I’ve been done for years now I just keep holding on in hopes of a better future but I can’t keep holding on to hope then watching it shatter in front of me I love to much so I break to easily even my Mom doesn’t care I’ve been trying to stop feeling this way to stop feeling that’s all I want I tried to kill myself Thursday but as I’m typing this you see I failed and now I have decided it’s the end I don’t how I’m going to but I have to
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there’s this girl I stayed up all extra late to talk her actually I met her on here… after awhile she gave me a reason to not want to kill myself anymore… then we started to have feelings for each other..at least that’s what I thought..a couple of I love yous and good conversations later I get a bad feeling that something isn’t right turns out she had a boyfriend all along I was just some extra conversation..then I almost lost my mom I lost my job and im out of reasons to keep going.. guess this is goodbye
I always say things I shouldnt and I always mess things up so im just gonna stop talking to people then I cant mess anything up because there is nothing to mess up and ill be alone anyway so no one to hurt when I die
i have been on here for a couple of days but i deal with the same thing you guys deal with…….i am stuggling to not try and commit suicide even thoe it hards i get thru it.i have learn its not worth it nd nobody is worth my blood or me dying.if you ever need someone to talk to just comment below and i will help you i promise or i will do my best to try and help you.
Every one thinks because i look happy means i have no problems like i dont deal with things.
When i came back  to school last year after my suicide attempt everyone just gave me strange looks….
Behind this smile is pain and hard times…
behind this smile is problems im dealing with..
Im NOT perfect…
My half or so the one i stole the body from torments me. She screams at me. She uses imeges of others against me. At five i replaced her sole with mine… im sorry.
I just want to go and forget everything. I just want to vanish out of thin air without a trace.
when that feeling of when your 14 years old and your mother speaks about you to everyone but in the most hatered way as if shes helping saying that it would be better if i was back in care well ya know what mother why the fuck did you allow me back in your house when you know im different then the others in our family when i need your support but you just tell your friends and family im incampable of even looking after my self, so what i have a boyfriend and i dont wanna stay on this shitty holiday because your always […]
I’ve attempted to overdose on many different things.. Last night I tried to overdose on what was left of my 200mg seraquel… When I awoke I couldn’t move my body, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t function… My dad came over to bring me food and had seen what I had done.. I reminded him of my aunty, she committed suicide a few years ago.. He kicked me to the ground.. My boyfriend abused me for the pathetic attempt. Something wants me to be alive, and slowly suffer..Â
I know im a pathetic person, I know I’m mental, I know I’m manipulative, im […]
I use to think of myself being better than anyone else.But it aint worth it if u don’t prove it to the society, i realized it recently that I am the biggest failure and not a trust worthy person. in these past few weeks i have done so many regrettable things.1) i took money without asking my parents 2)I have failed my classes and coursework which my father went through a lot to get a seat in that college 3) i failed my group in completing the coursework, which ruined the relation between my best friend and me. so i had to talk with my father about this the first […]
im sat here in the middle of my moms living room on the couch listening to music,its like im a ghost they dont see me and if they do they dont care that im here so why am i? why havent I ended it they would notice me hours if I went to my room and ended it they wouldnt find me till its too late,they wont care they never have they know im depressed and they dont even try anymore I see it in their eyes they think im fucked up freak and maybe am which makes it that much clearer that I shouldnt […]
here I am laying in bed after a night of almost no sleep like every other night since ive been on these pills…im just to weak to move anymore its only a matter of time before my “sister” comes in yelling calling me names telling me to get up but I dont have the strength anymore im looking for a way to end this life,ive tried overdosing but that didnt work so I need something worse I dont care anymore if people are upset if I die because if they cared they would try to understand my pain but they dont even talk to me […]
fucking crappy ass friends i have. so this is how it is i decided to bring to of my friends to this band cncert thing cause i wanted to spend time with them. My other friend who is my ex, so is the one i was taking, want to go along so i said ok so i was going to buy another one. when i told them they were like if hes going then im not. i got so pissed that i said something i regreted i said fine i dont need you guys for anything anyways. this part i regret but this part i […]
Not having the energy to write back guys you think are cute
not having energy to write reviews on yelp,things you love My childhood psychtrist killed himself this past weekend what does that say for me? what does that mean,This was amilestone breaking point in a metaphorical symbolic way,Idk idk things have been getting better,Like really better but when things go bad everything just piles on,Really I could break or be the most strongest person If anyone knew my whole life or my life they would see how thin and how thin and so close they are to eachother idk idk ill be fine but this […]
I’m leaving not for a few days im leaving forever i can’t handle this obviously i was a mistake if i can’t feel happiness by the time you have read this im dead no takebacks i know but life would be so much easier without me bye world if your my friend and your reading this please don’t get upset don’t waste your tears over someone like me personally i don’t want to die but it’s the only way for me to remain happy it’s like my life is frozen in this one dark spot that i can’t get out of im only 11 […]
this is my first post here I dont even know why im trying its stupid all I want is to die ive tried overdosing and cutting but I just ended up in hospital and since ive been on these new pills all ive done is make things worse I ruined 3 friendships and my relationship I messed up
why am I here…I JUST WANT TO DIE and end this hell thay is my messed up life
How long does it take to suffocate? Just wondering if anyone knows . If you dont know then please dont respond. Dont tell me not to do it or I have choices or im not trying hard enough or I feel sorry for myself. Ya every body goes through shit and someone always has it worse , still want to die so tell me what you know or dont please. I just wanna know how long it takes.if anyone knows I dont want advice I just want to leave this world I dont care. I dont have family or friends im alone so it wont […]
Sorting out my thoughts I guess, really hard to know what is what  anymore, am I just thinking this way cuz im angry or depressed or  is this what I really think. I question every thought i have anymore, I don’t trust myself to make many decisions anymore. Insomnia is kicking my ass . 2-3 hours sleep a day is really getting to me. Soon i will crash an sleep hours an hours. Obessessive thoughts and tourrettes syndrome is starting to get really bad to.
I have nightmares about my boyfriend , in them im trying to escape and hide from him. .. Guess cuz of all the […]
I’m heading down a destructive path I don’t care anymore Im jut kinda done with it. I’m ignoring how I feel it builds up and I freak out have breakdowns and panic attacks. I’m not functioning right. Im to busy helping others trying to make ten happy and worrying about them that I don’t even help myself or even try to. I don’t know what to do I don’t think I want to get help anymore I’m just kinda here.
I wish i could go back  and do things differently. Now im stuck. I guess thats just the way life goes, although I know I would die if I knew I could come back new. i didnt know someone my age could carry so much regret. It only really hurts when I see something that that reminds me, like today i saw the snack gummies that we used to eat whilst we stayed up all night long watching stupid movies. I did everything you asked of me, and would literally have pulled my heart out and given it to you if you needed it. How […]
i just want to go.
people wont miss me.
the one person i thought
that would miss me
well i just discovered that
in the end they wont miss me
theyll move on
i just want to leave
im numb but in
so much pain
all at the same time
its weird because
i cant feel happiness
i dont remember
how to be happy
what it feels like to
be happy
all i know how to
feel is sad, pained,
and lonely
oh and ignored.
i guess i was right
this world is better off
without me.
isn’t it?
yes it is.