself to sleep every night. I’m so fucking useless that y everyone walks out of my life. They dnt care about me. as soon as i die everyone will be so glad im gone. thats if they even remember i exist
basically I been molested by my step dad at age 5-8 my uncle forced me to have sex with my cousin jenny at age 6 while he molested her brother and sister at the same time. I been horribly beaten by my step dad from age 5-18, My moms side of the family outcasted me and hated me and treats me like pure crap. I was beaten by my step dad till I was either bleeding or he was tired. no one believed me and he was good at getting people to believe him. I been homeless for a year. I have done all kids […]
been a domestic servant today. clean this clean that. but i have a way to make chores a little bit more interesting. mother nature is big help. crank the tunes and ignore the whole outside world for a while. in psycho speak that means isolating. maybe, maybe not. i was focused on my task and was thankful i was alone. cleaning the bathroom is not always a pleasant job. but it was ok because i was flying and up the tunes some more. while i know being alone so much isn’t much good for me but i am short on alternatives. none need not to […]
I cant stop obsessing on my last job. The boss treated me like shit and it really damaged my confidence. It was a camp job 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. I stayed for 2 turnarounds. And both were utter hell. I’ve been dealing with depression for years now and whatever happend when i went to this job this guy just triggered every insecurity i had in me. I shut down and ended up quitting and stayed in bed at home for like a week . My girl doesn’t know how to deal with me. I feel so broken and ashamed i could let this […]
I dont know what to do with myself. My mother told me i failed every class of my sophmore year, that im a failure, stupid, a waist of time, that im on the right way of being homeless. She tells me i cant go to summer school cause she doesnt want to waist her time and that i have to get a job to help myself from now on. I live right down from my school, about one hour walk. I can do it myself. I dont need her to help me. She said i dont get a second chance so i say”But thats the […]
maybe i feel much more of a purpose, ive gone my whole life be selfish, no im more alone then i ever was, even during my past depression. I have anxitey, last night it leaked in to my dreams, as i shook the fetal postion for a drop of compassion. maybe i just hope someone would help me, i put on a ever so happy front, when this depression stuck so down deep, i wish someone would help me, show me
u all have become my friends here. i just want to say thank you. i am trying to get help, but i fear i may do something drastic before then. know that i gave life my all friends. i hope my girlfriend and son understand one day. im trying to get help, but i fear its too late.
we all got suicide stories, some are sad some are really sad, mine just lame is the same ” i hate my parents suicide story” most people mean it when they say they hate their parents some just hate them when they’re mad. i do hate my parents, well, my mom and her husband. her husband makes my life miserable , he is always yelling at me, saying stupid stuff about me and my mom job is defending him, i hate that i hate they treat me like shit, its been like that for almost 8 years im done. I’ve tried taking my life away […]
her name is called Love. She made me  feel normal and warm. Her son was called Hope. Love and Hope are gone. Cold black death made me evil and made me betray them. I am evil, i deserve to die, but death saves me for later. I cant cope. Life is a lie. please death,that made me evil, come kill me quick. (im going to probably kill myself soon). PS. i am not a nice person.
im aaaaaaaalllllllllll alone with rare health problems and bipolar. aaaaalllllllll alone. hopeless and poooor. cant have kids, no sex drive, ED, tired. Went to college and poor. im black. did i mention i was poor? aaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll alone. no sex drive. low testosterone. bipolar. cant keep a job. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll alone. no woman for me. im crazy. i wont live life anymore in a sick mind and broken body. i hate being black. im gonna die
Reading through my suicide note and plan and just mad at myself for not going through with it last time when I was so close… Thinking about all of the times I could have done it and I didnt because im such a coward. If I would have, I wouldnt have to deal with the constant aching in my heart… im not sure how much more I can handle before I blow up
it’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. its not a mental thing– its a physical thing. it is physically hard to open your mouth and talk. the words come out like your retarded and you just cant do anything about it. we were born to die, right? so i might as well just end it now… its crazy how this world can be so confusing. i try to be someone im not so people love me… i fake a smile so people dont question me. i pretend that it doesnt hurt but in reality im in so much pain its crazy. […]
I think about it all the time… at least a few times a day. Suicide. I dont think about how it would affect others.. i dont think about anything but myself. But i never seem to care. I want it so bad in so many different ways. But then i see this kid.. i see how their family and friends are effected. How sad it makes everybody and how much it makes other ppl appreciate their lives and their friends and families lives. Its a curse and a blessing at the same time. It doesnt make me want to end things any less, but it […]
we bleed just to know that were alive. you hurt yourslef on the outside trying to kill the monster on the inside. the worst thing about being sad is that your not really sure about what makes you happy anymore. its like i can compose my self when i with people but when im alone i totally just break down… I’ll adimt it, i stress out, i cry, i hide my emotions, i fake a laugh, i hurt but you know what? i’m trying and its not very easy